It's the end of the world. Are you invited?

23:24, May 11 2011

One thing that I noticed immediately upon becoming part of a couple was that I suddenly got invited to more things. BBQs, dinners and informal get-togethers. Suddenly there were multiple social occasions to to attend on any given weekend. And even better, someone to drive me to them (the Silver Fox has a car). Hurrah! When it comes to social engagements the Silver Fox and I come as a set these days. Like Laurel and Hardy but slightly less inclined to whack each other with a ladder.

So imagine my surprise when the other night he announced that he'd been invited to something. No "we" but "he". The Silver Fox has been invited to The Rapture via Facebook. Awh, typical. The single biggest event in the history of mankind and the other half gets to go while I'm stuck at home de-grouting the shower-tiles*. This is just like the time I was offered tickets to a Goldie gig but was a bit tired and decided not to go, only to miss one of my friends, front row, reaching over and putting his hands on the turntables, stopping them dead and informing "he of the blinging orthodontia" that he was a bit rubbish (but in slightly stronger words than that). That night will be forever spoken of in legend amongst my social group, and whether you agree with my friend's actions or indeed appraisal, you cannot deny that to have missed that when you so easily could have been witness to it is nigh on tragic. 

But back to the bit where I don't get to meet Jesus Christ. Typical.

According to Harold Camping (which, by the way, if I were scripting some kind of smutty Fawlty Towers, would totally be the name I'd give the gay bellboy character) is a Christian radio broadcaster/writer/prophesier who's penned such publications as Gay Pride: Planned By God as A Sign Of The End (so he's probably not too keen on being portrayed as a homosexual hotel porter - I'm beginning to see why I haven't been invited to this thing, actually). Anyway, Camping has spent a lot of time studying The Bible and has, on the basis of this study come to the conclusion that The Rapture will occur on 21 May of this year (that's a Saturday for any of you wishing to clear your calendar). For those of you not mixing in the right circles who don't know what The Rapture is, it's when all the good Christians get taken up in the air to meet Christ (I'm assuming smart/casual attire, no mention of whether drinks and nibbles are provided) and the rest of us get left behind and the Earth gets destroyed yadda, yadda, yadda.

Camping made a similar prediction back in 1994 but for scheduling reasons that party didn't really kick off. But 2011 is definitely, definitely when The Rapture will happen. Definitely. I mean, if there's a Facebook event page for it then you KNOW it's legit. For those of you lucky enough to get an invite, I'd book your mani-pedi now. I know if I were invited to the end of the world that I'd want to be nicely groomed.

So obviously I'm a little bit annoyed that I've been left off the guest list for ascension to Heaven or wherever but I'm not too surprised. I mean, at any party I'm at there's a reasonably good chance I'll drink too much and hog the Doritos. Not everyone is cool with that. I get the sense that this Rapture (there have been several that didn't quite happen over the years) might be a sort of formal dinner type thing. Not really my scene anyway. I'm totally fine with not going, actually. And I do want that shower to be clean when the end of the world comes.

So, just wondering if any of the rest of you had heard about this 21 May party to end all parties (literally)? Do you think you'll go? What do you think you'll wear?

*The Silver Fox has invited me himself now but I'm thinking of not going. It's quite the snub, after all.