Speaking as the middle child here - I am the youngest of twins and we have a little brother. I too was often left out as my twin sister and lil brother formed a bond, and I would say the dynamics are still there today. If we are all together they tend to gravitate towards eachother. But then, I have exacerbated that but being the only married, pregnant one :)

We had twins first up, and I have to admit that even if I wanted a third, I'd be put off by the same odd-one-out concern. As it is, I'm too scared of having twins again to take the risk! My husband is one of three and now, as adults, they get along brilliantly, but my mil has often told me about all the ganging up that happened in their childhood. From what I understand, in a lot of three child families the one that gets left out changes depending on stages, interests etc. So maybe it won't always be Finn - I bet once he's a bit older they'll have a their own brotherly dynamic. Thing is, they'll each grow up with their own perspectives on their childhood which may surprise you when they talk about it in later years.

I was the odd one out as a kid, not because I was the middle child but because there was a 5 year gap between me and my sister (also my sister was the only grandaughter and my brother was the oldest grandchild) but now as an adult I would say I am the closest to both siblings

Oh Donnelle! I wouldn't worry too much about the middle child syndrome. I am the 2nd (of 4) and was always the peacemaker between my brothers (#1 and 3), and between my little brother and sister, and i think it has made me a more empathetic person who likes to work out solutions that work for everyone. Finn might be, by nature, a bit more of a loner, but if you think he's missing out, maybe try to encourage a special friendship with someone at playgroup? Brothers will always fight, just wait until they're in their late teens and they'll be the best of friends!

I have a fantastic book called "The Birth Order Book" by Dr Kevin Leman that explains some of what tends to characterise first, middle, and youngest children. It's awesome for explaining some of the dynamics between children, and how to work with them effectively as a parent. I thoroughly recommend it to everyone!

As the oldest of 6, there were a number of 'middle children' in our house, but never one in particular. It was always changing - we all took a turn at feeling left out of something. What is interesting is that we all seem to be paired up, even now - each of the three older kids chose a younger one to 'buddy' up with. I never even noticed it until my mum pointed it out, but I tend to have a closer relationship with Child 4 - she can be a bit flaky, and somehow it became my responsibility to keep her in line - I was moaning about this to my mum, and she said that I had been doing that for her since I was 7, so why complain now! I think you will find that as Finn gets older, he will be more able to share Xander's interests eg lego, and they will develop their own relationship. Xander sounds like a kid who likes things that are different, and Vieve, being a girl, is different. Another option is to have another child hehe!

Thanks for helping me decide whether or not to have another child.

But seriously, can you do something to strengthen/foster the relationship between Finn and Xander? Perhaps get Finn interested in something that Xander is passionate about? Sounds like they might have lego in common once Finn gets a bit bigger and out of the "I don't want to build it, I only want to destroy it" phase.

Fighting all the time; ah, the memories! Whenever someone says to me that they are pregnant again, so that the child can be a playmate for the first, I laugh and laugh and laugh.

I come from a family of three kids (I am the youngest) and I don't think any of us would have it any other way. It was great fun. The relationship will change around a lot as they get older. I remember there being two vs one at some points (usually in the back seat of the car) but I also clearly remember the three of us banding together when we needed to (usually to remove/hide carpet stains or holes in the wall). I definitely want three.

I have 3 kids, oldest a boy and 2 girls. At the moment I can´t see any odd one out, the turns they take to fight with each other seem fairly evenly shared out. The older two are only in agreement when it comes to getting angry with the baby who, at 2 1/2 yrs has been nicknamed 'Dora la Destructora' (Dora the destroyer) because everything she touches is with the purpose of pulling apart, throwing on the ground or putting into water. I'm sure they'll be best of friends when they're older, as I am with my 2 siblings.