My read on it based on only what you've written, and some guessing, is that you haven't stuffed it up because it was never going to happen anyway.

You're likely being used because you're convenient and probably nice enough to be considered harmless.

Soon you will be relegated to being that nice guy she complains to about her ex druggie gambling drinking (insert vice here) boyfriend because he stole her shoes and sold them on trademe.

Run far far away unless you're content to be "in the friend zone" with somebody you fancy.

Took my boyfriend and I three months before we have the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation! We both knew it was going well but I guess we just thought that we didnt need to label the relationship. People get too hung up on 'labels' and knowing where the relationship is going, I think a relaxed attitute is the way to go, no point rushing anything and scaring the other person off.

Yeah it was a stupid question to ask that relatively early on. Its probably a question that should never be asked outright anyway. In my limited experience she'll tell you when you are.

On the positive side, she didn't say "no". I'd say forget you asked the question, and carry on as if you hadn't. Although to counter that I should point out that I'm single and have zero current prospects of that changing. So maybe you should do the exact opposite to anything I think.

I don't think it was too soon. From what i understand, you stayed the night, and i imagine that this took place over at least a week.

While i probably would have gone on a "so would you like to go on a proper date" type conversation rather than "am i your boyfriend" just to keep things casual.

To be honest, i'ld love a guy like you who isn't afraid to ask/doesn't want to be "just friends" (with benefits) and if this girl strings you along much longer (a few weeks) without "putting a label on it" (dating, boyfriend, whatever) then i wouldn't put too much effort in.

Along the lines of Leon #1's comment of "is that you haven't stuffed it up because it was never going to happen anyway."

You've done the right things up until now, so keep doing them and you never know. The worst that could happen is Leon's vision.

OK... so your at this point. I think you need to make your self slightly unavailable. I know, I know - don't play games. But think this girl needs to realise what she is missing out on!

I'm sorry but I think I have to agree with leon on this one.

It maybe didn't help that you didn't take steps to establish set outings as dates and make your intentions known. Theres no sense dwelling on whats already been said you should get it over with and ask her to do something specific as a date.. as in do you want to go out for dinner on tuesday? if she says no, evades the question or blows you off then forget her and move on.

Girls admire a little confidence, you don't have to be arrogant or a jerk but the confidence to say "I really like you, would you like to go have a drink/dinner sometime?" goes a long way. The worst she can do is say no after all and most single girls won't.

As for the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.. I have sort of been seeing someone for almost two weeks now and have been questioned by plenty of people (including our mutual friends) if we are together and the answer is I don't know but I really like him and we'll see how it goes, I've made several jokes about my lack of facebook status change.

If the girl in the letter doesn't want him, then I will totally have him!

Tash#4: Actually when I read the very carefully worded "we watched a movie with mutual friends cuddling on the couch, then went back to her place and stayed the night" I didn't see anything in there that told me that he actually got any action. So I'm making the opposite assumption, being that he got blue balls.

I suspect that the original poster will appear, and correct one or ther other of us :) I will be interested to see which one of us is correct.

Yo

I am a happily married man in my mid 20's, and i've got some useful advise for ya, the best thing you can do at your stage is step it down a notch, what said is said, move on and if you like this girl, continue to hang with her, if she seems stand off'ish try not to read into it to much, at the end of the day if nothing evenuates then just think "her loss" cause it probably is.

And to really be a legend, once things start to pick up again, if she asks you out for coffee or something, turn her down (girl's want what they can't have), then later on when she contacts you again, just act all casual about it (but not too casual)