There are any number of potential life-threatening accidents just waiting happen right inside your home. Your domicile is full of hazards. Honestly, if you managed to make it out of your home to the relative safety of a workplace today, just give yourself a little pat on the back by way of congratulations. But careful! Don't twist too quickly...you may pull something you'll need later.
Speaking as a somewhat clumsy individual it was with no small amount of horror that I read of the plight of Oregon woman Virginia Cartier who, after trying to move a dresser, was trapped underneath it for four days.
Given that my own dresser is both tall and dangerously overloaded with a confusingly large collection of pairs of tights, there is every chance that I too could become victim of Accidental Furniture Impingement.
But what if I were to become trapped under a heavy piece of furniture for four days? Would the world notice my absence? Would the lack of tweets, or indeed blog posts, be enough to tip people off that something was awry?
Given that I don't actually live alone, my guess is that the Silver Fox would notice if I didn't emerge...eventually. I mean, I know he's been pretty into his Diablo III the past couple of weeks but he would actually notice if I were strangely absent for days on end, I hope.
Surely once he ran out of loo paper and was unable to track down any clean socks he could come looking for me.
At the very least I can be reasonably sure that he would lose track of the remote control at some point and that might eventually lead him to the bedroom only to find me severely dehydrated and slipping in and out of consciousness. I'm sure that after checking under me for the remote, he might get around to, I don't know, administering first aid.
Yes, the benefits to not living alone are indeed numerous and varied.
Mind you, if my dresser did pin me to the floor for several days, I might at least have a bit of time on my hands to finally find the partner to that one nondescript black sock that seems destined to be a lonely singleton forever. Oh sad Bridget Jones sock, wherefore art your Colin Firth?
If you were trapped under a piece of furniture for four days, what would you do with your time? If you had to be trapped under something heavy for four days that wasn't Alexander Skarsgård do you think you'd have the willpower and constitution to survive or would your pets have nibbled off your extremities by the end of day two? Any other Diablo III widows out there? Is there a support group for that?
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I'm a Diablo III widow. It's horrible. So far I haven't heard of a support group but it would be a darned good idea. These days he's so into the game that by the time he gets to bed I'm dreaming of cake and pink elephants. No amorous activities whatsoever for my man.
What is it about blokes that lets them believe a computer game is more fun than bedroom fun times?
"If you had to be trapped under something heavy for four days that wasn't Alexander Skarsgård" - thanks now I'm thinking thoughts that are really not suitable for work time. Luckily he is on the telly tonight, so I can delay these thoughts until then.
I think my flatmates would eventually notice I was missing, well I hope so anyway. I think there needs to be some automated checking in system that single people can sign up for. E.g. if I don't login to FB for more than three days, an alarm is triggered, and a search party is sent out.
I live with my 3 sons and yes they too have discovered Diablo 3!! I think they only come out of their rooms to eat and go to the loo! I keep asking myself why but for the life of me I cannot get the facination, it must be a man thing!! I think if my dresser fell on me my cat would let everyone know! when he is hungry he starts to howl and if ignored he just gets louder and louder so hopefully someone would come and investigate why he is howling and rescue me! maybe.........hopefully lol
does being trapped under a duvet count ?
The other half would hear the sound of Diablo III not being played, and come rescue me. Failing that, I'd practise imitating the Mr Whippy jingle till people showed up in search of choc-coated soft serve.
"Surely once he ran out of loo paper and was unable to track down any clean socks he could come looking for me"
Um - in our house, we just use tissues if the loo paper runs out... Awkward...
@Moata
"Any other Diablo III widows out there? Is there a support group for that?"
I think there's a WoW guild...
Whats Diablo III?
There was a report in a USA newspaper about a guy in Birmingham Alabama was dead at his work station for three days before anyone realised.
I would not count on Silver Fox noticing your absence until hunger pains set in. Men are not known to be that observant.
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So now we know that when you run out of loo paper, you go looking for socks. Note to self: never borrow socks from that household.