It's moments like these...
Everyone likes a cutesy animal story. Loyal canines who find their way home to their masters after years in the "wilderness". Everything from puppies rescued from certain sewerage pipe doom by be-gloved (and hopefully nose-plugged) drainage blokes to baby elephants in holes. Cross-species adoptions (awhhhh). You know the usual "I feel my brittle carapace of an exterior cracking under the overwhelming cuteness onslaught" media-friendly tales. I mean, there's even a pet blog on this site now. People love their animals (and in certain states in the U S of A it's not even illegal - heartwarming).
But I need a little bit more from an animal story. I'm looking for an animal with moxie, street smarts, a mischievous and possibly subversive streak. Allow me to introduce Minty.
Minty is a capuchin monkey (like that irritating creature that Ross had on Friends) and she's on the run. Minty has run away. Minty is here to stay. Minty has found a home...with a garden. Well, we don't actually know where Minty is but I like to think that she just got sick of all the pressures of her busy monkey life and needed a little "me time". The family politics. The constant grooming. The worrying about whether or not the other monkeys thought she was eating too much. Minty, if she has any sense, is putting her feet up with packet of squiggle-tops and the latest NW. Maybe she heard that Clooney was coming back in the last season of ER and just had to get herself somewhere with a flatscreen?
I love that in the story she is described as a "little brown monkey" and people are encouraged to dob her in contact authorities if they see her. I can just imagine the following exchange taking place in suburban Christchurch:
Mrs: Love, what kind of monkey was it that escaped from the zoo?
Mr: A cappuchino one, I think.
Mrs: What's that look like then?
Mr: Says here it's "little" and "brown". Why?
Mrs: Oh, just there's a monkey hanging from the washing line, dear.
Mr: Well is it a cappuchino one?
Mrs: I don't think so. It's quite big with black fur. Shall we call someone?
Mr: No, love, I wouldn't worry. It'll just be one of the neighbourhood monkeys. It'll go home when it's hungry.
Mrs: Yes, no doubt you're right but I hope it doesn't fling its poo at my nice clean sheets.
I think it's safe to assume that any kind of monkey spotted "on the loose" in Christchurch is one you should be making a phone call about. So, do you think Minty is the new Jin the Otter? If you were a monkey on the lam where would you go and what kind of monkey-business would you get up to?
Picture: Don Scott/The Press
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If I was a monkey on the loose, well, I would just go ape. First, I'd head off to Banana Republic whereupon, on discovering that they don't actually sell bananas, I'd be off to the nearest fruit and veg, followed by a bit of casual swinging.
Actually, it was a capuchin monkey in Night at the Museum who was the scene stealer. He made Marcel (Ross' monkey) look like a complete wannabe.
We watched a capuchin at Auckland Zoo. He was using a half an onion as a deodorant, then entertained himself by using the Niri Tacen method of relaxation. Quite compelling viewing, but confusing for the little children (whose parents hustled them away quite quickly when it became apparent quite what form of entertainment the monkey was enjoying!) Cheeky little monkey.
To be honest, seeing as this is the second time she has escaped, the zoo should take a step back and realise that this monkey REALLY does not want to be in a cage. And fair enough too, I say.
I would then take a moment to do a wee touchdown victory dance along the fence where all the other monkeys could see me.
Then I would do is contact Amnesty International - and advise them that my brothers and I were being held without trial or charges in a prison. Admittedly a very nice prison but a prison none-the less.
This would be followed up by a media conference, talkshow rounds, interviews with John Campbell and that Sainsbury chap. Finally an exclusive interview with 60 Minutes, and then an exclusive interview with 20/20.
The resulting book tour and multi-million dollar film deal would have to be followed by a nap.
I bet it's in Edgeware, there is a home there that has some sexy cats and a lot of monkeys that like to indulge in iffy pursuits like snorting Bolivian marching powder. Harmar, meet Minty
It was legal in Washington State up until one guy who was quite fond of horses 'went and ruined it for everybody else', haha.
The article states that she escaped a year ago too. She's obviously got some kind of annual appointment that she can't miss. God love a punctual monkey.
WE. DONT. NEED. ANYMORE. MONKEES.
He escaped from Willowbank so I imagine he hasn't made to Manchester street to get some action.
Have they tried the airport? Maybe he's just trying to get home.
Poor little monkey. :-(
Hi all.
I hope Minty is curled up somewhere nice and warm, with nice curtains and not too messy.
PS- this new name is kind of cool. Might keep it.
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I used to think Monkeys were so cute, until I was in Indonesia and they bared their fangs at me. If I saw Minty in my garden (thank goodness I dont live in Chch) - id s**t myself.