Are you anti-fat?
When the law changed regarding cellphone use in cars, a friend of mine was delighted for unusual reasons. As a chain smoker he said "finally, people who use cellphones in cars will once day be pilloried as a disgrace, much the same ways smokers are. They'll be blamed for all the accidents, and no one will care about smokers anymore."
I'm not too sure that the law change has been quite that apocalyptic in terms of cellphone-in-the-car users, but I do understand that drive to point the finger at someone else if you're a target. It's human nature to take the heat off yourself, by making someone else the scapegoat.
In an essay in the New York Times last week the writer talked about the rise of the "anti-fat" - those people who are publicly nasty to people who are overweight and obese, and make rude comments. (Ironically it makes mention of Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign. Her husband, who eats well, apparently struggles to break his nicotine habit.)
I have actually managed to live most of my life fairly unscarred by comments made by others - though when my book came out last year, and I was first on camera, the following day on a busy messageboard I read post after post of people arguing whether I (or any other fat person) was able to be called attractive if they are overweight. Part of me was mortified as it was about me, and the other fascinated by what people were actually saying.
When writing my book Eighty Eight Dates, I heard many stories of women who were told by men they were too fat to be attractive (often followed by an offer to have sex with them regardless as if the direct blow to their confidence might have helped them get into the mood). I've heard women say that one of the first insults a guy uses if he feels rebuffed is one commenting on their weight. It's the standard insult, probably because it works.
I know people who take photos of obese people in public eating or wearing unflattering clothes and post them on social networking sites. It's a surefire way to get a pile of people to make comments about someone they don't know and what they must eat or do to get to that size. So much of it is hearsay. Who's to say it wasn't the one weekly treat they have while trying to drop the kilos, or that it's their birthday, or some such thing? Imagine them finding their picture on some random's Facebook page, reading all the comments people have made, passing judgement.
One of the Blog Idol guys last week did a blog on fat people and there was an explosion of comments about it. And the magazines love having shots of famous people who get fat because people buy magazines to see people who are meant to have amazing lives, choosing to use them to chow down enough food to get into the next size up of grey sweatpants, just so a paparazzi photographer can snap them.
With over 65 per cent of women in New Zealand size 14 or over, that's a lot of people for chubby haters to have to dislike. And is it really like that? Is it a little like the old racism thing (you know, the whole "No, of course I'm not racist, I have Asian friends") or is it more overt, something that people talk about over dinner (salad of course) when fat people are not in earshot, or yell out as insults when they pass a chubster in the street?
I can tell you that it gives me an interesting perspective on why smokers find it hard to quit. I find listening to (or reading the comments of) the anti-fatters pretty full-on at times. And if I wasn't in a good place at the moment, seeing changes and knowing I'm doing a good thing, well then yes it might be enough for me to reach for a block of chocolatey goodness to block it out a little. I can only imagine what it's like for a smoker to feel hated and on the outer all the time, because they have an addiction they can't shake.
Banning and blocking, baiting and barbs don't help most people change. If the anti-fat brigade grows, then will it make the nation thinner? Or will people react by just eating up the message along with an extra burger before bedtime?
Have you ever felt someone treated you differently because of your weight? Or have you judged someone's ability because they are obese? Do you think it makes them look less able, less attractive, less sorted?
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It's a hard thing to admit but I would have to say I see fat people as perhaps not as smart as thinner people, and that in itself is stupid, isn't it?.
I've had people made fun of someone fat right in front of me when I weighed a lot more than I do now. It was like... being invisible. A horrible feeling. Like what can you even do then? I think I just laughed along. So many hateful things had been said to me by everyone- including "friends" and family. It's almost like being heavy means you aren't even a human being anymore in the eyes of some people.
I will not put up with this anymore, that's just unacceptable to me. It's like being fat is so stigmatized that we don't even stick up for ourselves, even if we aren't fat anymore because we don't even want to be associated with fatness. I don't care what my weight is- if you say something vicious about a fat person, you are disparaging ME. I'm the same person now as I was much heavier. And I'll tell you a secret: fat people have feelings. Feeling bad about myself only made me fatter and fatter. The only way to make a positive lifestyle change is to love yourself enough to want it.
I'm not saying let's all be politically correct and we can't express anything funny that might be remotely offensive. I actually really like offensive humor. But what I'm talking about is the vile hatred that accompanies these remarks. It is dangerous. Just as dangerous as racism or sexism because it makes hatred OK. Hatred is what leads to hate crimes.
Some people are addicted to food - a lot of people, not just obese people. And heroin addicts are treated with more respect.
There are also plenty of fat AND THIN people with eating disorders.
And plenty of fat AND THIN people who just never learned to eat right.
And plenty of fat AND THIN people who eat too much greasy, fatty, sugary food and do nothing but watch television.
And plenty of fat AND THIN people with a medical condition or injury.
My point is that yes, obesity is a result of lifestyle. But it is the very lifestyle we are all pushed into at every turn. Only some of us don't have the metabolism to handle a life of overeating and doing nothing physical. Some of us gain weight as we age, even though we made no change to our diets. I used to eat the portion that was served to me at restaurants, as did all my friends, fat AND THIN.
If you want to judge someone because you think they are lazy and eat too much, you can't tell who those people are just by looking.
There seems to be a link in people's mind between skinny and healthy. They're not the same thing - in fact they're very much independent variables
For example, the people in the "over weight" BMI range have the lowest mortality rate -- they're less likely to die in the next year than those in the lower of the BMI ranges. Correlation doesn't imply causation, but it does through doubt doubt on the ideal of being in the "healthy" BMI range.
Likewise, obesity does not reliably predict many of the illnesses that the media trumpets as being caused by obesity. They don't even correlate. Check out this peer reviewed study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition where they compared weights on the US's death certificate database. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19190072
If someone wants to be skinny for their own reasons, all the power to them. The shaming of other people, and the condescending "I'm concerned for your heath" crap is.. well.. CRAP.
Ive spent a lot of my life being made fun of and cruelly teased because of my larger size. It has made my self esteem and self confidence pretty much non-existant and it sucks!!
Several years ago, I was what you would have called overweight (sz16). I was never taunted, or stared at (that I know of!) but yes I would say to a certain degree shopkeepers and the likes would treat me a little 'different'. Years on I am a size 10-12 and the attention I now get is amazing, especially from the opposite sex. I feel like I am treated with more respect now, which is sad as I am still the same person. At the end of the day, basic human instinct overrides the rational thought that the overweight really are the same as those who are not.
Yes, yes, and yes. I have alway been openly picked on, usually by strangers, for being fat, I judge my own ability because I am overweight (and believe others are thinking the same), and I do think being fat is less desirable. One of the reasons I beat myself up over it is because it's not an attractive trait in the opposite sex for me (hence, why should I expect the opposite sex to overlook that trait in me). I've also recently had someone who I otherwise highly respect and is the lovliest person in the world make some rather unhelpful comments that could only be interpreted as 'if you weren't so fat it could be you up there getting married' (thanks a lot to that person for confirming the voices in my head are speaking the truth! Not that I needed or wanted to hear it). My favourite comment is from boys who have overlooked the issue enough to become someone special, but try and 'tactfully' say 'you have a really pretty face, but you could lose some weight, not that I mind though', ugh.
I would, however, never be openly disdainful of fat people, but am 'guilty' of doing so for smokers. My being fat doesn't impose that unhealthiness on others, however walking down the street inhaling someone's cigarette secondhand is both disgusting and extremely unhealthy, so I feel entirely justified! ;-)
I am guilty of being a "fatist", or a "slothist". It annoys me to see inactive people, who do little or no exercise, eat too much and of the wrong type of food.... then complain when they don't look as good as they want to/could. Sure there are always exceptions, people with disorders, gene issues etc. But the vast majority of people who are overweight eat too much and don't exercise enough! Next time you're at Pak&Save check out what's in people's trolleys... then check out the condition of the people pushing it. You can make all the exuses in the world for being fat... but for 90%+ of overweight people it is a simple equation Energy in minus Energy expended = weight increase/decrease
Having only maxed out 31kg above goal, I have received two comments about my weight, while at goal I've only received one negative comment about my weight, about 20 years ago. In your question about being less able, attractive, less sorted, the answer has to be "yes", Is a 300kg person less able, attractive, sorted? Probably. As people increase in weight, those qualities diminish. Of course you can have a slim person who is not able, attractive, nor sorted, but that's not what you're asking.
PS sorry those people said those things about you. I'm guessing Trademe's message board. I've always thought the average IQ there was less than 100, but who is being judgemental now?
fat = ugly, simple - dry your eyes, put the big mac down and get to the gym, easy
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Your blogs are fantastic. Captain Awesome could learn a few things from you!