Good sex is all in the mind

In movies and books, it is rare to see an average-looking couple having sex, so we become convinced that our sexual experiences should be more exciting.

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It sometimes amazes me how easily people are duped into handing over hard-earned money, but when it involves sex, one should never be surprised. However, recent reporting about the men's sexual clinic industry dismays me.

Drug companies have recognised a goldmine and the disease-mongering increases. Some men have almost lost their lives as they remain hellbent on improving erections or delaying ejaculations.

Let's look at how Viagra works and how erections are created. When a man is aroused, the brain releases a chemical called GMP (guanosine monophosphate), which allows blood to flow into the penis and create an erection. But another chemical, PDE5 (phosphodiesterase type 5), is also released, and this one works in tandem, creating a balance. With sufficient stimulation, the erection continues.

Viagra blocks PDE5 from being produced and thereby prolongs erections. It works well in 70 per cent of men, although about 16 per cent of users report some unpleasant side-effects. There are problems when men are taking other medication for controlling high blood pressure. Those who have medications to control blood pressure are cautioned about using it and a full medical examination is essential.

There are also pills which help ejaculatory control, but they, too, have side-effects. When men stop taking the drug, most return to rapid ejaculation, so it is best to develop ejaculatory control through prescribed exercises.

Wanting to try Viagra? How about first considering the power of the mind? When your penis isn't as predictable as usual, might your thoughts and beliefs be impacting on your erections?

Long before men are actually in a sexual relationship, their heads are gradually filled with all sorts of myths and misinformation about penis-centred sex. Most would probably deny that jokes and references to a large penis have an effect, but the accumulation of denigrating references to small penises does help explain why many feel inadequate about their genitals.

In movies and books, it is rare to see an average-looking couple having sex, so we become convinced that our sexual experiences should be more exciting.

Viagra and the many tools medical science brings us are worth celebrating, but we must be clear about what they can and cannot do. Pills can be tools to better health, but they are usually only part of what is needed, and that's definitely the case with sex.

Helen Mounsey is a Christchurch therapist and part of the Sex Therapy New Zealand referral network team.

For professional help with a sexual matter visit www.sextherapy.co.nz