Should penis size matter?

Last updated 05:00 25/03/2011

Since the beginning of time - since even before Adrian Mole fetched a ruler to measure his tackle - blokes have worried about the size of their penis. Ron's no different, but it's causing some angst in his relationship.

Hi,

I'm 34 and an ex-girlfriend and I get along so well and every now and then sleep together. We are very compatible except I'm a bit small downstairs.

We caught up last weekend and had a great time and we'd love to have kids together and be together but she wants to be able to have an open relationship for satisfaction purposes only. She said I would always know when and where.

I do love her like she loves me and I am keen but in the back of my head I know it's not normal.

What do you suggest?

Ron.

Aunty Agony -

No small dilemma indeed, Ron. Now while I admire your willingness to consider an open approach for the sake of your ex, I can't help but wonder if you're jumping the gun a little.

Has she told you she wants to get married and have your babies? The main reason I ask is that, if this is the case and she wants to get hitched and then knocked-up, she's going to have a hard job finding the time, let alone the energy, to carry-out other liasions.

I'm also questioning her commitment to you if she says that your small penis is a reason the relationship can't work. Let's not beat around the bush here, size is good but in this day and age there are a range of products (namely sex toys) that could help you to help her, if you get what I mean...

So, in summary here, I'm asking about her intentions. I think she's fond of you, but I'm not so sure about the "love, honour and obey" bit. If you're really keen on her, and making it work, then go ahead - try an open relationship, but don't go the whole hog and opt for marriage at the same time. Test the waters and see if it's really something you - and presumabely she (I assume you can do the same?) - can live with.

Uncle Agony -

Is it wrong that this is turning me on, just a bit? Not your small codger of course; but this talk of introducing a third party. Maybe you could even endorse this openness ... and watch it unfold. Even better, maybe flip the coin and invite in your own partner - purely for "satisfaction purposes only" of course - and maybe she'd be keen to watch, or even go as far as joining in. See where I'm going with this? Menage a trois ... problem solved?

Okay, okay ... back to your real issue:

How small is "a bit small"? We can't all be blessed with a fire hose down there bro, but what are we talking here? Batting just a little below average? Or like a teeny weeny?

I'd like to give you some reassurance. I'd love to tell you that it's not the meat, it's the motion. I should say you're "compatible" so don't get hung up on the physical aspects of the relationship. Blah, blah, friggin' blah.....

But I'm just not sure. I mean the woman has needs. Maybe if you're not as keen as her to open things up a bit, so to speak, you can buy in some help? Vibrators, dildos, other toys? Couldn't you use them together? Play time at Ron's house. Hot.

And I'm also a little (sorry mate, no pun intended) confused at why you and your ex-girlfriend are talking about having kids? Didn't you say ex? So why bother taking what appears to be a problem-free friends-with-benefits (and one where, by all accounts, you're getting more benefit than her) type of relationship and ruining it?

* We've posted our views. Now what do you think: Does size matter? Post your comments, or your own questions for Aunt and Uncle Agony, below ... or email theagonys@stuff.co.nz

- © Fairfax NZ News

195 comments
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Bobbi   #1   05:26 am Mar 25 2011

Let's not lie, most girls like a big one. Unless sex gets them sore down there, all the girls I know like feeling 'full'.

As an average man, I have learned to give a woman a good time without the use of 'it', so when 'it' does get invovled, the woman is almost there already so it's more like a nice dessert rather than the main course.

As for the relationship, that word 'ex' tells me that you two have more than a few issues with being together. Love should always, ALWAYS be unconditional. More importantly, it should be exclusive.

If she wants a baby and thinks you would be a good father, then she needs to stop thinking about sleeping around. Parenthood is more than just the result of sex, it is a decision to settle down and raise the next generation of people.

Bottom line, either keep each other as just an emotional/physical outlet as you two are now or tell her to choose between having fun in the sack and having a real, long term relationship.

PS. Sex toys rock!

P.O.D.   #2   06:01 am Mar 25 2011

Size does matter. Over the years girlfriends have taken great joy in the size of my tackle and commented on how previous partners have failed to measure up. But size on it's own isn't enough. You must know how to use it to give her the pleasure she wants/needs.

Wendy   #3   06:16 am Mar 25 2011

I can't resist this one. The size of ones penis should not really matter unless it is indeed that small. Men do tend to think their john thomas is smaller than the norm. Kids and a relationship? You guys are no more than friends with benefits. I think her clock ticking and you just happen to be there. At some point jealously and distrust will come into play if you do have kids and some sort of relationship and there must be a reason she is an ex.If she needs to go somewhere else it's not right. Having her cake and all that.

Bob   #4   06:38 am Mar 25 2011

Why is size always about the guy being too small? tell her you agree to the open relationship and say you want to shag someone narrower than the Terrace tunnel - see how far equal rights goes then!

ddub   #5   07:00 am Mar 25 2011

umm.. ok very random!

Beks   #6   07:11 am Mar 25 2011

I can't believe Stuff has stooped this low... How is this news? Especially when the questions seem created by the authors?

DanM   #7   07:14 am Mar 25 2011

Good notorious question to start a blog with and gain a following, will easily lead the comments board today. Size does matter, more so to men. They get so caught up about it that it becomes a big deal whether their woman is bothered about it or not. I would say size matters to a majority of women too, regardless of what they tell their man.

To the situation mooted - tough call. There is one woman I would do that for, one I want to be with more than anyone else and would allow pretty much anything for and from. This being said, I wouldn't allow it before exploring all other avenues, different methods, positions etc. If you're not very well endowed, toys are a good option. Above all, talk to her, be completely open and honest about everything, about being uncomfortable with it, about why you're uncomfortable.

Pete   #8   07:27 am Mar 25 2011

Drivel. Absolute drivel. Clearly a made up question. Who comes up with this rubbish?

christine   #9   07:28 am Mar 25 2011

Yes and no. Size doesnt matter if you are a little over or below average. But when we are talking those unfortunates that were blessed with a teeny-weeny - size definately matters. Generally speaking women like to feel full and it ain't happening with a teeny weeny. There is also such a thing as too big as well. I don't want a horse coming near me thanks - ouch!

Myself   #10   07:36 am Mar 25 2011

You are not husband/father material to her. She only wants you when SHE wants you. That is a one-sided relationship, and you are a doormat. Time to move on and find someone else who actually cares about you. The size thing is just an excuse and a put down at the same time. You sound like a whipping boy, man up and move on, she is an EX-girlfriend.


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