It's the end of the world. Are you invited?

Last updated 11:23 12/05/2011

One thing that I noticed immediately upon becoming part of a couple was that I suddenly got invited to more things. BBQs, dinners and informal get-togethers. Suddenly there were multiple social occasions to to attend on any given weekend. And even better, someone to drive me to them (the Silver Fox has a car). Hurrah! When it comes to social engagements the Silver Fox and I come as a set these days. Like Laurel and Hardy but slightly less inclined to whack each other with a ladder.

So imagine my surprise when the other night he announced that he'd been invited to something. No "we" but "he". The Silver Fox has been invited to The Rapture via Facebook. Awh, typical. The single biggest event in the history of mankind and the other half gets to go while I'm stuck at home de-grouting the shower-tiles*. This is just like the time I was offered tickets to a Goldie gig but was a bit tired and decided not to go, only to miss one of my friends, front row, reaching over and putting his hands on the turntables, stopping them dead and informing "he of the blinging orthodontia" that he was a bit rubbish (but in slightly stronger words than that). That night will be forever spoken of in legend amongst my social group, and whether you agree with my friend's actions or indeed appraisal, you cannot deny that to have missed that when you so easily could have been witness to it is nigh on tragic. 

But back to the bit where I don't get to meet Jesus Christ. Typical.

No Rapture for me!According to Harold Camping (which, by the way, if I were scripting some kind of smutty Fawlty Towers, would totally be the name I'd give the gay bellboy character) is a Christian radio broadcaster/writer/prophesier who's penned such publications as Gay Pride: Planned By God as A Sign Of The End (so he's probably not too keen on being portrayed as a homosexual hotel porter - I'm beginning to see why I haven't been invited to this thing, actually). Anyway, Camping has spent a lot of time studying The Bible and has, on the basis of this study come to the conclusion that The Rapture will occur on 21 May of this year (that's a Saturday for any of you wishing to clear your calendar). For those of you not mixing in the right circles who don't know what The Rapture is, it's when all the good Christians get taken up in the air to meet Christ (I'm assuming smart/casual attire, no mention of whether drinks and nibbles are provided) and the rest of us get left behind and the Earth gets destroyed yadda, yadda, yadda.

Camping made a similar prediction back in 1994 but for scheduling reasons that party didn't really kick off. But 2011 is definitely, definitely when The Rapture will happen. Definitely. I mean, if there's a Facebook event page for it then you KNOW it's legit. For those of you lucky enough to get an invite, I'd book your mani-pedi now. I know if I were invited to the end of the world that I'd want to be nicely groomed.

So obviously I'm a little bit annoyed that I've been left off the guest list for ascension to Heaven or wherever but I'm not too surprised. I mean, at any party I'm at there's a reasonably good chance I'll drink too much and hog the Doritos. Not everyone is cool with that. I get the sense that this Rapture (there have been several that didn't quite happen over the years) might be a sort of formal dinner type thing. Not really my scene anyway. I'm totally fine with not going, actually. And I do want that shower to be clean when the end of the world comes.

So, just wondering if any of the rest of you had heard about this 21 May party to end all parties (literally)? Do you think you'll go? What do you think you'll wear?

*The Silver Fox has invited me himself now but I'm thinking of not going. It's quite the snub, after all.

Post a comment
JeM   #1   11:35 am May 12 2011

Bugger, I have plans that day. It's a bit short notice. Do you think they'll reschedule?

Peter   #2   11:35 am May 12 2011

I'm not invited, either. Don't worry, I bet it'll be dumb, anyway. I wouldn't even want to go to their stupid old Rapture.

Dave (not Doug)   #3   11:49 am May 12 2011

Hell, I've got something else on on the 21st, or else I'd be there.

Dress? Do you think a Charlton-Heston-in-The-Ten-Commandments type long flowing robe would be going overboard? With sandals (but without socks)?

Do you think the music will be something by Blondie circa 1981?

superher   #4   11:53 am May 12 2011

thankfully i'm not on facebook but bugger, that means the lunch appointment booked with dad is once again cancelled because the world will end. i've been trying to catch up with him for ages

...Louise...   #5   11:55 am May 12 2011

I've been invited to Hamilton the following week - as the people who invited me are Christians, and they will have been rapturefied, I will be on my own. Do you think Air NZ will refund my tickets? Or can another reader pick me up at the airport please?

daikini   #6   11:59 am May 12 2011

If Harold Camping has studied the Bible so well he can predict the Rapture, how did he miss this verse:

“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things* will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows." Matthew 24:36

Pretty sure Camping isn't God :o)

*preceeding verses talk about the return of Jesus, following verses describe the Rapture

Vida   #7   12:09 pm May 12 2011

Everyone just avoid the cool-aid. It's dodgy.

DP Fraggle   #8   12:10 pm May 12 2011

Hmm, I have a wedding to go to that day so at least I will be dressed nicely.....

Anne.   #9   12:14 pm May 12 2011

Keep the following Saturday clear, won't you?

ticia   #10   12:17 pm May 12 2011

looks like i'm never gonna get back to Australia, seeing as the world will end before my plane takes off!!

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