My wife blogged about her lovers and left

20:11, Sep 15 2011

This week we share the story of "Broken", a father whose wife not only cheated but blogged about her male conquests online. Keep your problems coming to theagonys@stuff.co.nz - no dilemma is too big or small.

A year and a half ago I went through a messy marriage break-up. My wife of nearly 10 years left, leaving me with the kids, stating at the time that she felt "trapped" and wasn't happy.

I discovered after she had left that she had been (repeatedly) unfaithful, and only waited two days before finding someone else to keep her bed warm. She even started a blog detailing all the guys she was picking up, with meticulous detail.

Since then I have tried to move on, but deep inside I'm still hung up on the wench. She moved on so very fast but there is a part of me that still cares for her, even though she discarded me like a used tissue.

I've been depressed as hell, being a solo dad makes it hard to get out there and find someone, and the only time I've gotten close to someone it turned out that I was only being used to make someone else jealous.

I keep getting told "One day you will meet someone", but it never seems to happen.

I'm nearing giving up on trying to find love. I tried the usual dating sites, pubs and clubs but I'm not the most socially inclined person, it's really hard for me to talk to someone I don't know and I really don't trust easily anymore.

I've always tried to be a nice guy, but as it seems most women I encounter seem to prefer the jerks. Maybe I should take this path, even if it's not really me.

Broken

Uncle replies:

She's a skank mate. And a cyber skank to boot. Fancy blogging about her conquests, jeez.....

Firstly, kneel down before your bed, clasp your hands in front of your chest, look to the sky and then thank the good Lord above that you're rid of this woman.

Secondly, stop looking for love and just settle for a decent shag. That's not as hard to find and could always end up blossoming into something bigger, or even just another shag...

Thirdly, stop confusing those lingering feelings for anything other than habit. Fair enough - 10 years is a long time. But let's face it, you wouldn't have her back, if only because of the disease risk.

Lastly, please don't be depressed. You've got kids and a wench-free life to remain thankful for.

All the best.

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Aunty replies:

You're depressed and I bet that is what's holding you back. However I'm struggling to understand why you still fancy getting back with her after all the cheating she has done. I think you should show some respect for yourself by moving on - you obviously don't have any for her anyway, referring to her as a "wench".

Yes, you've been heartbroken and disrespected and deserve to be angry, but you need to find a way to move on. Ignore Uncle's advice. Endless shagging isn't going to help you get over this. Your self-esteem is at rock bottom and you don't need the games.

I suggest you take it easy. Stop searching and do what you enjoy. Put yourself first for a change and let everything else take care of itself.

A happier you will help clear the path to love because you'll be radiating positivity and women will want to be around you - don't forget the man drought has also stacked the odds in your favour. 

- Tell us what you think by commenting below.

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