My fear was of reality. I didnt want to address my weight and eating problems, because that would mean admitting that I was over weight. That scared me into silence, depressing me and as a result I got bigger and bigger. And the bigger I got, the more depressed I got. It was a vicious cycle.

I had to address the depression first to break the cycle. I had to change my perception of my weight gain. Positive affirmation was and is my best friend. I am not a disappointment or a failure just because I am bigger than I would prefer to be. And focussing on the other things I do well also helps my depression, and therefore my weight loss. Finding the confidence to do things like volunteering, having a personal trainer at the gym and finding out how strong I am, and learning new skills all go towards better mental health and better physical health.

I think that our minds and out waistbands are so closely linked. And the biggest thing I have learned is how important it is to continue to proactively challenge yourself, both physically and mentally.

I'm hearing you - bungy jumped as a scrawny 15 year old but couldn't bring myself to do it again at 23...the list of fears (and my weight) has grown exponentially since I hit 30 and had a child. I can now think of about 500 reasons why I shouldn't lose weight - the biggest one that haunts me is all the helpful people who say "but aren't you happy? Isn't that what's important?" Well yeah happiness is important but I want to still be happy at 40 and 50 and 80 not battling with all of the weight related health problems I could develop in that time!

My brain is telling me 'but if I loose the required 30kg I'll be like a twig with bones poking out'. In reality, when I loose those 30kg, my BMI will be 25.5 so I clearly won't be a twig. I guess the only way to really know though is to get to my goal and see for myself! Bring on the carrots....

I'm just having to face facts that I need to make it part of my daily routine. I am working on making myself go for a jog everyday as part of a normal day. I want it to feel weird when i don't. Otherwise if I aim for 3x a week then I slack off and end up saying 'i'll do it tomorrow..' yeah right ;p

While I agree with your blog on how fears can undermine your best laid plans and a positive mental attitude helps conquer them, I disagree that weight loss IS just about calories in, calories out. It is way more complex then that and goes beyond just the mental attitudes. Of course eating less calories then you burn there will be a result in a weight loss. I have lost so much weight over the years that I would be paper thin, however, my body just comes right back up to around the same weight over time. You might be lead to believe it is just because I got back into old eating habits but there has been reports on how our bodies do not like us loosing the weight it deems to be protecting ones body and that is when the hard work really starts. Trying to tell your body it can let go of the weight for good. Mahina, comment #1 is on the button. Keep up the good work Rachael and your blog as I am sure getting it out there in the open is really helping others who are on the same quest :0)

My mum had gastric banding and she hs said the surprising thing to her was how little you atually need to eat in order to live. And I've noticed how much less you eat after a while- Our whole family is fat, and has been since my great, great grandmother in her wedding photo in 1910.... She also said she never believed the dieticians etc when they said she over ate- she only had three meals a day, and the plate was never piled high....

SO there's perspecive for you- she looks at food in a whole new way now it isn't an addiction...

For me it's been a matter of finding my "stubborn streak". My partner and I got married in May this year. As I was making my frock, I purposely made it 2 sizes too small. I had my motivation - I HAD to fit the frock, so I started slowly reducing the amount of food I was eating, while still being healthy and began biking for at least an hour a day. From January to May, I lost 12 kilos AND fitted into the frock. Since the wedding, I find I'm not so hungry and don't need the sweet stuff any more and have pretty much stayed with the same eating regime. Winter has meant not much biking but I am doing 30 mins of walking instead. I am continuing to lose weight and it is now 15 kilos since the beginning of the year. I now like how I feel, being lighter and clothes feeling loose, so I find it easy to continue. Plus new hubby is most impressed!!!I guess I'm still overweight, but I'm heading in the right direction and it feels good.

I agree with you whole-heartedly on this. Gainign a new perspective and, on the other side of things, breaking routine is key to weight loss. Im feelign inspired now...these last 5kgs will now be my nemesis! Thanks, Rach.

"My mum had gastric banding and she hs said the surprising thing to her was how little you atually need to eat in order to live"

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you actually need a lot of food to live, something in the order of 2000 to 2500 calories a day, wikipedia the katch-mccardle formula to see. Thinking you don't need a lot of food is a dangerous mindset to have.

The reason your mother doesn't need to eat a lot is why the gastric banding is so successful, namely the shortfall in calories is consumed from the energy the body already carries. The stomach's smaller size tricks the body into being full, but it has no effect on the body's energy requirements which don't change. The problem is this, when she gets to a normal size and can't make up the shortfall anymore, she'll start needing more energy and naturally need to eat more. But since she can't eat what she used to, where does the energy come from? And if she can eat what needs to, will she eat properly or like she used to?

As wonderful as this no doubt is for your mother's health, and as nasty as it sounds, if she doesn't learn to eat properly then she'll just put it all back on eventually.

Rachel, I disagree that there are fresh perspectives, there's only the truth: Exercise and proper nutrition a healthy person makes.

First of all, I'm not expert, but some of the comments here do sound alarming. 'how little you actually need to eat in order to live' - is dependent, I think I've heard experts say, on how active your lifestyle is or isn't.

Plus, interpretation of this theory may lead those more impressionable to think they can eat food lower on the scale of healthy (ie fast food), so long as they don't eat much of it. I reckon moderation in plate size and nutritious food is better than a little amount of 'less healthy' food.

Calories in calories out is a very simplified way of putting it. Young impressionable girls might read it to mean, "ok, lets stop the calories going in = weight loss", via eating problems.

It's not that these comments are wrong, but if taken out of context, they can disillusion.

I put on 15 lbs pretty much upon setting foot in the USA, and tried and failed to use diet as a means to lose it. Then four months ago we got a dog, which meant I started walking every day. Wham, lost 5 lbs in a month. Since then, a change in lifestyle meant I started cooking more and put the 5 lbs back on, because the food I made was so tasty and rich and I ate too much of it! This experience allowed me to learn that the only way I'm going to lose weight is by eating more nutritious food and combining that with consistent exercise.