Stick you, your mama too (and your daddy)

Last updated 14:09 09/03/2012

Now some of you might be wondering why, via the medium of this blog's title, I've dared to dredge up the ghost of a horribly catchy and obnoxious Daphne and Celeste number from the late nineties. And well you might.

Well, for two reasons, the first being that I wanted an excuse to link to this footage of old "D & C" getting bottled at the Reading Festival in 2000 (I was in that crowd but didn't throw my bottle because...well, it was hot, and I was thirsty) and the second is because when you're writing a post about the general appallingness of the "My Family" range of stickers that bedeck the rear windows of cars everywhere, there isn't anything more appropriate than the title of that particular song. Unfortunately.

So yes. The stickers. Ever since I first noticed these unrelentingly smiley stick figure families gurning at me from rear windows I can't stop noticing them. Stopped at traffic lights, walking through car parks, my eye is drawn to them...because I hate them.

I've tried to figure out where this antipathy comes from. Are they hurting me? No. Are they hurting anyone? No. Are they so aesthetically ugly that they're innately offensive? Well, they're not exactly beautiful but neither are they an affront to the eyeballs. So what is it about them that makes me so angry? 

I can only assume that it's because they're so "samey". They purport to be something that helps a family express their personality but only seems to end up screaming "we are a generic middle-class family unit". Or maybe it's just the immense smiley faces. I do have a fairly low tolerance for aggressive cheerfulness.

Whatever the cause I pretty much assumed it was just me. Until I asked on Twitter whether anyone else thought they were naff and was overwhelmed with the number of people who also think they are hideous. A hat tip must be given in the direction of @artandmylife who pointed out that some people have gone further than just hating on them and have created their own decidedly less naff versions. Of course, my personal favourite is the zombie family version.

For myself, I find that I have the need to create subversive backstories for these white stick figure families. Below is my take on just a few of the sticker families I've seen in the last few weeks.

Such a happy famiily

I've actually seen a second "chasing the wife with a golf club" configuration since I took this photo. Am I the only one who sees this?

I feel sorry for the kids...and the two cats...and the dog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think these guys might have...a baby?I can totally understand this couple being excited about their baby. A baby is a pretty unique and special thing. I mean, it's not like there's a baby born every second of every minute of every hour, every day. Right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fast food menu for burglarsThis car was parked outside a suburban home. I consider this sort of a "McDonald's menu" for burglars. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Handbag loveGuess what? Burglary mum is leading a double life and has a whole other family, not to mention another set of handbags. If I were laptop dad or BBQ dad I'd be pretty angry.

And of the 12 options available for a sticker that represents you, who picks HANDBAGS? I mean, I like a clutch purse as much as the next girl but that's not how I define myself.

Good grief, sort your bigamist self out, lady.

 

 

 

Disney douchebagsThese stickers seem to be from a slightly different set, namely the "Disney douchebag" set.

Honestly, I saw this and wished for a flame thrower to burn their smug little faces off. Is that wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah. Not really a fan of the family stickers and at least tentative investigation suggests that I am not alone. Do you feel similarly cringey every time you see them? If so, can you pinpoint what exactly it is that you hate about them? Have you seen any particularly awful family configurations?

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176 comments
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yellowtree   #1   02:21 pm Mar 09 2012

Comedy GOLD. Thank you for existing Moata.

And I did have a slight unease at these stick families mushrooming up on rear windows all over the place, yet I didn't know why. You just explained it perfectly.

Noodle   #2   02:25 pm Mar 09 2012

Not a fan of them myself, either. Thought the other day I did see a 'Nightmare Before Christmas' one on the back of a car. I liked that one.

Love it when you drive past a car with sticker mum and dad looking all happy and fabulous, and three happy, active looking sticker children, but then when you look into the car mum and dad look grumpy and unfabulous with three very fat and apparently annoying children in the back.

gazza   #3   02:26 pm Mar 09 2012

I have honestly never noticed them, maybe they just haven't caught on in Palmerston North? (or maybe I am simply un-observant? who knows...)

I have to agree though, the standard ones are a little "Meh". The Zombie one is kinda cool though.

I would suggest however that you might find the whole "family" is purchased by one family member, so its probably not the wifey who thinks of herself as "handbag lady" but her husband, having suffered through one to many shopping expeditions.

Ratbag   #4   02:27 pm Mar 09 2012

Babies are like sausages. You shouldn't be there at the making of them.

As for those figures, they look, well, unintelligently designed.

JenniPea   #5   02:28 pm Mar 09 2012

I've never noticed these stickers before. Not sure if that says something about my non-observant driving skills or if they just haven't makde it to Tauranga yet? But not sorry I haven't seen them. Its bad enough being part of the 2 kid, 2 adult 'normal?' family thing, without advertising it - not for me thanks.

ErinF   #6   02:28 pm Mar 09 2012

You crack me up, will not be looking at those lame stickers the same way anymore!!

jaiemem   #7   02:29 pm Mar 09 2012

Thank you for using the word "gurning"! It's a particular favourite of mine, and no one else seems to know what it means.

kirstylb   #8   02:35 pm Mar 09 2012

Yes, yes and... oh yes!!! But, no I too have no real idea why.

huh   #9   02:36 pm Mar 09 2012

I find it creepy that people are advertising how old their kids are and what they might like. Stranger danger!

bo   #10   02:36 pm Mar 09 2012

Yes!! They totally scream "we are a generic middle-class family unit". It's this kind of thing that almost puts me off kids, I do not want to become a soccer Mom whose only interest worth depicting on a sticker is shopping! Egads!


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