What's on a cat's mind?

20:32, Jun 27 2013

Cats are mysterious, I've heard it said. Inscrutably plotting. Unreadably pursuing hidden agendas. Yet sometimes their faces tell a clear story.

Mahela's face says "Don't touch, else you'll find out what my claws can do to finest leather."

Oskar's saucer eyes tell us that the noise and smell of this cat show are too, too much. "Can't I win it now and go home?"

Ginger: "I'm a perfect specimen of lustrous russet beauty, so don't you dare mention my freckles. Also, my name is pronounced to rhyme with 'finger', so get that right."

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Katie: "I am symmetrical monochrome perfection. So don't you dare mention my freckles."

Cassie: "I won't sleep anywhere with less than a 600 thread count."

Brulee: "Look into my eyes, you are sleepy, sleepy .. you wish to alter your will in my favour ... sleepy, sleepy but obedient..."

Frankie merely wonders why windows always have to be closed.

Ruby: "Read my lip - where's the Fancy Feast?"

Shayde's face (left) is undoubtedly a demand for privacy during the next stage of self-grooming. Cloud's innocent expression may be read as "My butt warmer is making odd sounds, please fix."

Max: "Freeview? I think not. You must certainly pay."

You need this chair? Molly has a mocking "ha ha" for you.

Bebe has a shaggy-cat story to tell.

Joshie performs the death scene from Camille - hanky needed.

Iggy is dad's defender and protector.

Charlie and Baxter: "Give us a minute to get organised, then take your picture."

Ron seems to be getting a telling off. But how does that work? He isn't old enough to have done anything wrong...

The biggest eyes you'll see today - those of Pancho Villa. Pancho lives strictly indoors and even has his own Twitter account promoting indoor cat-keeping to protect native birds.

Thomas lost a leg (car accident) when he was a year old, but according to his human companion Wendy, "He is such a loving and trusting animal, everyone who meets him falls in love with him." And his face seems to say "love me".

Mikey is the Tony Soprano of his garden. Capisce?

Charlie and Louie: "Look! It snowed!"

Scooter, too, has an issue with tissues - and ripping them up is so tiring.

You can't see Cloudy's face but I'm guessing it shows alarmed delight, or delighted alarm. A trampoline cancels out all of a cat's elegance.

Frankie's intentions are plain.

"No, I don't perform for the camera," says the remarkably patterned Jessie.

Pippi's message: "I am currently in heaven, please address all queries to my assistant."

Snoopy: "Leave it open. And I need more socks."

Kitten: "Is this railing up to code? Hand me my tape measure."

Mr Puss Puss wants to know which shelf the biscuits are on.

Not so much a facial expression, but nonetheless a powerful message of satisfaction from Lola.

Finally, pure, symmetrically freckled bliss from Loki. Do not, on any account, disturb.

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