Dear ex-lover: A plea from Trade Me
After a long and tumultuous relationship, jessgallowaynz ended things with Trade Me in an open letter published on Stuff last week. Well, Trade Me won't go down without a fight - here's their attempt to win her back.
We don’t want this to end, but when you’re in millions of other relationships - and you always said you were OK with an open relationship - there are rare occasions when you don’t give all your lovers the care and attention they want and deserve.
Be gentle on bob3nz; he’s just as important to us as you are. We can’t choose favourites as that wouldn’t be fair, and while jazzedpossum79 got your boots, just know that it wasn’t meant to be. There will be other boots.
We trust our good traders and we knew you’d get that trampoline and look after it - the seller never complained so we know you had it in hand. We’ve comforted bestmom34, she’s going to be ok.
While you are one of many, you mean the world to us and we’re always thinking of how we can make your life better - don’t set yourself up for a life of FOMO when the next cool thing emerges.
Never say never - who else is going to help you track down a Hatchimal when your 4-year-old pesters you, or provide you with a quality road bike when your husband decides he needs to join the lycra gang at 45?
Think of all the good times we’ve had together, late night bidding frenzies, ridiculous bargains, your first car (where would you be without Michael, your red ‘94 Nissan Sentra?), that flat in Newtown you just had to have, and of course that $30 dryer you take to bed at night.
We’ve shared so many weird, wonderful and important life moments together - stick with us jessgallowaynz, our local team is always here to listen at all hours of the day, and we promise to keep you safe. It’s the Wild West out there Jess, our little village is way more fun.
Our team will always help - no one wants fleas in the armpits, if something goes wrong we want to make it better and it sounds like we should be speaking with timpletim01!
Please let us make it up to you - we’ll send you a token of our love and undying affection. Please don’t ghost us, it hurts our feelings.
Your Sentra was red
Your trampoline pads are blue
We love you jessgallowaynz
And we hope, deep down, you love us too
Kevin and the Trade Me team
P.S. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
- Stuff Nation