I'm geeky about movies to the point that I read about upcoming films on the internet, and one of my favourite sites is Ain't It Cool News. I read a story the other day that there's a plan afoot to remake The Exorcist as a TV miniseries - an interesting idea or blasphemy depending on your point of view.
Anyhow, the guy covering the story on AICN had this to say about the original film:
"I'm well aware that it's one of the greatest horror films of all time. That's pretty much undisputed. For a long time, when I was in my 20s and thought I knew everything, I blew this movie off. 'It's not really scary,' I would say. 'Much of it gets silly.'
Then I saw it after I got married with a kid on the way, and it scarred me. If you're a parent? THE EXORCIST is far more frightening than when you're younger and full of beans. Watching your daughter turn into some kind of alien thing in her bedroom, screaming obscenities and doing horrible things to herself - if that's not a metaphor for adolescence I don't know what is."
That's kind of how I'm feeling right now. My daughter's levels of, shall we say, independence, are hitting new heights. She seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time pushing the boundaries and asserting herself more when challenged about it. How does this relate to the above passage? She's cranking up the screaming and stomping when she doesn't get her way - not every time, mind you, just when she gets into a certain frame of mind. Sometimes it really does feel like "where did my sweet little baby go and what is this monstrous thing in my living room?"
We've developed a few new strategies to cope with the latest phase of development. First, there's the "time outs", for when she gets stuck in what I like to think of as an infinite feedback loop, where she can't be placated and just keeps repeating herself. This is usually required when she's over-tired or over-hyped. It's also the state that most puts me in mind of the Exorcist reference.
We've also got some tactics for cajoling that work well when she's just being difficult and won't do as she's asked. When we're out and about, strangers make a useful reference point , as in "the waiter will come and tell you off". Mummy and daddy can tell her off until we're blue in the face, but the idea that a stranger might tell her off seems to get things moving pretty quickly. There's also the threat of a phone call to [insert random family member here], which seems to hold some mystical weight.
Making things into a game is proving useful too. If I can't get her into her pyjamas in the evening, I get her to run across the room and jump into them (kind of - it works in principle anyway). Taking turns is another one. If she's resisting having her hair washed, she gets to take a turn at rinsing it herself first, though she usually winds up pouring the water into her face. And hey, if all else fails, there's always the trusty bribe to fall back on.
How is/was your experience with a two-year-old? What strategies have you got to share with us? Or if you haven't got there yet, are you looking forward to it or dreading it? I know this post kind of focuses on the negative, but there's a heck of a lot of good fun stuff at this age too!
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As the risk of making you lose the will to live here's my wee tid-bit of advice:
if you think 2 year olds are a hand-full, wait until she's 3!!!!!! I remember another mother in the ENT Dr's waiting room saying to me "forget about terrible two's, it's more like the f*#!ing horrific threes!!!"
Distraction. I found it all too easy to get into a batlle of wills with him (a battle that non-one will come out happy with), so now I just distract him, and it works every time.
Ahhh two year olds. They are in interesting species. My daughter is two and she sure knows how to throw a tantrum when she wants to. It really depends what the issue is as to how I (attempt to) handle it. Time-outs are usually the result of her throwing a tantrum because I have asked her to do something or have stopped her doing something. They seem to be effective. The first time-out lasted 15 minutes because she refused to stay in the chair. But after that she got the message. If she is having melt-down over nothing at all I just ignore her and leave the room. Usually it winds her up more for about a minute, then a few minutes later she is over it. The most frequent reason though is that I've told her it's nap/bed time. That one is easily fixed though. I just tell her 'ok then, I'm going to go have a caterpillar (her favourite soft toy) by myself'. This makes her scream 'no! mine caterpillar!' and she runs off to her room and climbs in her bed before I can get there. Works like a charm. Not sure what I will do when she finally figures out my game...
Umm @Kate #2 - I just lost the will to live. I have 2 1/2 year old twin girls and I thought 3 was the magic number? I am weeping into my tea. Which might soon become vodka.
i second #1 it is horrible hearing parents tell their children that they will get the lady to come tell them off!, i know that it can be difficult dealing with young children btu turning us into the bogeyman is distressing for us. i love kids and having them watch me with sad eyes as they wait for me to tell them off is not pleasent
@Anna #3 - get a big bottle. I found 3 is worse, but shorter - hopefully they'll be over it by about 3 1/2.
Ha.If you think this is a "difficult " phase wait till she's 15.
@ Kate - you just reminded me of a time when I was complaining about one of my children to an elderly friend who responded with 'Toddlers! piece of cake - wait till they reach thier fifties!' The look on her face and the tone of voice convinced me she was serious but the laugh it gave me cheered me up all day (and still makes me smile now).
My Sister in Law picks up the phone and pretends to ring the police to come and arrest her kids if theys don't eat their veges!! They're both now terrified of police officers- a pretty terrible situation if they ever need their help!
@ #8 Steph- yep I was a 15 year old girl once and Dad always said "one day you'll have a daughter and you'll understand what you've put us through" I'm petrified!!!!
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Sounds like you have the situation under control. Except the waiter thing, just a request from people like me who have been turned into ogres in the eyes of small chilren (and not in a good Shrek kind of way). Please don't do this - our jobs are hard enough without being viewed as a horrible person. Admittedly, the waiter probably will never know but I have heard people tell children to be good or the Policeman will come and get them. (I actually heard one mother tell her child to eat his peas or the policeman would tell him off). This does untold damage as attitudes formed when small carry on even when experience and commonsense tell our brains to over-rule them. Teachers, doctors, firemen, waiters, school 'office ladies', 'shop ladies' policemen et al will thank you.