Bye bye Betsy

I have a friend.  Let's call her Betsy.  You have noticed that I use aliases for all my friends by now, haven't you?  Surely you didn't think that I actually have friends named Consuela, Tulip, Moose, Hot Wookie and Pookie, did you?  We sound like a circus troupe rather than an assortment of sarcastic, articulate thirtysomethings.  And Betsy, fair Betsy has been one of this motley crew, this circle of friends for a while now...except that she's leaving.

Betsy, bless 'er, is an American.  When I talk about her to other people, it's always "My friend Betsy, she's American, but she's cool" because, and I don't want to be accused of racism here (since according to some I'm already an enemy of the intellectually handicapped), but you know with Americans sometimes you just have to make that distinction so that people don't cross themselves and recoil in horror.  But as I say, Betsy's one of the cool ones.  Like Leonard Cohen or Michael Buble or Nelly Furtado...what? Oh, they're Canadian.  Um, okay like Tina Fey.  Is Tina Fey American? (checking IMDb...) Yes, okay my friend Betsy is a cool American person in the tradition of Tina Fey.  And she's leaving me.

Apparently, right, she wants to go back to this bloody "America" place to live because it's her "home"...or something.  Whatever.  I mean what's so great about it, hmm?  Do they have onion soup and reduced cream dip there?  Can you roam about town saying hello to everyone because you already know them, in a Rhys Darby-esque fashion?  Do they have the internet and crap weather at Christmas there? Hmmm?

One of the reasons that I will miss Betsy is that she is one of the few single women that I know.  I know that we're told that there are legions of single thirtysomething gals hanging around the place but if so they're certainly not advertising the fact (unlike myself).  Betsy and I are definitely in the minority and I'm a little ashamed to admit that I very selfishly want her to stay just so I won't be the only single, childless one in my circle.  Though, I suppose that given the choice between her deserting me for the States or deserting for me a boyfriend, I'm okay with America being the winner.  Yes, I am that shallow.

Other than filling the position of fellow single lady about town and sipper of manhattans, Betsy also fulfils the role of "the nice one" amongst my friends (for those of my friends who are bothering to read this and are feeling hard done by, can you honestly say that you think you're nicer that Betsy? Yeah, that's what I thought).  It might come as a bit of a shock, dear reader,  but I can actually be quite abrasive sometimes (no, really, I can) but Betsy is generally more restrained and holds her tongue where I would tend to let fly.  She is usually the observer of bad behaviour rather than the instigator of it and is far less inclined to "trash talk".  She's a very good barometer that way.  I know that if even Betsy is rolling her eyes about something then I'm not wrong it thinking it unacceptable, inadvisable, or just plain laughable.

I suppose that amongst any group of friends there will be the outspoken ones and the quiet ones, the ones who get naked when drunk, the ones who are great hosts, the ones who love karaoke and the ones who can't stand it, the ones who will brave a mosh-pit with you and the ones who will give you a lift home after the gig.

Sadly for me, after this weekend I'm going to have one less "one" to hang around with (though Facebook is starting to seem like it might actually be useful for something, which is astounding). 

Thanks for being my friend Betsy, Whytee, cool American.  Thanks for not cringing too much when I said Pee-can instead of Pic-kahn, thanks for the red velvet cupcakes and most important of all...thanks for bequeathing me your hairdryer.  With my tendency for random flickiness it really will be the gift that keeps on giving.

So in your circle of friends are you the Betsy or the Moata?  Can you identify where you slot in within your "clique"?  Are you the home-baker, the party-girl, the taxi-driver, the always available baby-sitter?  Are you the wine-buff, the agony aunt or the IT helpdesk?

Follow NZStuffBlogs on Twitter and get fast updates on all Stuff's blogs.