Timewarp to 1965

01:00, Jun 17 2011

So, it's been a kind of rough week for a lot of people but, hell, it's Friday and I think we could all use a little cheering up which is why I am wearing red shoes, and also why I'm going to tell my sister not to read any further. For if you do one of your birthday presents (which is going in the post today, I SWEAR) will be a little bit ruined.

Are any of you now reading, my sister? No? Then we may carry on.

So, on one of my many charity shop expeditions (I blame Fringa for lighting the fire of op-shop rummaging in my belly, for when we went to the UK together much time was spent in them) I came across a clutch of 1960s magazines. After flicking through a few of them I decided to buy one for my sister because I thought she'd get a kick out of it but then there was so much bloggable material in it I just couldn't help but share it with everyone so I scanned a few pages that I might present to you, loyal readers, New Idea from July 1965.

Obviously I picked this particular because of the cover. Who could resist a bouffanted blonde with matching collars and cuffs? Well, not me. Could anyone?

Quickly it became apparent that the advertising in this magazine was the real drawcard. Sure there was a cute pattern for a pinny and "romantic stories" but who wouldn't be intrigued by an ad for a "safe family planning" book entitled "Design for Married Happiness"? Does the design include a beer fridge and a lazyboy recliner? It saddens me that I will never know.







But as curious as I am about that, I'm even more bemused by the illustrations in this ad for some kind of fat-melting slimming undergarment/fullbody bondage out fit. If anyone can tell me what the misshapen form that I've handily provided a magnified version of at bottom right is, I would be very grateful. My current guesses are - a puffball mushroom, a wadded up tissue, an albino kumara (great name for a band, BTW), or sack of kittens on its way to the nearest bridge. 








Further on we have an advertisement for a product that claims to remove wrinkles. To which I say, forget about the wrinkles, will it remove the vivid that someone has drawn on this unfortunate woman's face while she was lying passed out on the floor after one too many mimosas at a particularly alcoholic tupperware party? I certainly hope so. Imagine walking around like that? Worse than a shaven off eyebrow, I tell ya. Still, when the matching sugar and flour cannisters come out at a Tupperware party anything can happen.





Speaking of being passed out, I think we know what the answer to this child's question is, don't we? That's right, he's depressed because his wife spends so much time at Tupperware parties. I'm sure that Tupperware parties do actually feature in "Design for Married Happiness" but not only in the wives' version.





What women's magazine would be complete without some advertising for feminine hygiene products (or Fem pro if you're at Countdown). Is it just me or does this girl look like her head twists off? Of course my favourite part of the ad is in the copy where it states "It's not only the modern way - it's the dainty way. That's right ladies. Make sure to keep those pinkies out. Tampax is ladylike. Well, fetch me a doilie and cut the crusts of my cucumber sandwiches , I've got my period! Though I'm struggling to decide whether the later horse-riding, rock-climbing, version I grew up with is any better. None of those girls had fliptop head's though.


And lastly but by no means leastly, there's the lucky mink's paw. For when a rabbit paw just isn't lucky enough and you want to present the air of sophistication akin to that of, say, a glamorous but superstitious Bond Girl. Nothing says "I'm fancy and I'm going to clean up at Craps" like a lucky mink paw. You can "be a conversation piece anywhere", at lumberjack cocktail parties, Tupperware parties, anywhere people are likely to utter the phrase "Oh my God, what's that thing on your sweater? And by the way, nice collars and cuffs".

So thank you, New Idea - July 1965. I feel like a happier, more confident, and yes, more dainty woman for having spent time with you.

I don't care what anyone says, God bless advertising.

Seen anything like this yourself? Any ideas on what the Unidentified Fat-melting Object is? Your thoughts welcome below.