The Delta blues

Last updated 11:24 30/05/2012

There are a lot of important things that might occupy a person's mind on any given morning - the effect of Greece's unstable economy might have on global markets, the effect that my hacking cough might have on my workmates, or even whether a zombie outbreak might be imminent - instead I find myself pondering why I feel so antagonistic toward Delta Goodrem.

DeltaThere is nothing especially offensive about Delta Goodrem. She's Australian. She does pop songs and sometimes turns up in movies. She has nice hair. But ever since I happened to wander through the living room as the Silver Fox was watching the State of Origin pre-game show and catch La Goodrem-two-shoes belting out her latest single she has never been far from my thoughts.

To be specific, I have had that damn song in my head for days now. To be fair it is doing an alternating tag-team combo with Adele's Someone Like You mainly because I made the mistake of watching a clip of newscaster extraordinaire and karaoke virtuoso Mike McRoberts doing a turn of this song recently.

So when I'm not being annoyed at Adele for not getting over her ex quickly enough I'm suffering at the hands of Delta's irrepressibly upbeat and infectiously catchy song about....look, I'm not really sure what it's about. I do know that she's sitting on top, sitting on top of the wo-o-orld but I can't really venture much of an interpretation of what it all means. I do know that there's ululating and caterwauling and I get the feeling that the overall effect is supposed to be uplifting rather than infuriating.

And everything was made worse by the music video, which I inadvertently saw last night. In it Delta wears different outfits and carries balloons and skips. And brightly clothed people dance behind her. And it's all very peppy and gosh, just so much fun.

I hate it more than I have any reasonable right to.

I genuinely cannot understand why I find it so awful. It's completely harmless. As far as I know, no puppies were mistreated in the process of making it or anything. It's really not a horrible video. Maybe it's just that to me, the video screams "I AM CHARMING AND SWEET. LOVE ME! LOVE ME OR BE DOOOOOOOMED!"

I went to bed last night with that song ping-ponging around in my head. Then when I got up this morning and flicked on the TV, there it was again, haranguing me with its brightly coloured cheerfulness.

And somewhere in central Christchurch a woman in a bathrobe mouthed a silent scream and sobbed into her microwave porridge.

Even as I'm writing this, tapping angrily at the keys, I have the ever-present Delta for company. I really wish she were sitting on top, sitting on top of the that I could push her off it.

Look, I'm not proud of that fact I feel this way. I don't know what it says about me that I can't just embrace the cheerfulness of it. I'm sure things would be easier for me if I did. Like in The Chronicles of Riddick when Thandie Newton explains that if you fight the brainwashing it'll only hurt more. There's no actual physical pain so far, though I do have a certain stiffness in my shoulders. Could that be related to this? What the hell, let's blame Delta for that too.

Suffered any earworms lately? Is it just me or is Delta Goodrem just too nice to like?

» Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

Post a comment
Niri Tacen   #1   11:40 am May 30 2012

I currently have the entire soundtrack to Jesus Christ Superstar stuck in my head. Specifically, it's a German version I found; everyone is singing in English, but with German accents. It's just so weird, and very sticky (but brilliantly sung).

JCS tends to switch with Les Miserabl├ęs occasionally, and less often the songs from The War of the Worlds (the Jeff Wayne version, not that silly Tom Cruise thing).

Of course in some moods my inner iPod will start playing George Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue, and then shuffle between Carmen (the opera) and Greig's Peer Gynt.

I know, it's weird.

Davo   #2   11:40 am May 30 2012

I read an article the other day that mentioned 'The Final Countdown' by Europe, and now I can't get that ridiculous keyboard riff out of my head. I hate that song so much it is crazy. I wish I had never heard it, and that it didn't keep appearing in MTV all the time!

Lauren   #3   11:42 am May 30 2012

Delta is a cancer survivor and you aren't allowed to push cancer survivors off of the world. I'm pretty sure, anyway.

AKB   #4   11:45 am May 30 2012

Delta annoys me as well - but mostly because she is so gorgeous, so talented and seems to be so nice. It also doesn't help that she is on my hubby's "list" (along with Kate Beckinsale) so he finds her absolutely wonderful. Haven't heard the song so perhaps I should be pleased about that fact at least!

Andrew   #5   12:02 pm May 30 2012

I still have the Ooh Stick You song stuck in my head after you mentioned it in your blog months ago... so annoying!

sydneykiwi   #6   12:05 pm May 30 2012

@ AKB #4 - What is it with Kate Beckinsale? She's on my man's list too!

I agree Moata, and I almost feel bad for feeling this way about Delta. Living in Sydney means her face is EVERYWHERE. Billboards, flags... Every. Adbreak. Ever. Her and her perfect hair and face. Disgusting.


Silarnon   #7   12:08 pm May 30 2012

Apparently the best way to clear out an earworm is to sing, out loud and all the way through, an antidote song.

For me, the Muppets Theme song seems to work. (It has worked for me in the past.) You might end up with the Muppets Theme stuck in your head, but at least it'll get rid of your current song.

kristen   #8   12:08 pm May 30 2012

@Andrew #5 - ME TOO! It shows up every so often and I shake my fist in the general direction of Christchurch/Moata.

Corny cheesy cheese corn   #9   12:10 pm May 30 2012

But didn't you smile when she loses the balloons at the end of the video? Or didn't you get that far?

Moata   #10   12:12 pm May 30 2012

@Niri Tacen #1 - Yup. It is. Never change.

@Davo #2 - I think we both need to stop watching MTV. This will solve a lot of problems including the eye pain I experience every time a Nicki Minaj video comes on.

@Lauren #3 - Unfortunately I think you're probably right about that. Would another cancer survivor be allowed to do it though? If so maybe my mum could do it for me.

@AKB #4 - Yeah. And she has really long legs too.

@Andrew #5 - That song is like the ebola of pop music. I'm very sorry, now confine yourself away from others please.

Show 11-60 of 61 comments

Post comment


Required. Will not be published.
Registration is not required to post a comment but if you , you will not have to enter your details each time you comment. Registered members also have access to extra features. Create an account now.

Maximum of 1750 characters (about 300 words)

I have read and accepted the terms and conditions
These comments are moderated. Your comment, if approved, may not appear immediately. Please direct any queries about comment moderation to the Opinion Editor at
Special offers

Featured Promotions

Sponsored Content