Prepare for the worst
Apparently pessimists tend not to live as long as those with a more sunny attitude (which is probably no surprise to them since they almost certainly saw that coming). Every time I read a report about this kind of study I find myself wondering which I might be and, though I hate to admit it, I think that I might be headed for an ever-so-slightly earlier grave. Certainly my motto has always been "hope for the best but prepare for the worst", well that and "tomato sauce on everything, please".
But I like to think that my pessimism might just be a side effect of having a good imagination. It seems I do have a bit of a gift for conjuring up elaborate "scenarios of doom". This was never more apparent than last week when I found myself contemplating jumping out the window.
This desire to defenestrate myself was not a result of me hearing about the potential impending nuptials of Russell Brand (as upsetting as that is). For some reason, while I was at work I started idly pondering escape from the building in case of fire. Despite the fact that my desk is the closest one to the fire exit, I felt the need to consider other possible means of egress should this one be cut off in a "filled with smoke and flame" kind of way.
Hence the window being an option. Since, like those in many offices, our windows don't really open this involved picturing me picking up my office chair and smashing merry heck out of the window. I even went so far as to imagine potential "tangling issues" with the venetian blinds (oh, how I hate you, venetians).
This somewhat morbid plan continued the next day as it was difficult to judge from inside whether I could jump from the ledge of my first floor office window without major injury. So when I arrived at work the next day I did a bit of an appraisal of height and landing surface from outside. The verdict? Distinct possibility of broken bones if not head injury depending on the type of landing and I'm now of the opinion that there should definitely be more shrubs planted around buildings, or maybe some soft bark chip...or a moat. I decide that my chances would be greatly improved if I keep a rope ladder stashed in the bottom drawer of my desk. This seems like a fairly sensible precaution and is not without precedent. After all, I do have emergency chocolate in the top drawer.
Despite the studies that say that this sort of negative-focused thinking is bad for my constitution, I like to think that it might one day save my life or maybe even someone elses. On one level it's all a bit silly but survivors of disasters are often those that don't panic when unexpected things happen, people who, instead of standing around like stunned mullets, actually make quick, crucial decisions. I'm planning on that being me. I'm just getting my decisions made prior to the event.
So, as usual, I'm wondering just how psychotic and weird this makes me. Do you ever run your own mental worst case scenario action plan? Do you always count the number of rows to the emergency exit on a plane? And is this really pessimism or just prudent planning? If anyone wants me I'll be out buying a rope ladder...
Follow NZStuffBlogs on Twitter and get fast updates on all Stuff's blogs.
Sponsored links
Newest First
Oldest First
Good god! I guess this is what people who don't like sport and competition think abouit all day....when I am going to get unlucky? I myself think "hopefully it's gunna be a good day". Different strokes I guess.
This is about the only blog going today! The others are all slackers lol.
Its not so much that I'm a pessimist but the idea of being actually old (I mean over seventy) is very unappealing considering all the stuff old people have to put up with. I will be more than happy to pop my clogs than to stick around.
As for escape.. from work I'm pretty screwed... Both my work places (I have two offices.. this makes me sound more important than I actually am) getting out if there was a fire or an earthquake is likely next to impossible. Pretty safe from Tsunami though. The only escape from the room I am in now is through the kitchen down the stairs through the rabbit warren and out the front onto the street. Our windows don't open. At my other office there are seven flights of stairs to navigate with at least a hundred other people to find an escape, thankfully the building is a massive ugly lump of concrete so it won't burn that well.
Never really thought about escaping anywhere else. I rarely fly but if the airplane is going to crash I won't need an escape just a body bag... now thats pessimism surely.
I found myself in a similar situation shortly after the tsunami in Samoa. I was on the causeway on the northwestern motorway and stuck in traffic. I sat imagining the water receeding, and in our educated times knowing what would come next. Unfortunately I was boxed in by cars, who were in turn boxed in by more cars and two bodies of water. The only best-case-scenarios my mind came up with was to get out of my car and run in the direction of Waterview (or Rosebank road depending which was closer) OR start swimming and hope being far enough from the shoreline would actually help matters...
As for at work I've mentally planned for everything from fires and earthquakes, to demon or zombie attacks. The latter to involve plans from simply hiding under my desk between the partition and my filing cabinet, to skilled acsent to the airducts/space in the ceiling...with risky trips to the vending machine (which I would gladly smash with an office chair) for sustainance.
Ha, I'm with you Moata - when the fires/earthquakes/nazi zombie apocalypse happens I'll be legging it out the secret back door to my cache of arms and bottled water, laughing at all the ill-prepared fools as they get burnt/crushed/brains eaten. Mwahahahaha, laugh at me, will you? Who's laughing now? *trailing off into psychotic rant*
As am stuck on 21st floor I'm looking at bright side - will have a totally fantastic view when tsunami hits :)
Pessimistic or not Moata, those who contemplate contingencies like you do tend to be the ones who survive when the chips are down.
To answer your question, I do count the rows to the nearest exit, do read the card on the seat back, and have taken the time on occasion to read the instructions to open the door of the plane if I have to. A lot of times people have died needlessly in aircraft accidents, not because the accident was unsurvivable, but because they didn't think. You've probably guessed I get real frustrated watching fellow passengers ignoring the safety briefing with a 'It won't happen to me" attitude.
I imagine all sorts of worst scenarios and 'what I would do if.....' - but then I think I might be jinxing it all and have to stop in case it actually happens.
I usually spend my time trying to figure out the best way to get into burning buildings :-]
If you're on the first floor and your only exit is blocked due to smoke/flame/debris; and you have fixed hose-lines in your building, you may be able to use them to get out a window (assuming that they're long enough to reach the ground and you've already tried to use the hose-line in a fire suppression role, and this has not had the desired effect).
Me pēnei: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is_bqe-pin0
...just be sure to smash *all* of the glass out of the window frame first. The edge of a small desk drawer, or the bottom of a small rubbish tin could be used in a pinch ;-)
I intend to be completely unprepared. That way I can enjoy the novelty of the apocalypse.
One question that I really, really, really hope that they can answer in the movie 2012 is: where the hell does all that water come from?
There just isn't enough water on the planet to swamp the world like they show in the trailers. Looks like a deleriously silly fun movie though.
Schoolgirl sex video man guilty
Sir Richard Taylor named New Zealander of the Year
Dazzling Adele silences critics
Kiwis in cruise ship cocaine bust
Mallard offers ticket cash back
Sonny Bill Williams finds rugby boring: mate
'Starved, beaten' teen weighed just 32kg
No radiation leak on plane, says Fire Service
Pessimism is required whenever you drive on our roads....