Here come the brides
When I was a little girl, there was never a day so filled with excitement, glamour and pageantry as the day my mum put up new net curtains.
There was nothing particularly special about the way in which my mother did this that made it a noteworthy event, nor was I strangely obsessed with window treatments as a child (though in adulthood I've developed a distinct animosity towards venetian blinds - but that's a whole other story). The thing about new net curtains going up...was that the old ones would come down. And that's where the fun would begin.
I'm not a particularly big fan of net curtains. They serve the purpose of obscuring the interior of your home - in which you might be...dancing in your underwear, say - from view but they have a bit too much of the "nana aesthetic" about them to be something that I can wholeheartedly embrace. And I personally think that "terylene" is one of the most wonderfully hideous product names ever invented. Once upon a time I adopted "Terylene" as my "Kath and Kim" name and would do what I fancied was highly entertaining improv comedy whilst sipping "kardonnay", and dragging my vowels out till they were "keeecking and scrooiming".
But back to my mother's net curtains. These were almost certainly being replaced because of the gaping, sagging wounds they'd suffered at the claws of one of our cats. Naturally they couldn't be employed as curtains any longer so as soon as they came down, my sister and I, and whichever neighbour or girlhood friend was around, would fall upon them with glee, gathering them up into bundles under our chins. Unfortunately they were usually a bit dusty and as a result the weirdly synthetic aroma of not-quite-clean net curtains takes me back to girlish dress-up sessions of a simpler time. For when we got our hands on those diaphanous strips of curtain we transformed ourselves into the ultimate example of womanhood. We became brides.
It was often difficult to fashion an entire meringue-like frock but sashes, trains and of course veils were totally achievable. It was like a pre-pubescent bridal Project Runway. It's staggering to me now just how into it we were at such a young age. Somehow we'd come to the conclusion by the age of nine that getting married was the most important thing a woman could ever do. No one ever told us this, we just knew that being a bride was the most awesome thing that you could ever hope to be.
Obviously in the intervening years I've become a little more circumspect on the importance of achieving bridal perfection. In my teenage years I was vehemently anti-marriage. My own parents were never married so it just didn't seem that "necessary" to me. Also, I think I had started to realise that Johnny Depp and I probably weren't going to make it down the aisle together so I was embittered and cynical in the way that only world-weary 16-year-olds can be. I had a couple of joke "proposals" when my visa ran out in the UK from friends who thought I should stay in the country and I've had at least one serious relationship that looked like it might go that way but didn't. So to date any lingering girly bridal aspirations have gone unfulfilled.
But not for long. On Valentines Day I'm going to be a bride...I'm just not going to be getting married to anyone. Basically my friends and I are indulging in a grown-up version of what we used to do with mum's old curtains. You could make the argument that a bunch of grown women getting frocked up in wedding dresses just because they can is a bit ridiculous, and you'd be right. But is it any more ridiculous than boxes of chocolates and a dozen roses being prescribed gifts on a particular day of the year because someone else said so? I'm not against Valentines Day (or chocolates, let's be quite clear on that point), I just think there should be less cliched ways of celebrating it. Something for those slightly more inclined towards cynicism, perhaps? Something that single and married folk can enjoy together? Something for those of us who like clothing that needs to be made way for?
Anyway, that's how I'll be celebrating Valentines Day. Will you be doing something a bit more inventive than holding hands and walking along the beach? Does anyone else have unsatisfied bridal frou-frou fantasies that they'd like to indulge in? If you're in Christchurch you can join us. All terylene brides are most welcome.
» Follow NZStuffBlogs on Twitter and get fast updates on all Stuff's blogs.
» Fancy yourself as a blogger? Whoever wins Blog Idol 2 will blog on contract at Stuff as well as win a new Nokia phone. Put on your blogging hat and enter!
Picture: Fairfax
Sponsored links
I'd suggest you not make a gown from venetian blinds, as if you accidentally tread on the cord you'll end up with your gown hoisted around your armpits.
Although, you could always take the advice I heard recently which was "just wear your nice knickers and don't worry about it". Mind you the lady in question was wearing approximately one and a half tea towels worth of fabric at the time.
I've run hot and cold on marriage over the years. I was anti when I was young, because girls have germs. Then late teens early 20's when I was full of optimism I thought that I'd quite like to get married. Then as mid 20's rolled around and my parents marriage was clearly sucking tragically, and almost without exception all my parents friends all got divorced (husband left for another woman in every case) I started to wonder if it was really a great institution. I'm still wondering. I think it is like any relationship with or without paper and witnesses, you get out of it what you put into it.
On a slow day at work, we once created an entire suit out of bubble wrap. It had trousers, a jerkin (?!), a buttonhole rose and a hat. All constructed with staples and cellotape. I mention this because it strikes me that bubble wrap would make a pretty cool bubble-wrap bridal ensemble. Just a thought.
Valentine's Day - meh. I'm pressied out after Christmas and his nibs' January birthday. I have no present-buying/thinking ability until at least May.
haha I too played bridal dress ups with my Mother's fabric off cuts... whoever got fabric that wasn't white had to be the bridesmaid and my Dad's roses would be used as bouquets. haha How sad... My fantasies will indeed become a reality in 24 more. I could send you my gigantic veil once I'm finished with it if you like Moata. Valentine's Day... unsure about this year. Usually we do something, but not really the flowers, chocolates and serenading that goes on in the mavies. hrm perhaps dinner and a movie would be nice.
Ha, that sounds like it'll be great fun! Hey why the hell not, you can't get away with registering for wedding gifts so you may as well "get your frock on". Be wary though, some of those places charge you to try the gowns on and wont permit photography either.
Have fun, we expect to see pics of you trying on the hideous poofy numbers all covered in lace, it's the best part!
I'm going to a Primary-School-organised beer festival. Weird... Why would a Primary School organise a beer festival? Why Valentine's day? I'm not sure but it was random enough to make me accept the invite. My partner's pretty anti-Valentine's day (it's a scam made up by greeting card companies/ shopping malls etc) and I don't really care either way - so the most romantic thing we'll probably be doing is having a bit of a drunk pash in a Primary School. Sweet.
Well being as my live in BF of 8 months blew me off over auckland anniversary weekend to go to Oz for the weekend and has not contacted me since I would say I am facing a very single, lonely, unloved, Valentines day. *sniff*
Ah, I so wish I could join you. I used to love playing Project Runway with old curtains and such too. I still like to make my own clothes (my grandmother was a tailor, and considerately gave me her pattern drafting genes), though these days old nana curtains aren't my fabric of choice.
Can't say I was ever a bride though. I never had any fascination with marriage even when I was a kid. I think it's because we were a church-going family back then, and seeing what marriage meant for those church women put me off it for life. These days the closest I get to it is being nagged by friends who say that since Mr Louisette and I are coming up to our 7th anniversary, we should get married. But I know what their game is. They just want to party and get drunk on my dime.
I have the best pictures from when I was a child all decked out in mum's net curtains playing bride! If I was in Chch I'd be there for the re-enactment!
Bridal dress ups for valentines is awesome.
having been a bride for a day, I wont say it was the pinnicle of my exsistance, but it was pretty freekin awesome. People are real nice to a girl in wedding dress. Ohh and the dress... I need to find another occasion for it.
First married valentines this year, not sure what we will do to mark it, I am a sucker for romantic gestures though.
From TV to a tent: Family of eight evicted
Fallen property king arrested in Auckland raids
Star claims Home and Away racism
Pub owners give up, open kindergarten
Robyn Malcolm lays it all bare
Sonny Bill Williams finds rugby boring: mate
Mallard sells festival tickets online at profit
Mallard sells festival tickets online at profit
Should you take your groom's name?
Mallard sells festival tickets online at profit
Cyclist: Don't fine us, fix the road
Is Kutcher an upgrade over Sheen?
Newest First
Oldest First
I remember doing the same thing with the old net curtains!..My mothers wedding dress was also in our dress up box (post divorce) but I stopped fitting it when I was about 10 as she was a tiny wench when she got married. I think it's a cool way to spend valentines day but where are you getting the dresses from? hiring them? can fake brides hire wedding dresses or do you have to lie otherwise they might think in your spinster state that you will destroy them intentionally. Every day should be chocolate day.