I am a useless poser, in the photographic sense. When a camera is pointed at me, I do all the wrong things - let the upper eyelids drop, open the mouth as though breathing through it, flick the eyes around shiftily and generally tense up. As a result, I usually look something like this in photos.
But the internet teaches that there are proper ways of posing. There is the famous duck face, which tautens your jawline and inflates your lips. There is squinching, where you clench the bit under your eyes to make you look sexily sceptical. There is smizing, where you follow seven simple steps (seven!) in order to smile with part of your head while being "elusive and playful" with the rest.
It's so mannered and complicated. I'm surprised that, with all that concentration on squinching and smizing, most supermodels aren't constantly, you know, squitzing in their pants. Or maybe they are, off camera, and that's what they mean when they say modelling "is such hard work".
My point is, pets don't have to do any of this. Their posing is natural and continuous.
Behold Mr Pickles' smile...
... and Charlie's grin.
Snickers' shock at being papped.
Parker's perfect horizon-gaze.
Amber's joy rises when the leash comes off.
Archer can't believe it: that whole field, just for me?
Now a subcollection that records the particular expressiveness of the blue cat - starting with Boo, who likes you, to an extent.
Mabel is too gorgeous to look directly at you.
Lochie is currently captain of the couch. Problem with that?
Humphrey's eyes are fields of dreams.
Someone get that birthday candle out of the way - Ella's hungry.
Bailey's soft toy used to be a character holding a heart-shaped pillow. Now, after normal wear and tear, only the heart is left - which makes for a sweet picture.
Buddy waits for his first lesson in reversing.
Lulu is so ladylike...
... whereas Zac doesn't always observe social graces.
Kyza has mastered the skill of upright sleeping.
Chef is a gentle puppy of Pitbull and Shar Pei heritage.
Gretel and Heidi demonstrate what happens when you squinch too much.
Marbles pretends you're not there. Perhaps she's miffed that her name is a reference to a classic Seinfeld episode rather than something plain like Socks!
It's poses like Miss Kona's that give cats a reputation for a certain smugness.
Molly responds to the camera's attention.
Izzy practises the Sphinx pose. Well, the one where the Sphinx looks over its shoulder.
Oscar gives you the smallest possible measure of attention.
Tyra Banks would forswear hair extensions to be able to smolder like Tinker Bell.
Have you noticed that today's collection features some stunning eye colours? Get a load of Harry's.
Shelby's eyes are wok-sized.
A cool (in more than once sense) selfie by Gypsy.
Tess needs no preparation for her closeup.
For Loki, this is either bliss or sleep. Actually, the two are closely related.
Kelcie is huggable.
Honey's expression is part delight, part disappointment - the cabbage effect.
Finally, the pure and unaffected gorgeousness of Komodo, going strong at 13 years of age.
Thanks to all for posting your photos. Please email me your own photos, or go to the Four Legs Good Facebook page and use the Upload Photo button. While you're there, browse through the thousands of photos that readers have posted by clicking the Photos link.