Furry Friday: Pet stardom
Does your pet crave stardom? Does it wish to be an internet sensation, or even break into TV and movies? Of course it does. And it can happen.
But you'll have to make sure it follows some vital signposts on the well-trotted-on road to pet fame.
Watch and learn, star-chaser.
First, cultivate an image. It doesn't mattter what kind of image, just be sure you look cool in your publicity shot. (George)
Lighting, pose and setting are crucial. Also, have a stunning haircut. (Yogi)
Let the world see the confident ambition in your eyes. (Moglet)
Profiles are good. (Bear)
Dramatic profiles are excellent. (Mila)
Fuzzy, whiskery profiles are okay. (Blue)
Wear your age with pride - there are still good roles available in Hollywood for females over 8. (Bella)
Stare that camera down. (Lou)
Fill the frame with character. (Colin)
Give yourself a classy setting. (Lil Grey)
Remember to comb your face. (Gracie Gray)
Look the lens in the eye. (Chilli)
Fear not the closeup. (Lily)
If you're kind of fuzzy in real life, ensure that at least your eye is in focus. (Lulu)
Show that you can play dead. (Kiva)
Practise your sexiest look. (A bit of carpet fluff is acceptable.) (Molly)
If the casting couch comes into play, try to occupy all of it. (Jake)
Don't get pigeonholed. (No name)
Assert your right to privacy... (Lisa)
...because the paparazzi will be there to capture your most vulnerable moments. (Jeff)
Submit to the makeup artiste. (Manicure, pedicure, same thing.) (Yuki)
Never drive yourself. (Woolie)
Live fast. (Wren and Millie)
Rock your star accessories. (Molly again)
Your world will be full of luxury. (Maya)
Everything will be larger than life. (Aloysius)
But you'll need to stay young and beautiful. (Ted)
And shun cocaine. (Ollie)
Just keep dreaming. (Omar)
Yes, stardom is hard work. (Pip)
But one day you'll star on the screen. (No name)
Above all else, own every scene. Never let yourself be upstaged. (Riley and Gordie, or it could be Garry)
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