There are any number of potential life-threatening accidents just waiting happen right inside your home. Your domicile is full of hazards. Honestly, if you managed to make it out of your home to the relative safety of a workplace today, just give yourself a little pat on the back by way of congratulations. But careful! Don't twist too quickly...you may pull something you'll need later.
Speaking as a somewhat clumsy individual it was with no small amount of horror that I read of the plight of Oregon woman Virginia Cartier who, after trying to move a dresser, was trapped underneath it for four days.
Given that my own dresser is both tall and dangerously overloaded with a confusingly large collection of pairs of tights, there is every chance that I too could become victim of Accidental Furniture Impingement.
But what if I were to become trapped under a heavy piece of furniture for four days? Would the world notice my absence? Would the lack of tweets, or indeed blog posts, be enough to tip people off that something was awry?
Given that I don't actually live alone, my guess is that the Silver Fox would notice if I didn't emerge...eventually. I mean, I know he's been pretty into his Diablo III the past couple of weeks but he would actually notice if I were strangely absent for days on end, I hope.
Surely once he ran out of loo paper and was unable to track down any clean socks he could come looking for me.
At the very least I can be reasonably sure that he would lose track of the remote control at some point and that might eventually lead him to the bedroom only to find me severely dehydrated and slipping in and out of consciousness. I'm sure that after checking under me for the remote, he might get around to, I don't know, administering first aid.
Yes, the benefits to not living alone are indeed numerous and varied.
Mind you, if my dresser did pin me to the floor for several days, I might at least have a bit of time on my hands to finally find the partner to that one nondescript black sock that seems destined to be a lonely singleton forever. Oh sad Bridget Jones sock, wherefore art your Colin Firth?
If you were trapped under a piece of furniture for four days, what would you do with your time? If you had to be trapped under something heavy for four days that wasn't Alexander Skarsgård do you think you'd have the willpower and constitution to survive or would your pets have nibbled off your extremities by the end of day two? Any other Diablo III widows out there? Is there a support group for that?
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