Gear porn
Gear porn. It is not as dirty as it sounds.
Anyone who is in to any kind of sport probably understands the term. For me, it conjures up enticing images of shiny magazine pages, filled with pictures of … bicycle gadgets. Running gadgets are good too, but there’s so much more scope for neat things on a bike.
The term however, may horrify those who are not into sport. A colleague looked torn between horror and disgust when another workmate introduced the phrase into conversation the other day.
I made haste to assure her it wasn’t actually a strange sexual fetish but a perfectly family-friendly interest in looking at pictures of things I can’t afford, and don’t really need, but enjoy fantasising about anyway.
I'm not sure if things beyond my reach are more fun to look at than those that are. I am rather partial to a browse through Torpedo7.
If you’re not into sport, I’m sure you have other catalogues or websites you like to read and drool over. Stuff you can’t afford but would like to have anyway. Perhaps you could swap the word 'gadget' for clothing. Clothing porn sounds more than a little wrong (mind you, so does gear porn) but you get my drift. What do you like to drool over in a perfectly harmless manner?
My non-sexual fetish isn't just thing things that can go on bikes either. It’s the bikes themselves. It’s an opportunity to study in detail those bikes that turn my head as they zip down the street. I mean, it’s not exactly polite to stop a cyclist in the street and say: "Hi. I just want to tell you that your bicycle is beautiful."
As well as being ridiculous, it's a line that sounds worse than anything you might hear in a bar. Hmm, I did say I wanted to date more this year.... but as it is, I’m sure some of the people on the bikes I stare at think I’m checking out their lovely legs. Sorry if I disappoint but the dopey expression has little to do with you.
If there’s any lust involved, it’s entirely about the lovely carbon-fibre frame. Usually. But I digress.
Recently, I’ve found myself staring with an expression of longing at runners too, which must be a disconcerting experience for them.
But it’s the activity rather than the person that provokes said longing. With an injury – and a 100km walk to train for – keeping me at a more sedate pace for now, I want nothing more than to have the freedom to break into a jog.
It’s pointed out how much I rely on endorphins to pick me up when I’m a bit blue. I’ve had to revert to rereading my favourite books in the sun. This is an activity that never fails to cheer me up. Come to that, gear porn always helps too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, since I already have the Torpedo7 site open on another browser, it would be rude not to look.
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Brilliant, I too find myself staring at cyclists as they go past looking longingly at their carbon frame wishing I had one. I have often wondered if they realise its the bike I'm checking out and not them! probikekit.com is another favourite gear porn site. :) If only I could justify buying that garmin gps thingy for my bike...I'm sure I'll find a reason one day, 30th birthday pressie to myself maybe?
Aaahhh. Gear porn. Mmmmmm.
The only problem with that though, is every so often one ends up buying something out of their league. I did that with a mtb once. Well above my station in life. Naturally, I had a mate who then would tell everyone about said bike and how good I was (apparently). I ended up having to ride off a 40 ft near vertical dirt bank to show I was entitled to possess said bike.
I hate to confess to the world's most boring fetish, but I have to show a bit of restraint when searching Amazon. Be it fiction, or some techical topic I need to source good resources for, I search and scan the results a little rabidly. And a random "look inside" and I see they are brimming with information.
There is more than a little thrill to seeing the courier arrive a week later, and to open the parcel to reveal these pristine, virginal little treasures. Mmmm, shiny and with that fresh new smell. I will put them aside for now, to later be taken to bed with me!
I swear to God, I do have a thing for new books.
Yeah I love my bike porn, my favourite viewing is Ride magazine which I subscribe to, unfortunately it only comes four times a year.
I regularly find myself browsing the higher priced sections of the GT and Marin catalogues, and lately have developed a Garmin fetish...
...everyone does it. It's just another way of indulging in their hobby. My other secret shame is looking at Alienware laptops I'll never buy. Online configurators are the devil's tool.
My gear obsessions are pretty indiscriminate - bike gear, ski gear, running gear, tech gear, kitchen gear etc. I subscribe to Skier magazine in my Google Reader, and do a lot of drooling over the gear reviews. Even for gear I'd never use, like twin tip skis.
I find junk mail can be a good time waster - I often read the spots off the Dick Smith/Warehouse/Kmart flyers, just mesmerised by the pretty colourful pictures of shiny things.
Car Porn.
I can spend hours and hours looking at 'build threads'. There's something about a wreck getting lots of love with shiny new parts thats just. well. sextacular :P
Oh, forgot to mention the Wilderness magazine 'Gear guide' they put out every year. A whole magazine dedicated to dreaming of toys to buy!
LOL so true Ann.
@Thalia - I drool over the horse stuff too - not that I would use half of it.
I have a slight obsession with buying designer jeans from the USA - always on the hunt for a bargain... and yep, my boyfriend calls it jeans porn.
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I feel the same about Food Porn.. Not neccessarily the eating of food but more the making of food, ingredients, gadgets recipes...
Also about horse riding equipment, new saddles, boots (for me or the horse), saddle cloths, bridles.. covers.... I could go on and on.. its why I still get catalogues in the mail despite not having a horse currently.