Let's elect an ambassador for humanity
If you, like me, have made it to the end of the working week without bashing the office printer to death with its own bypass tray, then join me in giving yourself a little pat on the back.
Done? Good, then let's get on shall we?
Today, if you weren't aware of it, is Gay Red Shirt day. A day on which we think carefully about whether we want the word "gay" to be synonymous with "stuff we don't like". I can only speak for myself, but after years of watching South Park, and going through a phase where I blithely used it in just exactly this fashion I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather not do that. This gay-friendly flowchart spells it out nice and clearly.
I need to explain this to you so you don't get weirded out by the site of the Silver Fox and myself wearing matching outfits.
In the past this has been pretty much my only "you're not going out dressed like that" bottom line. I don't even like it when we both wear stripes, but let's just consider this a special occasion.
It's just unfortunate that in addition to being an "angry bird", I'm also "somewhat nonplussed that my double chin is so visible in this picture. Squawk!
Another thing that has made me slightly frowny in the last week is the item pictured at right.
Sometimes of a weekend, the Silver Fox "lures" me into pet shops in an attempt to put me in the vicinity of cute puppies so that I will consent to buying one. This doesn't work for two reasons.
First, we've already decided that we're not getting a dog until we buy a house.
Second, I am as easily distracted by guinea pigs, rabbit-walking leashes (really, you can get those) and fish tank accessories as I am puppies.
And now I can add "novelty rubber chickens that kind of look like Bogan-Christmas-Elvis" to this list.
Does anyone else think this is unnecessarily specific and random for a pet toy? Do we think the pooch who ends up playing with this will appreciate the painted on chest hair poking out of the singlet?
Does anyone else think it kind of looks like Jethro West? This "thing" will haunt my dreams...
Confusion of a more botanical kind confronted me later that day at Countdown when I was confronted with this "Mardis Gras" house plant.
It seems that though gilding the lily is frowned upon, covering it in glitter is apparently fine.
I don't know why. The last thing I want people to think when they come over to my house is "oh, she takes her plants out clubbing with her".
I feel like we should somehow be able to blame Suzanne Paul for this.
And last, but by no means least, I mentioned in last Friday's post that I would be going to hear Michael Palin talk later that night.
It was an interesting talk and I've since had nightmares where my flight to Auckland is redirected via the Amazonian Rainforest and I'm in danger of getting lost ... so it must have had some effect on me.
The main excitement though was getting my photo taken with Michael Palin. Which I have technically achieved below.
But let's face it. It's not quite like that time I got friendly with noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker. There's actually quite a lot (other than the stalking) going on in this photo.
There's a strange trick of perspective that makes the woman to the left of me look like she right next to me and has a tiny head when in fact she was a couple of metres back.
There's also the straps of the backpack on the woman behind me making me look like I have antennae and might be on a mission to make first contact with the human race. If I actually were an alien, I feel that Michael Palin would actually make a really good representative for humanity. Smart, affable and not at all put off by stuff that seems mental (he is a former Python, after all). I think he'd make a great ambassor for Planet Earth. Should we have a vote on this now so that we're not caught on the hop should an alien contingent turn up?
Given that we've all been spectators to an election that we couldn't take part in, how about an imaginary one that you can be involved with? Who gets your vote as the human most suited to meet the aliens when they turn up and offer them a cup of tea and a comfortable chair?