Alice Brine's Survivor: The sexist world of Survivor

No! The men are voting us all off.
Scott McAulay

No! The men are voting us all off.

OPINION: By the end of this week episodes of Survivor NZ, all but two of the women get voted out. There are literally two women left.

It has only been 14 days and they managed to get rid of them all. If that doesn't highlight how much of a social problem we have in this country, then I don't know what does.

I am now stuck watching a show about a handful of 20 year old alpha males, running around in the bush, blowing smoke up each other's a..holes. Yay.

Alice Brine: welcome to Boy Band Island.

Alice Brine: welcome to Boy Band Island.

I won't be reading the comments on this. I can already predict them anyway. I earn an extra dollar every time you say 'shut up you ugly femin...i b....', so tell me something I don't know and save yourself a buck.

Alice Brine's Survivor: 30 things I thought of while pretending to like this show
Alice Brine's Survivor: They tried and failed to make it feel like the US version

Here are 23 thoughts I had while watching Survivor this week.

Kate Sheppard wouldn't have stood for this malarkey.

Kate Sheppard wouldn't have stood for this malarkey.

1. Last week, Georgia got voted off. They'll tell you it's because she was an outcast in the new tribe. They'll tell you she brought it on herself. I'm more sceptical than that. I just think it comes down to the fact that a lot of people are terrified of strong women. This has got to be one of the quickest seasons of Survivor to get rid of all the women in history.

2. I might actually do an investigation on this.  We could have a cute little world record for New Zealand. 'Fastest season of Survivor to vote off all the women is ironically the county that was the fastest to give women the right to vote in the first place.' Imagine the headlines.

3. The cop is stoked about the fact that Georgia is gone. He's now walking around like he invented the concept of power. I would love to shoulder charge him off his high horse if I could. This guy's entire body language changes when he is smug. He walks differently, he talks differently. He turns into a different person. Vote him out.

4. The cop keeps talking over top of Barb.There have been about three separate occasions where I have noticed him doing this. Barb just takes it, and doesn't complain because she's probably used to dealing with shit like this her entire life.

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5. The show is somehow getting more boring as we go along. They need to have a merge ASAP. Until then we are just stuck watching the old people tribe versus the seventh-form-all-boys-boarding-school tribe.

6. If something doesn't change ASAP it's just going to be a bunch of old people left at the end of this. They'll be running around, unable to complete challenges, getting helicoptered out of there after someone's gout starts playing up.

7. How come all the fat people are still fat and all the skinny people are practically emaciated? The skinny ones have become actual skeletons and the fat ones, like the cop, are still pretty much just as fat as they were when they got there in the first place. Something suspicious has got to be going on with portion sizes.

8. Hannah got voted out in episode one because she is overweight. However, this cop is fatter, and way lazier than she was. I'm pretty sure it's because he is a male and men are allowed to be fat, but women aren't.

9. At one point, the B-Roll footage is literally just a pile of leaves. They use a pile of leaves as a scenic cutaway.

10. The cop describes Shannon a 'a naive young girl who giggles a lot'. This is bull! Why does he not take her seriously? She's an educated, strong minded, athletic, talented woman. If they were actually stranded on an island in real life, she'd out-survive him within days. She's not a 'giggling girl.' That's so degrading. I can't believe he called her a 'giggling girl.' It scares me to hear him talk about someone like that when he is a police officer.  We hear so many stories of women feeling like they are not being taken seriously by police and hearing this guy talk about her like as a lesser citizen just makes me shudder.

11. One of the guys has a Pounamu tan line. It is badass. I hope he wins the show.

12. Georgia wins Redemption Island. There is now a tiny, tiny, chance that she might win her way back into the game. Maybe, legally, they have to include a certain average number of women on the show? Maybe that's why they have Redemption Island in the first place.

13. Monday night rolls around and so far, no merge. Shay is stuck walking around with a bunch of boys who refuse to include her in any of their activities. It reminds me of when my brother had birthday parties at Laser Force and I wasn't allowed to play.

14. Shannon ends up begging the cop to let her stay. He stands there arrogantly tossing a stone and talking down to her. I hope she makes it to the merge and builds a revenge alliance to vote this cop out pronto.  

15. Orange team deliberately lose their immunity challenge so that they can vote the one last girl out of their tribe. During a puzzle challenge, they actually write the words 'tight ass' instead of actually doing the challenge. It is painful to watch this pack of boys go to such arrogant extremes to make sure they vote the last girl out of their tribe as soon as they can.

16. Shannon, the girl that was going to be voted out of the other tribe, starts sobbing as soon as they win immunity. She knows she was going to go home.

17. A girl, Shay, is voted out this week. No surprise there. That's it. There were three women left and now there are two.

18. It took 14 days for these men to one by one, kick off all the women.

19. Can't wait to watch next week's episode of sexist boy-band island.

 - Stuff


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