Irrational fears and behaviour
Irrational fear. Like blind ignorance and prejudice, it’s something hard to combat, as the most powerful weapon in my arsenal, logic, is going to help. That’s why it’s irrational.
Quite some time ago, I wrote about my issues with swim training in the ocean, due to my fear of sharks. I could argue that’s not completely irrational – sharks after all, do live in the sea, but I doubt that many man-eaters are lurking in Wellington’s inner harbour just waiting to take a bite out of me. Even if I do look like a large tasty seal in my black wetsuit.
However, thinking about it, I realised there are a few more things I am scared of, or habits I have that have their roots in fear.
I am scared of heights, to the point where I was convinced I was about to die on the Tongariro Crossing last year (though that did have more to do with the weather than the altitude).
I am also scared of flying. And this one really is irrational, because statistically, I’m safer in a plane than a car. But I don’t get sweaty palm terror in a car. I blame Wellington airport – my fear of flying only developed after I moved here and suffered a few hair-raising landings.
If I’m ever weighing up the possibility of doing an overseas event, I’d have to make sure I leave enough time to get over the flight before the race. It’s really that bad.
However, these are pretty standard fears. Really, they’re not even slightly interesting, like a clown phobia.
But my irrational habits that probably have their roots in childhood fears are a whole different story.
For example, I cannot go to sleep if my wardrobe door is open, even if it’s slightly ajar. As an adult, I have no fear that something is going to jump out of my wardrobe – given how much stuff is squeezed in there, no intruder would fit. And yet, the door still has to be closed when I go to bed. It doesn’t matter what kind of door it is. Sliding or normal door: Just close it.
I also avoid looking in mirrors in the dark, in case I end up seeing something I’d rather not. I can’t blame horror movies for this, because I have to avoid them, or sleepless nights could follow. An overactive imagination keeps me entertained, but it has its downside.
I don’t actually expect to see anything except my own face, but there's still a faint fear that anything's possible.
Thanks to similar habits of my mother, and years of covering fire and coroner’s court stories, I like to switch almost every electrical appliance off at the wall when I leave the house. That’s not irrational right? Power saving and all. Except when I get outside the door then whip back in to make sure I really did turn the stove off at the wall.
What irrational fears do you have? Or any odd behaviours that are hangovers from childhood fears? Please tell me I’m not the only one who does strange things ...
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Stairs freak me out. Not enough to stop me using them, I just have to try very hard not to imagine myself falling down them as I walk up or down. Apparently I was always very cautious on steps as a toddler, and went up/down on my hands & knees for a very long time. I blame the fact that we had a one-level house & I never got used to them! Then at uni, I started worrying about being pulled backwards by the sheer weight of books in my backpack & cracking my head open on the concrete library steps. That's still with me & I won't use stairs if I'm carrying anything more than a handbag.
Not scared of heights so much as I am scared of falling. Happy at height as long as I am safely harnessed to something. And I ENJOY Wellington airport landings, but then I like flying and planes anyway so am a bit biased (as well as possibly having slightly more of an insight into what is safe and isn't than the average passenger).
I wouldn't consider turning off electrics before going out particularly irrational. I won't leave certain things running if I leave the house either. My main fears at the moment concern the unknown and random out-of-the-blue misfortunes that you can only do so much to anticipate, particularly where my family is concerned.
Hahaha Im exactly the same with wardrobe doors and mirrors. I have to make sure that when lying in bed i cant see myself in the floor length mirror i have. I always always check the oven isnt on when i go to bed. Thats one from my mother who, while she loves making fires and is a little bit of a pyro, is terrified that someone will burn down the house.
I too am scared of flying, but I don't let it get in the way of going someplace. I figure it's the price to pay.
Earthquakes - why I choose to live in Wellington I will never know, I must know the quickest escape route when entering a building and don't like to ascend more than 4 floors.
I don't have any irrational fears but was always highly amused by my ex-in laws. They watched far too much TV, especially those "true life" type shows manufactured to instil mortal dread. They switched everything off at the wall whenever they left the house (except the fridge) and bought a paper shredder so that no one could go through their (exceptionally dull) rubbish and steal their identities. They were deathly afraid of the interwebby thing as that was obviously the gateway to moral turpitude and bankruptcy.
A bit of healthy paranoia is no bad thing but it can be taken to extremes. I don't think you have to worry at the moment, Ann.
My morbid fear of Wellingtonians is not irrational. They're vicious little buggers and it's almost impossible to get their saliva stains out in the wash :-P
And don't even get me started on those Hillbillies from the South Island ;-)
Zombies. I think it comes from sneaking into the living room one night when I was 4 to see what my parents were watching, it happened to be Dawn of the Dead. Ever since then I've been completely terffified of the idea of zombies, so much so they have haunted my nightmares ever since! Still have to turn almost every light in the house on to get a glass of water in the middle of the night.
Also scared of any bird larger than a chicken, unless it's on my dinner plate!
Haha Ann, I do exactly the same thing with wardrobe door and mirrors in the dark! I actually cannot go to sleep with the wardrobe door open - maybe I think it's going to go Narnia on me in the middle of the night and a half man/half goat will come skipping in from the other side? I also need to have the blankets covering my feet so monsters can't grab them. Crazy.
I get funny about mirrors, too. I blame Candyman though.
I can't listen to music or watch TV with the volume on an odd number. I also have to start any walk, no matter how short, on my right foot and end on my left. It used to be worse - needing an even number of steps between each crack on the footpath and having to chew the same number of times on each side of my mouth, and a few other things. I started using CBT techniques and have seen an improvement, because my irrational behaviours were kinda starting to turn into OCD.
Weirdly enough, I recently found out my brother has the same ideas about volume, except he's ok if the number ends with 5. I'm not.
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I'm afraid of those baby corns that you find in Chinese food. I can think of no rational basis for this fear, nor was I in any way traumatised by baby corn as a child.