How to survive the work Christmas bash

When it comes to the office Christmas party, are you Mr Boring, Ms Maneater or Mr Sleaze?

There's something about the office Christmas party that brings out aspects of our colleagues – and ourselves – that we don't see during sober daylight hours, says author and body language expert Allan Pease.

Free-flowing alcohol is a major factor, he says.

"When you're drinking, you're doing it at someone else's cost so you don't have to worry about how much you're drinking," Pease says.

"Someone's always filling up your glass for you."

Being lubed up on alcohol makes people lose their inhibitions and can turn a workplace wallflower into a party animal.

"The people who are really quiet at work. . . they become crazy, the start dancing on the tables and falling arse over head. . . which is really not a good career move.

"(Work Christmas parties are) a bit of a free for all for some people."

Workers also discard the usual office boundaries at Christmas parties because it isn't "officially" work time.

"The rules aren't there. There are people who have certain hierarchical functions. . . but when you're all there together you don't have the same work hierarchy," Pease says.

"The behaviours that exist in the workplace that might have been subtle, you might not have noticed, become amplified."

That's why the office Christmas party can be a dangerous place for anyone seeking career advancement.

"It can cost you your job if you act like an idiot," he warns.

To make matters worse, Pease says bosses often go easy on the grog so they can keep an eye on the antics.

"They want to maintain who they are and maintain their power and status . . . and it gives them an opportunity to analyse the behaviour of all their staff members."

Just about everyone knows someone who has been left red-faced after office party hijinks.

But if you do happen to make a fool of yourself, all is not lost, Pease says.

He suggests "effective grovelling" is the best way to redeem yourself.

"If you make an idiot out of yourself. . . you need to make a public apology," he says.

The apology should be verbal but an email follow-up won't hurt either, he says.

"Say to the people involved, and to the boss, that you were really out of line and really sorry about it, and you'll never do that sort of thing again and you realise what a fool you are."

Pease, a teetotaller and the author The Definitive Book of Body Language and Why Men Don't Listen and Why Women Can't Read Maps, says he avoids the pitfalls of the office party by remaining sober.

"I'll be at pre-cocktail drinks. . . because by the time it gets later they're all pissed out of their heads," he says.

Office Christmas party characters and how to handle them:

• MR SLEAZE – This is the guy trying to crack on to everybody in sight. He can be shut down with "repelling signals", such as a tight-lipped smile and crossed arms.

• MS MANEATER – The woman who is determined to get a guy no matter what. Unlike Mr Sleaze, you can be honest with this character. Pease suggests a direct approach. Try saying: "thanks, but I'm not really interested."

• MR BORING – No one wants to get stuck chatting to this Nigel-no-friends, who everybody plays "pass the parcel" with. Pease suggests getting friends to bail you out when you send them a secret signal, such as a tug on the ear.

• MS WALLFLOWER – She's high-maintenance party pooper who hangs around the sidelines of the action. "She's a problem because people feel like they should get her up and get her involved, they start to feel sorry for her," Pease says.

HOW TO AVOID EMBARRASSING YOURSELF

- Don't drink too much

- Don't be the last to leave

- Don't get in peoples' faces – stand about a metre back when talking to someone

- Dress up but keep it conservative – don't wear provocative or offensive clothing

- Don't say anything you wouldn't say in the office. Now isn't the time to confess your undying lust for the boss.

- AAP