The not-so-nice side of me

There are some things about my personality I'm not particularly fond of.

Wow, what an uplifting start to a blog entry huh?

It's true though, none of us are perfect, and I figure that recognising your weak points is a good thing.

It means when you're being an ass at least you realise you're being an ass and perhaps you might feel the appropriate amount of guilt about being such an ass.

That guilt may eventually lead to you not being such an ass in future!

So today, let's talk about the areas in which we suck - and perhaps together we can find ways to improve on those areas so that people stop saying nasty things about us behind our backs.

I'm sure my family and close friends could list a number of less-than-endearing qualities about me, but the one that I think is glaringly obvious to all is my total lack of patience.

When I was little, my sisters and I used to listen to the Music Machine album. Incidentally, I didn't click onto the fact that it's a Christian children's album until much later in life. That's not in any way relevant, but I just think it's interesting how kids take things at face value and don't judge things the same way adults do.

So anyway, we absolutely thrashed this record and I still vividly remember a song called 'Patience'. In the chorus Herbert the snail advised us to:

Have patience, have patience
Don't be in such a hurry
When you get impatient
You only start to worry
Remember, remember
That God is patient too
And think of all the times when others have to wait for you!

For some reason, as an innocent child - wide-eyed and ready to embrace all the world had to offer - I took Herbert the snail's advice, processed it to the point of complete understanding, and then swiftly biffed it out the window.

I am not a very patient person.

This far from delightful personality trait presents itself consistently in my everyday life. When I want something, I want it now. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and decide I might die if I don't get a particular thing that very day.

This has led to snap purchases of a big-screen TV, PS3, sewing machine, blender, waffle iron, dog, dehumidifier, laptop, stereo, DVD player, bedside tables... the list goes on. It really, truly does.

If there was a competition for impulse-buying I would be the undefeated champion of the world.

Generally speaking, when I go out and buy stuff at short notice it doesn't really affect anyone else (unless I need them to help me carry my new purchase from the car to the lounge).

However, there are definitely times when my impatience bubbles to the surface in order to bite off the head of an innocent bystander - most often Joel and members of my family.

I get frustrated when things don't happen as quickly as I'd like them to, and at those times I can be kind of, well, poisonous. Something as small as not being able to find something around the house or my computer not behaving the way it should can actually get me physically wound up.

Quite frankly, I am amazed I have gotten through nine disheartening months of house-hunting without actually exploding, but now that we're in the limbo phase of our offer being accepted and it actually going unconditional (any minute now...) I am like a walking time bomb.

I have been doing a lot of teeth-grinding and forehead rubbing over the last week - neither of these activities has proven very useful in easing my anxiety. Needless anxiety, I might add, because everything is actually running at the exact pace it should be. But is that fast enough for me? No.

Thankfully, there is no escape clause in our house contract that enables Joel to go running for the hills, so he's stuck with me. Bless him. For as impatient as I am, Joel has patience by the bucket load - can you imagine if he didn't? We would be a disaster.

Actually, I just need to quickly put something out there...

Joel, I am sorry for being unbearable lately and thank you for the flowers.

I am also sorry for just writing that on the blog because I may have just embarrassed you in front of your mates. Again.

I do know that I'm not the easiest person to be around when things are moving slowly, but here's my promise to you, dear blog readers:  I'm trying to work on relaxing and allowing time to do what it does best - sort stuff out. Here's hoping I remember that when we get around to the house renovations.

So now that I've admitted what a total dick I can be, why don't you share some of the things about your personality that you're not so fond of?

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