It ain't heavy, it's my handbag
In our commodity-obsessed world, the things that we gather around us can sometimes define us. Our identities can be tied up in these possessions. Are we a Mac people or PC? Do we feel more like we're Nike folk or Adidas? Do we buy our clothes from Glassons or Max or Jacqui E? We need stuff to tell the world who we are (so that our pathetic personalities aren't required to do the talking for us).
And it doesn't have to be just the broad strokes of brand-loyalty that help us scream to the world "I am a chilled-out yoga-bunny", "I am very interested in my car and air-guitar" or "I am the Michelangelo of web-design". We can see ourselves in the detritus and minutiae of our lives too.
Let us consider a woman's handbag. I've often wondered if blokes find them miraculous receptacles. I know that I've been amazed on a number of occasions at being able to completely lose something inside it that I know for a FACT must be there, or alternatively, bring from its depths an unexpected item that perfectly fits my needs, or those of someone else at that time. It's fifty-fifty as to which of these will occur. I own several handbags (by "several" I mean "far too many") and they all behave this way, like a Tardis with a shoulder strap.
You could argue that the contents of a woman's handbag are a window to her soul, that the interior of her carry-all has something to say about her state of mind, preoccupations, hopes, dreams and desires. Revealing such to strangers would be tantamount to having an intense session with a psychoanalyst in front of them. You'd certainly never dump out the contents of your handbag and document it in a blog post.
So anyway, here's what's in mine:
Sunglasses - the weather has often been good lately.
Foldup umbrella - the weather has often been crap lately.
Two pens - One of which was a gift, the other leapt into my bag from the stationery cupboard at work and will no doubt leap back when it feels the need.
Phone - Third-most-vital and therefore third-most-forgotten thing that gets left behind.
Keys - Second-most-vital and therefore second-most-forgotten thing that gets left behind.
Wallet - Most vital and therefore most forgotten thing that gets left behind.
Small foil-wrapped chocolate Santa - I have only owned this bag since November hence I know that this is from Christmas 2009, otherwise it could be anyone's guess.
Comb - For vain attempts at fighting the wispy "alien antennae" look that I often sport.
"Feminine hygiene products" - I know that we're NEVER supposed to mention these because doing such has been known to cause seizures in grown men but I always have 4 to 5 of these rattling around in the bottom of my bag. It's a good system, actually, because it means I will not run out but it does mean that you have to be careful that none spill out in the process of rummaging. Catching sight of one of these will cause men to go blind or lose the ability to parallel park, so it's pretty serious.
Monteith's bottle cap - I seriously have no idea what this was doing in there but can only assume that I couldn't find a bin to put it in. I'm also confused about why there's only one.
Four lipglosses and a lipstick - Even for me, this seems an excessive amount for someone who has only one mouth. This hints at troubling psychological issues.
Enough receipts to stuff a small throw pillow - There's something a bit grubby and sordid about the receipts that thermal printers spit out, isn't there? They're just kind of shabby looking, unlike the light, crisp paper receipts that you rarely get now. On closer investigation they tell a story of restaurant dining, bar propping...and homewares. On the basis of these receipts it would seem that everything I own comes from Briscoes, which is patently ridiculous...everything I own comes from Farmers.
A printed-off recipe for red velvet cupcakes - Care of Betsy, in preparation for The Big Wedding.
So that's it, folks, that's what I've chosen to drag around town with me. I'm sure you'll apply your keen insight and tell me what this melange of mundane items says about me. But of course, it's not all about me, about 10 to 12 per cent of this is about you. Are you brave enough to tell the world what's in your bag? Or what you think is missing? I really think I need a billy-club and a passport in another name in mine but what would be in yours?
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My bag has never been refered to as the tardis however it has been likened to mary poppin's magic bag.
Mine has, Two cellphones (one I don't use), my wallet, a wad of serviettes (you never know when you might need some) two lipsticks, one lipgloss, a pack of hairties, a copy of my new employment agreement, three lipbalms, four book marks, eclipse mints, splenda tablets, four hilighters, germ-x, a watch, anthisan, keys, a jewellery box (empty), earrings, an SD card, nurofen, cold tablets, bobby pins, spare rubber thingees for my headphones, perfume, three pens and a green stick thingee from starbucks I use to stop my coffee from spilling.
My bag could do with a book though, and the umbrella I usually keep in there, and maybe a spare set of keys for when I lock myself out of the house.. oo and a secret stash of chocolate.
Thankfully i carry a small handbag which forces me to to clean out what i don't need quite often. I always have phone, keys, sunglasses and eftpos card/license (i don't have a wallet). Among other things there is all make up that i use therefore handbag doubles as toiletry bag in the mornings. Theres also the occasional pen floating around and some bobby pins in case of emergency. Nearly always change hiding around the bottom aswell due to aforementioned lack of wallet. When out with the mister all his belongings end up in there too followed by my teasing about how men really do need them.
Jeez, my bag is a black hole for useless items including; sunglasses, phone, wallet, ipod, one square meals, big bens rice, cigs, lighters, keys, bobby pins, hair ties, inhaler, pills (assorted), chewing gun, lipbalms, womens stuff, coins, heart rate monitor, cycle computer, hand cream, receipts, post it notes, sellotape, pens and probably more but I was getting scared.
contents of my current hand bag are:
Swiss Army knife (Camper). Far too useful to not carry, all handbags should have one! Keys (let's not go to that place with what is on my key ring...) one lipstick and one (M.A.C.) lip conditioner cellphone wallet shorts and singlet for teaching class tonight sunglasses various receipts waiting for the "end of month run to acountants to claim it all back". Pretty scarf for driving home with the top down. I imagine I'm in some cool 60's film driving along San Tropez in a 1966 SL 230. or it can be a bandage, recepticle for lost kitties, gag for annoying co-workers (just need the tennis ball), napkin or even just as a scarf to keep my neck warm. It did have my lunch, but that is now being carried by my tumtum. Should have my access card, but they're somewhere at home.
I've had this bag 5 weeks and it's not too bad. Gice me another 5 weeks and it'll be swimming.
My wallet is pink, a colour I'm not partial to; however, that does make it easier for me to spot it and not forget it. (It was given to me and it's a really practical wallet)
My handbag is starting to look a bit shabby - excellent, shopping time!
So, on to a list which will probably be of little interest to anyone but I'm in the mood for boring ppl (and thus putting of the return to work after lunch a bit longer.
Front compartment: Keys, mints, small pocket knife (soooo handy!), snapper card, pak n save shop 'n go card, hair pins, loose coins, safety pins (you never know when you'll need one) and antihistame cream for those icky mossie bites I got the other day.
Main compartment: Wallet (well, actually that's sitting next to handbag from my recent trip to the shop downstairs but this is it's usual home), personal mobile, work mobile, pen, empty snaplock bag, glasses case, sunnies, fabric shopping bag, notebook, tissues, voucher book, business card holders x2(one with actual business cards and one with assorted store cards), invoice from when I got my car warranted...in November, more tissues.
Small back compartment, and thus where I try to put everything - FHPs (shhhh), fabric bandaid, bendon voucher from birthday...last May, 2 x bus timetables, ipod, nurofen, contact lense case, comb, nail file, compact mirror, lipstick, chapstick, Smith and Smith windscreen patch kit.
Goodness, all sounds rather practical. No wonder a workmate called me a Monica.
Haha, awesome blog. My boyfriend refuses to enter my bag - not sure why - he acts as if he's going to be sucked into a black hole should he dare put his hand inside.
Mine's very similar to yours. Though, swap the amount of pens and lipglosses around (why I need 4 pens in my bag, im not too sure!) and trade the chocolate for some elipse mints... no... an empty mint packet! What the..?
I also have an iPod, my car stereo faceplate, hand moisturiser I've never used, deoderant and a diary.
My bag is also often referred to as the Tardis. I have:
3 different kinds of perfume wallet keys diary sunglasses deodorant tissues hair band thing for the gym padlock (for the gym) masses of bus tickets and receipts 2 lipsticks a packet of hair ties 2 dead batteries feminine hygiene products
Not all that exciting really
You have chocolate in your handbag for longer than one day? Call yourself a serious chocoholic? Hand back your card now!
For some reason pens breed in my handbag. I never have fewer than 5 in there and as often as I give them away, more appear. I'm actually quite happy about that as it's quite handy but I wish the same thing happened to, oh let's see, my MONEY.
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Obviously i dont have a handbag, but i just came on to check the blog today, and saw no one had commented. I am hoping to be first, so as to upset Gemma agin.