When my twins turned two, their bedtime routine changed. Suddenly it actually (mostly) worked. Dinner, bath, into bed, baboo and five books; I Love You, Little Bear had to be the last book. And then they'd stay in bed (mostly) and fall asleep. By themselves. No longer did the routine include multiple rounds of "get back in bed, it's night-time, time for sleep".
It was a bit of a revelation. I could actually accomplish something in the evenings, without having to endlessly deal with endless toddlers of endlessness.
Finn still often woke crying around 10pm, but (mostly) he'd have a drink, ask to go back to bed, then shut his eyes and say "Mmmm" when we tucked him back in bed. A revelation, I tell you.
Recently, though, I decided that it was time to remove baboo from the bedtime routine. I was touched out and fed up; I didn't want to wean them completely, but I needed to renegotiate to a level I was comfortable with.
Hubby took over the post-bath routine, in order to avoid bedtime baboo bawling. I was a little worried that we might revert to long, tearful evenings (and they might cry, too), but they quickly adapted.
Last night hubby was busy, so I tackled the routine. To my relief, there were no demands for baboo. I got them dressed, brushed their teeth, and tucked them into bed. I got out a book and sat next to Finn's bed.
"I read it!" Finn demanded. I handed him the book, and got another one.
"I read it!" he demanded again. I gave him that book, too, and he happily started to flick through the pages.
I shrugged, and moved to read by Vieve's bed. By the time I'd read one book to her, Finn had put his book down, lain back on the pillow, and adopted the glassy-eyed stare of the 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-blast-off-to-dreamland variety.
Apparently that's what he does every night. Hubby hands him a book, reads a story or two to Vieve, and Finn is done for the day. I'm a little sad that he doesn't want to be read to at night, but it fits absolutely with his independent "I do it!" personality. (Not content with using oven mitts to put an orange in the oven, he's recently put an apple in the microwave and started it cooking, turned on the kettle, and melted a foam plane wing in a warm toaster. He's inventive and persistent, a powerful combination if I can only get him to use his powers for good.)
Don't get me wrong; bedtime isn't perfect, and it usually falls apart on the nights when I most desperately need them to sleep. But it is so much easier, quicker, and more reliable than it used to be. We got there in the end!
What are your best bedtime tips?
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Congratulations! It makes all the difference when they go to bed happily most of the time and you get your evenings back. Well done for reaching that milestone.
We've just started weaning our daughter off her beloved bottle (she turned 1 last week). And boy is she mad at us! She rolls around on the floor screaming when we offer her milk in a cup - with one eye on us in case we change our minds and give her teat back. She also refuses to eat breakfast even though she still gets milk, just from a cup not a bottle. It's our first major battle of the wills, so I'm not giving in but I also hope she gets over it soon!
@sarahf Why wean? My son still has a 100ml bedtime bottle and a 150ml wake up bottle and he is just over 2. We brestfed until 11 months, and then went onto the bottle.
I do not wish to critise you, I am genuinely interested as there may be a reason I need to start bottle-weaning my boy.
For a bit more derailment of the topic - when to wean, how to wean, and why to wean are all parent and child specific. If you're happy with the way you do things, go for broke. Never feel pressured or insecure about it. If you and your child are happy, that's all that really matters.
I grew up down in Invercargill, so every Summer my mother had to deal with the big fight over going to bed while it was still sunny. My memories of my childhood are why I won't have kids - I was a little terror. :P
@whit #4 - We're mostly doing it so she eats more, because she's still using milk as her main food source and won't eat until she's had a bottle. Other than that I just thought that's what you were meant to do. I haven't had any useful advice so I'm just sort of trucking my way through it and hoping I get it right. I have my doubts though to be honest
@sarahf: "I'm just sort of trucking my way through it and hoping I get it right" is pretty much the definition of parenting!
@Sarahf and Donnelle: Trucking your way through it and hoping to get it right is pretty much my definition of parenting too. My little 2 1/2 yr old has also just learned to go to sleep in her bed with little more than cuddles from mummy, which is great! Buuuuut, my 5 yr old has decided that it is now time to reclaim her Mummy Time that disappeared when her baby sister came along! So she's now demanding cuddles and special attention at 11 o'clock at night! As to bottle weaning, Sarahf is your baby too young to try a cup with a curly straw? That worked well with my youngest, but she also had her 2 older siblings' examples to go by and learned about cups very quickly.
Sarah (not picking on you just passing on wisdom I got!) they do start to eat more - they still need milk for growing and it is perfectly normal to have milk in a bottle at 1 before bed!! They let you know themselves when they are ready to wean (or you can try and encourage it - but 1 is very early) If it settles her just go for it I say. She will eat more in time, but 1 is really the age they just START eating better - and you can offer food beofre milk during the day. We did a mix of bottle, cup and breast depending :)
My take on this, for one who is miles beyond that time now: My eldest had a severe disability that affected his ability to eat, he was bottle fed using a special bottle until he was four, no solid food at all until then. By the time No2 came along I wasn't too worried about anything she was doing, she was normal after all. So she continued to have a bottle until she was well over 2. I remember my Mum criticising and my response was "when she's 16 it'll be a different bottle I'm worried about". She gave it up when she was ready, no fuss. Toilet training was much the same. I refused to worry, I can't actually tell you when she came out of nappies during the day, but the night she came out of night naps is an historic one, it was the night of the "New Millenium", she was just over 4! She announced she didn't want to wear a nappy, and went to bed with her Gran as we were going out, she woke up and left a drop in the bed behind her, and that was the only wet bed we ever had. Having a disabled child first made me so much more relaxed. (Btw, No2 is currently 16, is doing NCEA level 2, achieving excellence grades in a heavily science based curriculum, a lovely girl, her "delay" has not held her back at all).
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Well done Donelle! Enjoy your hard earned evenings :)