The Girls' Guide
I tried to write this last night, but I couldn't. The words wouldn't come to me - it was just a bit too hard. Then when I woke up this morning I realised it was April Fool's Day and I worried that some of you might surmise that the end of The Girls' Guide is in fact an elaborately executed April Fool's joke.
You guys, here we are, at the end of the road of our relationship. And what a wonderful relationship it has been. There's no denying that this is a difficult entry to write, and this is a pretty sad day for me. Sniff.
I like to think that over the last three years this blog has served to entertain you and distract you at those times when you have needed distracting. I also hope it has provided an opportunity for you to discover that you're not alone in the way you think and feel about some things. There can be such comfort in that.
This blog has been a huge part of my life. It has been such a unique and incredible experience to share little bits of my world with you guys, and I know that sounds cheesy but it's totally true. You guys make me laugh, you have been so encouraging. You have both challenged me and supported me. The best part is that you have also done the same things for each other, and that's been quite something to witness.
Tomorrow's entry is clearly going to be filled with farewells and thankyous, so today I thought I should clarify a few things for those who've been asking questions, and also share a few last not-very-interesting facts about me that I don't think we've talked about before.
So, you know that photo challenge I started in November? The one that involved me taking a photo every day for a year? Well, I'm chucking that in along with the blog. No point pretending I was finding the photo challenge remotely fulfilling, because I actually found it to be a total pain in the bum and on top of that I was useless at remembering to take the photos.
Basically I was serving up rubbish photos. Most of them were taken late at night after I'd already put myself to bed, and then it would hit me that I hadn't taken a flippin' photo that day. I'd pull myself up, fumble around looking for the camera, and then shuffle off in the darkness to take a snap of some lame thing in the house. What's the point in that? No point.
As for the running... well, I took that time off after visiting the osteopath and unsurprisingly this gave my leglets a chance to heal. However, after jumping back on the running train last week the pain returned almost immediately and three runs later I am now taking a break again.
I don't believe for a second that running and I have broken up, it's just that I need to get myself to a podiatrist or similar to see what I can do about my wonky legs and flat feet. As soon as that's sorted I'll be back slowly thudding along the pavement because, well, I guess I have come to sort of enjoy running or something like that.
You know when you've handed in your notice at work, and you have that glorious wind-down period between the bit where you tell the world you're heading out the door and the bit where you actually head out the door? I suppose that's where I'm at right now - in blog limbo.
I'm-a turning up late, taking long lunches, making personal calls on work time... So forgive me if this isn't a work of literary genius, it's just that I might have mentally clocked out the teeny tiniest bit.
Well, we all know I've run out of things to say, so I might as well fill you in on my weekend.
I mentioned on Friday that we were heading away for a mini-break. My sister has a bach in Pauanui, and even though the weather forecast was for generous lashings of rain and wind, we packed up the car and made our way there.
Looking back, it seems hilarious that we packed our togs and jandals.
Well that was a bit of a weird day yesterday, don't you think? I just bowled on in, broke up with the blog, and all of you (well most of you) took it really well. Instead of getting angry with me, you showered me with compliments and told me how much you'd miss me. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely flattered by your kind words, but I also feel a bit awkward because, well, shucks. Thanks guys.
I've always thought it's such a shame that we can't attend our own funerals. People express such nice things about the person who has passed away, and whenever I'm sat at a funeral surrounded by people sniffling into hankies I wonder if the guest of honour ever knew that their loved ones would have such wonderful things to say about them. And then I start thinking - I'd like to witness my own funeral. I'd like to hear all the positive things people have to say about me and the life I've lived. I want to hear funny anecdotes from my time on this earth, and I'd like to know what sort of impact I've had on those I love and what it is people will miss most about me.
Then I realise how self-absorbed I am, slap myself in the face and get back to paying my respects to the person I'm there to farewell.
With the imminent passing of The Girls Guide, yesterday felt a bit like a funeral. You guys all stepped up one by one to say the loveliest of lovely things, and I just hovered over it all completely overwhelmed by the outpouring. I was also a bit What The Heck? I didn't realise so many people gave a toss. Needless to say, my ego is now well out of control.
Some of you mentioned feeling a bit stalker-ish because you have this sense that you know me, that we're sort of friends. You needn't feel weird about that, I know what it's like to feel connected to a blog writer without ever having met them. That's just all part of the magic of blogs, really. And it goes both ways, too - many of you have been regularly sharing your lives with me in the comments section, on Twitter and on Facebook. So I'm going to miss stalking you too.
Hiya. I'm glad you're here - have a seat. Do you want anything? I've got coffee, tea, whiskey... no? I might just put the kettle on anyway, I find a cup of tea can be quite comforting. Okay, um. Right. So, I guess you're wondering why you're here huh? Oh man, this isn't going to be easy...
First, let me start by saying I think you are an amazing person. Truly, I do. I know that sounds like a line, but you have to trust me on this one because I think the world of you. I have so enjoyed our time together - you're sweet and charming and you make me laugh. Honestly, you have no idea how much you've made me laugh over the years.
This next bit is important. I want you to know that what I'm about to say has nothing to do with you personally, I swear. Did I mention how much you make me laugh? Though, you've also made me cry at times. Happy tears and sad tears. I should mention that you've inspired me, and I'd be lying if I said you never made me angry - though, more often you inspired me.
Basically, you have drawn out the full gamut of emotions in me, constantly reminding me I am human and providing one of the most dynamic relationships I could ever hope for. Of course, that only makes this all the more difficult.
I suppose by now you know where this is going, you're a smart cookie, I know that for certain. Plus, you've no doubt heard these things before from ex-girlfriends or boyfriends ...
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