Dreamy but inappropriate
Hey, I have a question for you: have you ever had an inappropriate dream about someone and then felt all weird whenever you encountered them from there on in?
Recently Joel confessed that he'd had an inappropriate dream about someone he deals with reasonably regularly at work. I guess he felt a bit bad about the dream, even though he knew it wasn't his fault, and telling me helped alleviate some of the guilty feelings he might have had.
We had a laugh, and both thought that was the end of it. However, a few days later he bumped into the subject of his dream and later recounted to me how he now felt incredibly awkward around her. At one point she made physical contact with him, and because of the dream he had frozen still - suddenly unable to deal with what would have otherwise been a perfectly natural situation between them.
The whole thing reminded me of a dream I had years ago. I can still remember it very clearly...
*Cue tinkly dream-state music*
It was a winter's night and I was sitting around the fireplace in a semicircle with a bunch of close friends. I was sharing a blanket with a friend, let's call him Olaf. Even though I was around twenty at the time, the whole thing played out as if I was thirteen. My little heart was racing and I suddenly had incredibly strong feelings for Olaf that I had never experienced before.
I had a hunch that he was experiencing the same feelings about me because every now and then we'd catch each other's eye and my coy smiles would be returned. Finally, he took my hand under the blanket and I felt giddy with joy. I couldn't believe I hadn't liked him before that moment, and yet suddenly I was completely overwhelmed with feelings of first love.
For the rest of the dream we just sat there, secretly holding hands under the blanket while all our friends continued chatting around us.
*Cue tinkly coming out of dream-state music*
It wasn't exactly an inappropriate dream - in fact it was a little on the dull side as far as hook-up dreams go, but for me the feelings were very real. I remember waking up a bit bummed out that it wasn't true; not because I had realised I was actually in love with Olaf, but because that warm feeling of first love is so amazing.
From then on, whenever I saw Olaf I felt a bit weird. I didn't have any real life feelings for him, but I definitely tried to make myself look at him in a new light to see if there was any attraction to him buried deep beneath the surface. There wasn't.
To this day, whenever I think of Olaf, up pops this false memory of us holding hands under a blanket.
Which brings me back to my original question, have you ever had an inappropriate (or perhaps just a lovey-dovey) dream about someone only to have it completely change the way you look at that person?
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Yes to inappropriate dreams, but no to having it affect the way I relate to the person. I've been a bit embarassed for a day or two and then got over it. To me, those kinds of dreams express the potential for attraction to develop where it doesn't currently exist. It is just my subconscious mind contemplating the fact that a) I like that person platonically and b) they're my type, these being the two factors necessary for me to develop a romantic attraction for somebody. And acknowledging that potential exists makes it easier to ensure it never becomes more than potential.
No, I haven't. At least, not that I can now recall. However, the topic reminds me of a friend of mine who had a vivid dream that her boyfriend had cheated on her on a recent trip away. She told her boyfriend about the dream in the morning, but didn't take it seriously. He, on the other hand, was freaked out, and immediately confessed that he had in fact cheated while away on that trip. That was the end of the relationship!
I have this sort of dream all the time.
I never feel awkward afterwards, though. I don't think you have any power to control the content of your dreams so you shouldn't feel guilty about them.
Inappropriate dreams, definitely. Cant say as Ive ever been awkward around someone afterwards though. I have had one or two of those inappropriate dreams and not been able to remember whom the girl was, dammit.
Oh god yes! it was terrible. I even married this person in my dream!! And I stupidly told another friend of mine that I had a dream about this person and now she won't let me live it down. I went and saw my "dream" friend a while ago and we were sitting on the couch watching a movie and of course what thought popped into my head?? My dream!! I moved to the other end of the couch after that haha
When I was 18 I was doing the long distance thing with a guy. One morning he called me at 7am and demanded to know where I had been all night. I said I had been home in bed. Turned out that he had dreamed that I was out cheating on him and wanted to see if it was true. I was not impressed.
Haha yep - I had this at my last job. Had a dream about one of the girls I worked with that I had never felt attracted to before. After that I'd always have flashbacks whenever I'd see her and feel a bit weird. Finally one night after a few drinks at a work party I told her about my dream and we had a good laugh about it! Now whenever we bump into each other she always has a joke and asks me if I've been dreaming about her. Dreams are weird!
I dont recall having an innappropriate dream, but I have had a dream-cheating situation! I had a dream that I caught my partner with someone else - It wasnt someone I know, just a random chick that Ive never seen before. Well, when I woke up, I felt really weird about him, and he noticed. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He laughed and reminded me that it was just a dream, its never happened and never will.
We both had a wee chuckle about it, but its weird how real these dreams seem at the time!!
Interesting topic.... I have a boyfriend, things are going along quite average at the moment to be honest. Anyway about a month ago, i was out and got chatting to a nice boy at a party. Nothing happened, before you jump to conclusions, but he managed to get my number from someone and we have been texting etc, which is wrong i know, but it isn't bad texting, it's just friendly. (this story is going somewhere i promise)
Anyway so I am quite curious about new boy, but on Friday night i had a dream about him. We were kissing etc, and he was an awful kisser, like the worst i've ever had, he had his top off in the dream and his body was like a cold rock, and now i'm completely turned off him and will probably not be texting him again. hahahaha.
A guess that was just a warning to me wasn't it?? :)
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YES! Never happened till a few weeks ago. I put it down to sheer exhaustion from feild work, but I woke up and went...'that was odd'
Had a lovey-dovey (slightly innapropriate) dream about a friend (we'll call him Bob) who I've never looked twice at as anything more than a friend. I've known Bob for about eleven years and though it's not as awkward as Joels situation appears, I still get flashes of that dream whenever I see him. Was odd, but I've managed to separate the dream from reality and actually find it highly amusing...