Slowly but surely I find myself gaining the trappings of adulthood. I have purchased whiteware. At the weekends I can be found looking at house foundations and inspecting crappy bathroom lino at open homes. And slowly but surely I find myself more and more interested in the news.
In my younger years I avoided it other than the weather and maybe the sports; now I watch the whole evening bulletin with interest. I even watch news over breakfast, eschewing cartoons entirely.
But that doesn't mean I've lost any of my enthusiasm for things childish, or news stories that are, shall we say, "quirky".
So I present to you, dear readers, a recap of my favourite things "newsish" in the last week.
Are balls bullish? - Jeremy Renner, who up until The Avengers I had always thought of as "the poor woman's Nathan Fillion", has recently stated that he would have "sold a testicle" to be part of the Bourne movie franchise. Given that he is starring in the latest Bourne film, The Bourne Legacy, this prompts several questions. First, did he sell the testicle? Second, what is the going rate for celebrity gonads? Third, where do you purchase said sacks? For some reason I'm picturing a woman wheeling a wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow crying "cockles and testicles, alive, alive-oh!"
But that's probably not how it works. I'm guessing.
Gurning for gold - This morning I woke early and was pleased to see that our Olympic team had struck gold in the rowing. Not because I am interested in rowing but because it means we currently have the same number of gold medals as Australia. Later on in the Olympic coverage TV3 had Melissa Davies interviewing Nick Willis on the eve of his rampant masochism 1500m running thing, and in the background the guy at right appeared, with quite an odd look on his face, stood for a bit, turned a bit and left again. Now, one of three things could be happening here. The gentleman in question has had a stroke or is suffering from Bell's palsy and that's just his normal face, in which case this is still a very respectable photobombing effort. Nice work, sir. If the gurning is not a result of a stroke then it's an outstanding photobombing effort. If this guy just happened to wander into shot and out again at the correct time, then no points for photobombing but woo hoo! You're at the Olympics! And you got on telly! Good job!
Toy soldiers - What's not to love about the Swedes who dropped teddy bears from an aeroplane in restricted Belarusian airspace?* The teddy bears had parachutes and carried slogans supporting human rights!
Yet again my imagination goes into overdrive with this story. I like to think that one really hardboiled teddy bear, possibly chomping on a cigar, walked amongst the plush paratroopers before they were dropped, urging them to do their duty (while below them the My Little Pony cavalry did their best to gain ground) with support from Panda tanks. "This ain't no job for beanie babies, I can tell ya that!" Sergeant Ted McHuggikins would yell at his men.
They were all so very brave!
So, I don't know if anything in the news has tickled you especially this week but feel free to share it in the usual fashion. Questions for the day - Which celebrity testicle would go for the most moolah? Was Nick Willis' mate in the background really photobombing or just in the right place at the right time? What do you think of Teddy paratroopers?
Have a great Friday, everyone!
* Another great thing about this story is the photo that accompanies it. We have a gurning contender from Sweden, ladies and germs.
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