The realities of renovation

I don't often get emails from you guys - probably because I haven't shared my special Girls Guide email address with you... and perhaps because you have no reason to email me. So when I received an email from a reader who wanted some advice about a sticky house-buying situation she has found herself in, I was more than happy to put on my know-it-all hat and send her a ridiculously long reply.

Then I realised I actually don't know it all. In fact, when it comes to her particular situation, I dare say I know very little indeed. So I thought I'd share her predicament and my response, and then you guys can do what you do best and give her the actual advice she needs.

THE PROBLEM
Our friend, let's call her Sarah, is looking to buy a house with her boyfriend. He has found a place he is really into, but it needs a lot of renovation work. This includes the main living area, bathroom, kitchen, bedrooms - basically everything needs doing up.

Sarah is not keen on undertaking such a huge renovation project and has some concerns that her boyfriend may not have the time to see the work through. Unfortunately, Sarah's lack of enthusiasm about the place has left her boyfriend a bit grumps. Together the couple decided not to put an offer down, but it turns out that the boyf has gone behind Sarah's back and contacted the agent to say they are still interested. Cheeky little monkey.

Naturally, Sarah doesn't want to upset her boyfriend, but at the same time she really doesn't like the house. Conundrum!

THE LONG-WINDED RESPONSE FROM JANE
Sarah's boyfriend sounds a lot like my boyfriend, and probably a lot of other people's boyfriends as well.

Joel really likes the idea of getting involved in a project and doing some DIY, but I think it's dangerous ground - especially for a first home. There are lots of things to consider when looking down the barrel of a major renovation project:

a) The time it will take out of your life to do the renovations
Renovations take time, and generally we humans are busy enough without having to worry about adding extra chores (and quite major ones at that) to the never-ending to-do list. Time is money, so even if you are saving on labour, tackling a do-up will cost you in your own time and all that is at the expense of all the other things you need to get done or enjoy doing.

b) How much it will cost
Everyone I talk to who has ever done renovations tells me that they ended up going over budget and it took longer than planned. If you're buying a house that needs a heap of work you'll have to be sure that your total buying budget takes into account how much you're going to have to spend on renovations. Then add a bit more because it will no doubt cost more than you expect!

c) The pressure it will put on your relationship
This is the real kicker; these guys are already at odds and they haven't even bought the place. WARNING! Renovations put a huge amount of pressure on couples, so it's imperative that both parties are dead keen on committing to the project or someone's going to end up very resentful and you might as well start hurling plasterboard at each other now to get some practice in.

d) You will be seriously inconvenienced

At various stages for quite some time your kitchen/bathroom/lounge/bedrooms will be in pieces. Not a fun way to enjoy a new home.

e) Do you have the skills?
Finally, if you both think you want to go ahead and renovate (despite all of the above), remember that a job worth doing is worth doing well. If you are not experts on plastering/tiling/wallpapering etc, you will likely end up doing a second-rate job or having to pay for contractors regardless. You might be happy with your mediocre workmanship, but I bet when it comes to selling the house potential buyers won't be so forgiving.

Things like a lick of paint, new curtains etc are not majors and are perhaps the kind of cosmetic changes you can consider when buying a house, but anything more than that will take some serious financial and time commitment and will require some quite advanced skills. Which is fine, if you're BOTH into the idea.

At the end of the day, Sarah and her boyfriend both have to be 100% sure about the house they're buying together. It's a huge financial decision and she's simply not comfortable committing to that level of renovation. If Sarah is contributing in any way to the purchase of the house, he can't force her to buy it and yes he might be disappointed that she doesn't share his vision, but he will get over that soon enough and when they find something that makes both of them excited, he'll soon realise why they had to wait for the right place.

I'm guessing Sarah's boyfriend loves her (hope so, they're planning on getting a house together), so even though he'll probably be a bit sulky he's surely got to realise that she has to be happy with a house before they can consider making an offer. I'm sure Sarah has the smarts to realise she shouldn't buy a house she doesn't want in order to spare the boyfriend's feelings.

I get that she doesn't want to upset him, but perhaps if she lets him know she's really excited about getting a house with him and that sure, she can see the place he likes has potential, but she'd like to keep looking because she knows this isn't the house for her, that could be a softer way of saying HELL NO.

So that's my two (hundred) cents. Of course, as mentioned, I've never found myself ensconced in a DIY project - mostly due to the reasons outlined above - so I'm far from an expert on the subject. Do you have some words of advice for Sarah?

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