I've always managed to make the "NO, thank you" approach fend of any salespeople. Emphasis on the no.

Mind you, my default facial expression when I'm not really thinking about anything is slightly unfriendly. This discourages 99% of random salespeople. Sadly it encourages older ladies to tell me stop worrying. Which then immediately makes me worry.

Any salesperson who decides they want to hold my hand will be in for a rough ride. Though I wouldn't apply a knee to their meat and two veg, I'd be removing my hand from their grasp at extremely high speed. On average, I suspect large males are less likely to be grasped by strangers attempting to ply moisturising products, other than in selected establishments offering negotiable affection services.

"Why is your hand so dry?"

"Because it's artificial and made entirely of plastic and titanium."

I used to work in sales. You can get past most objections, but usually it's easier to just say "Thanks for your time, have a great day."

Telstra Clear turned up at my doorstep the other day to tell me they had upgraded the local exchange and wanted to have a look at my Telecom phone bill so they could tell me how much money I could save. I said no. The guy looked positively taken aback. He may have burst into tears, but I had shut the door by then so will never know.

Inappropriate unsolicitated touching is abuse, i wuda punched him lightly in the arm and sed theres a violence problem in this country, let them mull it over before grabbin someone again, i snub the 'hey buy me peepz', making a livin, how bout get ridda cheap commission meh, have u seen the malls in oz, they're like dairies, weird, guess consuming is an addiction that is fed by pushers, i mean marketers.

Heh, heh. I once had a saleslady talk me into trying on a pair of skinny jeans. She then informed me with a perfectly straight face that I looked nice in them! I laughed like a drain. I couldn't help myself. You see, I could see my reflection in the mirror and was perfectly well aware that in reality those jeans made my butt look big enough to be seen from space. So, 10 out of 10 to the saleslady for audacious and ambitious lying, but I did not buy those jeans.

Moata, if I was in your shoes with the dodgy moisturiser guy I would have given him a good yelling at. That is definitely inappropriate touching.

I've considered having one of the mall massages, but I'm usually on a mission when I'm at a mall & don't want to stop. The idea of being seen by everyone walking past is a bit disconcerting as well - though I might go to the Northlands one, where they actually have a shop space & it's a lot more private.

The grabby hand cream people really annoy me, two of my friends have been suckered into buying the packages. $60-$80 later, they can't actually tell the difference between the expensive stuff & a $5 tube of cream from the supermarket, and they never use the extra tools that were an upselling point. I'm not good with being unexpectedly grabbed (many a dropped glass or elbow in the face for exes who decided to go for a sneaky hug), so I definitely avoid the handcream sellers.

You see Moata, you are too polite (like most Kiwis) and this is what these types of people count on. Just look "through" them, never make eye contact, and never under any circumstances speak to them. The merest hint of engagement and they're on you like poo on a blanket.

I'm like you in that I don't like strangers touching me in any way. We used to have "the backrub man" come in to our work, the whole concept used to make me feel ill, even though my friends would swear by him.

Next time some random strokes any part of your body, maybe reach over and give his nipple a wee tweak. That should end any awkwardness!

My exit strategy is to tell them that I already have their product - in the Ocean fragrance.

Sadly, I only came up with that strategy after I too was physically accosted and detained (which with one certain person, I'd normally thoroughly enjoy). So now I do actually have their product in the Ocean fragrance *hangs head in shame*

Moata, you need to take a few classes at the Darth Michael School of Charm. With a single menacing glare you can put a stop to "being touched by strangers".

Of course, you'll need to build up a tolerance to pepper-spray and seeing complete strangers cross the road to avoid your "special" *cough* ambiance...

As for the hard sell, I can't stand those sales people who loudly call out to me as I pass their counter in the food hall of a shopping mall. It's an almost guaranteed way to lose a sale. Of course, the last time a salesgirl called out to me it was to tell me that my fly was down, but what the hell was she doing looking down there anyway, lol? ;-)

Cellphone! Anytime I see a salesperson or other mall denzien that wants to annoy me or try to part me from my cash, I whip out the celly and start talking to no-one. Works great in supermarkets as well. Try it sometime.....

There used to be a psycho-cow armed with waxing strips who haunted the entrance of the pharmacy at the top of Cuba Mall. She would leap out and depilate any exposed forearms that entered the shop. Clearly the brainiacs running the pharmacy thought that a sales pitch involving hot wax and assault was a winner.