Swinging one way
I have this friend. No really, I do. This isn't one of those "I have a friend" stories that is actually about me. Why would I do that when I've already told you all of my embarrassing tales of woe? I'm not going to play you like, come on! 
Anyway, back to my actual, real, non-imaginary friend. He is sort of like a baggy t-shirt or a Che Fu CD in that he is something that used to belong to an ex-boyfriend that I got to keep when we broke up. Not so much a consolation prize as an unexpected treasure, you could say.
I've known him for about twelve years and for most of that time I've lived here and he's lived in London, so our friendship is pretty much restricted to occasional emails and even less occasional long distance phone calls which usually happen when he's got home from the pub on a Friday night, and I'm at home on a Saturday lunchtime procrastinating over housework with very important tasks like advanced shoe arranging and grey hair cataloguing. (Ooh there's one. Ooh, there's another one!). Which is to say that it's not a typical friendship but a friendship nonetheless.
We've recently got back in touch with a small flurry of emails bouncing back and forth across the globe like so many pithy ping-pong balls. His latest missive however has me asking myself questions. Yep, my mate Harlow quite apropos of anything much, revealed via the medium of email that back when we both lived in London the rumour was that I was "known to bat for the other side".
You know when you are so shocked by something, that you look around to see if anybody else has noticed it? To register a "holy smokes, what the hell is that?" shared look of astonishment? I did that. And I was by myself. Or maybe I was just compelled to scope the room for the lesbian lover I'd acquired entirely without my notice. I mean, God forbid she help herself to the last of the Sara Lee cheesecake minis in the freezer. A "domestic" might well ensue.
Now, I don't have an issue with gayness or bi-ness (but get all lovey-lovey in front of me and you'll annoy me as much as any straight couple) but I couldn't help wondering why on earth he'd thought that about me?
Especially since most of the time we'd spent together I'd been dating his best friend, who didn't look anything like a woman...not even a really ugly one. So I'm quite confused about this. And now I can't help wondering if I put out some kind of lesbian/bi-sexual vibe? And if so, have I stopped? Because if not, I think I'd like to.
And the thing is I've done this myself. On a number of occasions I've assumed that people are gay when they're actually not and vice versa based on nothing more than an amorphous "general impression" so it's entirely possible that others might make similar mistakes in my direction (an obvious truth that until now I had never considered, feeling safe as I did in the warm radiant glow of my heterosexuality).
So what I'm looking for today, just to make me feel better, are any examples of this that you have suffered. Have you ever experienced a case of "mistaken sexuality" and did it freak you out or where you all sophisticated and cool about it? Meanwhile I'll be compiling my "who would you turn straight for list".
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Yes, but I was in a gay bar at the time.
Someone mistook my jeans and t shirt as lesbian as opposed to lazy fag hag :)
I visited a gay bar with a friend of mine to watch an event.
One person I knew saw me, said 'Oh! I didn't know you "went here"'. I told him politely that I was just visiting but needless to say, everyone thought I was a lesbian.
I sort of asked for that though, and I can't say I really cared! When people spread rumours about you, it mean's you're interesting enough to talk about.
I think I've got a fairly good gay-dar as far as men go, but it's definitely less reliable for girls (though as I'm all about the boys that's not really a problem). I started a job years ago and was sure a woman there was gay right up until I met her gorgeous male partner.
One thing that always annoys me is when people start to think you're gay just because you're single for a while.
Yeah, the lesbian rumour was doing the rounds about me years ago. I started it myself. This was at a point in my life when I was apparently very attractive to the kind of bloke I wouldn't sleep with if the future of the species depended on it. One noxious little oik in particular was unshakeably convinced that if he asked often enough, I'd shag him (it wasn't just me - he chased anything even remotely female and I don't believe he was ever really successful). I hoped the lesbian rumour would discourage him. It didn't bother me at all because I'm bi anyway, and because I don't define myself in terms of my sexuality so it really doesn't matter to me what anyone thinks I am.
This has also happened to me! I recently found out that a rumour was doing the rounds that I might be a lesbian - my friends were all quietly discussing it when I wasn't around! I also have no idea how this one started - I have only ever had relationships with men, and am pretty confident that I've never given anyone so much as a hint that I might swing the other way. It didn't really bother me; in fact, I found it kind of amusing! I basically settled it by bringing it up in conversation at a party and telling everyone that it wasn't true. If I really was gay I wouldn't feel the need to hide it - my friends and family are pretty cool and it's not anything to be ashamed of, is it?
I thought my current partner might have been gay when we first met just cos he didn't make any moves on me...but yeah he definately isn't, guess he was just scared of me. I had a big crush on a guy at school who all the girls loved...he turned out to be gay later on (although he dated girls at school) I'm often attracted to gay guys but have no idea they are gay at the time. I've never been mistaken for a lesbian though. "If you were gay...that'd be ok"
"Sara Lee cheesecake minis "
- I've been searching CHC's seedy supermarket underbelly for these to no avail. The problem is with CHC when you scratch it's seedy underbelly it rolls over and wags it's tail.
I've never been mistaken for gay. But I don't wear Pierre Cardin (sp?) boxer shorts - which are apparently a way of saying you walk that way.
When I was 16 I chopped all of my hair off (it was down to my butt) and was left with a short, spikey do. I thought it looked funky, but one day when I was refereeing intermediate aged netball (probably my first mistake) I got yelled at by several of the parents, one of which called me a lesbian. Just because I had short hair. Nice one, mate.
Oh Get over yourself. I get mistaken for being straight all the time but it doesn't concern me. And no, I don't consider it a compliment.
Honestly - straight people. You still think it's a bad thing to be considered gay - no matter how sophisticated you think you are.
Classic is "I wouldn't wish it on my kids - not because there's anything wrong with it. But people will be mean..." Paraphrasing the fabulous Seinfield episode which skewered that one.
So whine on that "I'm really straight and horrified that my friend thought I was a dyke". You sound like a twenty-year-old with barely any life experience.....
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When I was younger I had some mates who all flatted together in Welly, and I'd quite often pop down and stay with them. When I went I'd always crash in my best mates room (which was also the smallest room), the main reason being that I knew I could trust him not to shave my eyebrows or do anything else that drunken late teens boys find hilarious. One of the other guys that lived there used to offer me his floor to set up on, and I discovered recently that he thought me and my "roomate" were getting it on, and that was why I always crashed on his floor! I lmao-ed of course, but looking back I can kind of see why he would think that....I mean, you kiss one guy....
Let me elaborate - did you ever see that episode of Scrubs where Brendan Fraser played Dr Cox's ex-wifes brother? And him and Dr Cox played Gay Chicken? Well, it was kind of like that, only neither of us would back down.