Toast and flamethrowers

Last updated 12:42 22/06/2012

Much of this week I have been borderline obsessive about: bread, the Aliens franchise, and photographic images.

When is bread not bread? When it's toast.The bread part of this triumvirate of persistent wool-gathering is because of scone toast.
Scone toast is a newish bready* product and part of its allure is that it's damn difficult to find. There is never any at our usual supermarket and, making a special trip last night to more far flung aisles, the silver fox returned victorious with the last loaf in the place. Truly, scone toast is the holy grain grail of breakfast foods.

Scone toast is delicious with its crispy golden exterior and its inside all soft and warm like a cuddle from a chubby person.

Mind you, you do have to get past the minor issue of that fact that it's got the wrong name. Scone toast is not toast at all, it's bread. And I am exactly the kind of person who would not buy a product for a petty reason like that. Why couldn't they have just called it Scone toast bread? Why did they have to be so presumptuous about the toasting? Part of me feels like a traitor to the English language for consuming the stuff...but that part is not my stomach, which is very happy with the arrangement, actually.

So that's my first preoccupation. The second is rather less comforting. As far as my current interest in the Alien franchise goes, this would be because ever since I saw Prometheus last weekend, I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. The birth and reproduction analogies, the various parent-child relationships, Michael "hot freak" Fassbender. I have been mentally replaying scenes from various Alien films in my head all week. No wonder I'm not sleeping well.

And so it was that Aliens provided the inspiration for my latest "photo manipulation is not my forte" creation. For some time I've been thinking that I should create a cover image for the Blog Idle Facebook page. But what sort of image? How exactly do you encapsulate what this blog is about? It's not really about anything, specifically. What sort of thing would visually represent the content of this blog?

How about my face superimposed on Ellen Ripley aiming a flame thrower at a meerkat with large fangs and laser eyes?

Here's one I prepared earlier:

Blog Idle. In a nutshell.

I dunno. What do you think? Does this accurately represent Blog Idle to you? I'm thinking about doing something with zombies in it for future versions but am willing to take advice on what sort of shonky photoshop creations you'd like to see emblazon the Facebook page in the future.

The other photographic fun is in the form of a new tool on the DigitalNZ website that lets you pull a bunch of heritagey images from museums, libraries, archives and galleries together into themed collections. I made one last night called What have you come as? And another enterprising person has made an Awkward Portraits set. Laughing at weird photos on the Internet is one thing - laughing at weird photos on the Internet that are actually from New Zealand is even better. I mean seriously, what were these people thinking?

Anyway, questions for today: What is the deal with Scone toast? Suggestions for future visual Blog Idle vignettes welcome. Any awkward or tragi-comic treasures from DigitalNZ that you've stumbled upon?

* Unnecessary fact. I took notes for this post on my iPhone and it wanted to change "bready" to "breast". It's almost as if it knows that carbs go straight to my boobs...

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Ms+S   #1   01:01 pm Jun 22 2012

I tried your Scone Toast bread last week and was dissapointed. No flavour at all, and it was just like a warmed up bit of plain bread because it is so thick. Yuk. Won't be wasting my money on it again.

Leon   #2   01:06 pm Jun 22 2012

Talking of auto-correct, I am proud to say that the first word I taught my only two cell phones was "boobies".

Caitlin   #3   01:14 pm Jun 22 2012

The scone toast is so good! Especially with Anathoth jam and whipped cream... Mmmm. Not so good for my diet, though. I also noticed the misnomer, was slightly irked, but decided I'd forgive them given its such a yummy idea.

viffer   #4   01:14 pm Jun 22 2012

What's the deal with this Toast Scone Toast anyway? Why is it the holy graingrail of toasts/scones/bread? IS it because it's rare (I note the label says "Limited Edition", not "Limited Production"), or is it laced with crack or hallucinogens? (Given your strange appearance in "The Moata Ripley Meerkat of Doom Adventure", it could be both...) Despite the fangs and lasereyes, the meerkat still looks cute and cuddly.

Seonaid   #5   02:00 pm Jun 22 2012

Useless fact number one and my dodgy third hand claim to fame: My husband's father was an electrician by trade, and also a "special effects pioneer". He worked on Alien (and Space 1999 and other movies and programmes of the age), including a James Bond or two. My husband has lots of tales to tell about the dodgy special effects that were really quite clever at the time. We like your photoshopping!

Scone Toast? Hmmm. Might have to try that out from curiosity!

Jellybean   #6   02:59 pm Jun 22 2012

It first came to my attention a few weeks ago via a hideously annoying radio add with two boys yelling TOASTBREADTOASTBREAD! So awful. Here's my question to those that have purchased said product . . . How many scone toast bread bits do you get in a bag?

Oh and Moata, I LOVE the possible new cover image. You's a bad ass meerkat killing machine.

&rew   #7   03:48 pm Jun 22 2012

I had never heard of Scone Toast before. I'll look out for it. Maybe it can replace my occasional treat (Vogel's Fruit & Spice Extra Thick).

I think your blog title image is pretty good. But to make it more "you", I'd add you correcting Newt's grammar while battling the alien laser vampire meerkat. And yes, it needs zombies - you could probably recolour the meerkat slightly to suit, add some blood and unfocussed eyes.

Talking of awkward portraits, this is my current favourite: Something about the suit, and being on a swing, says "fun". But the look on the kid's face says "One day, when I'm all grown up and you're old and senile, I'm going to get you for this."

AJ   #8   04:19 pm Jun 22 2012

I don't understand. Just make actual scones.

Elphaba   #9   04:37 pm Jun 22 2012

Scones, or toast - but not together.

Ripley is a hero - but I'd like to see the whole 'princess leia' bikini thing going on. Rather than meerkats, perhaps on boy racers?

And while I'm on this totally Friday-itis rant, why is it that my Mr Elphaba can have Stars Wars pictures up in the rumpus room, but when I found a Star Trek poster, he says no to going up it?

David   #10   05:41 pm Jun 22 2012

Moata, while I honestly can't say I share your meerkatophobia (I find them cute & appealing actually), I am in awe of your photoshop mockup. It makes me want to upgrade my mad scientist skillset so I can have my very own "alien laser vampire meerkat" as &rew puts it.

I would, however, have gone one tiny step further, and stuck a frikkin' laser on its head. Is that so wrong?

PS: I also saw Prometheus at the weekend. I managed to enjoy myself immensely despite the plot holes and the supposedly megabrained scientits (yes, I did that deliberately) being bloody stupid; and I didn't sleep well afterwards either:-)

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