Retro or rubbish?
By NICK CHURCHOUSE - The Dominion PostI read a feature the other day about shaving. It was blathering on about the beauty of a cut-throat traditional shave, the essence of men's grooming. Ah, the writer exclaimed, recalling the silky smooth skin after a pampering from a properly trained barber.
I've a had a few retro shaves in my time. Getting back to the cut-throat core of scraping stubble off your cheeks. But I haven't enjoyed a single one of them.
They take too long and there's too much fussing and fluffing about. I think about it every morning as I pick up my 18-blade vibrating power surge Champion Zenith 900ZXV razor. I reach past the beautiful badger brush I bought once upon a time, in favour of the can of Macho Glide shaving gel, enhanced with aloe vera, jojoba root essence and virgin bee sweat from Madagascar.
A couple of douses with steaming hot water, a dab of lather on each cheek, and the Champion Zenith finishes the job in less time than it took Zorro to tailor his initials in the chest of a vanquished caballero.
I didn't bring this up to gloat about my morning routine, but rather to call into question the retro fascination that surrounds us.
Why would we hark back to the "old way of doing it" when the new way is so much easier and smoother?
How many people do you know who get around in something from their grandparents era, which is scratchy, 
ill-fitting and slightly musty smelling because they picked it out of a bargain bin at SaveMart and if they wash it, it will fall to pieces. A "classic", I think it's called.
I've got a beautiful old brown (they were all brown) wool suit I found for $2 in Timaru and got it adjusted to fit me. All up a new suit for $97. But it still feels like a $2 suit. It was designed in an era before trouser lining was de rigueur, before comfort was a factor in tailoring. Oh yes, it's a "classic". People swooned when I wore it once. "Great suit!" ... yeah but I can't sit down and I'm getting a rash on my inner thighs, I muttered after doffing my hat to them with a debonair wink.
Or what about those classic old bikes? Great to look at, crap to ride. Ever tried riding into a stiff Wellington southerly on a retro black (they were all black) bike with no gears and more technology in the ding-a-ling on the handlebars than in the bearings in the wheels?
I could say the same for a number of retro fixtures in life: those 1970s toasters (what about the crumpet function?); the 1960s plywood television (how do I plug the DVD in?); the 1920s leather briefcase you picked up in a garage sale in Newtown (where's the cellphone pocket?); the 1980s brick cellular phone (what do you mean I can't download Beached Whale on it?).
Technology joined us for a reason and has enhanced a squillion things in our everyday lives.
Sure, a lot of it is cheap mass-produced crap, but there's just as much modern artisanal design, meaningful manufacturing and practical processing as there was in the days of retro kitsch and the "true craftsman".
Even cleverer are the smarty pants boffins who dial up the retro-look and add modern functionality and convenience. An orange and brown 1970s teapot with an iPod dock and a GPS locator beacon, you say? I'll take four.
Do you love the classic kitsch enough to ignore decades of design evolution and tech innovation? Or do you upgrade your audio visual space station annually and want the latest Techno-Auto-WiFi bread maker for Christmas?
Where does your retro tolerance analogue dial/digital readout sit?
Sponsored links
Newest First
Oldest First
So long as it's comfy, I'll wear old-style clothing.
So long as it's functional, I'll use a teapot from the 1830's.
Really, really old crap bike? No thanks.
Terrible, gass-guzzling 1950's american car? Hell no.
Suit giving me a rash? Into the bin.
We had one of those old school wooden boxed t.v's in our flat. We had to get a box adapter thingee and stick it to the side of the t.v. If we wanted to watch a dvd we had to go flick a switch on the adapter. It looked pretty darn cool but took up a huge amount of room for such a small t.v.
Reminded me of this: http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/gadgets/2572614/Aussie-builds-wooden-iPod
In general I am more a fan of modern innovation. Some retro styles have a nice look, but I have no problem recreating the good parts of the retro with modern technology.
It really depends. Things like a cellphone, tv or car I'll go for the latest technology, my music I listen to generally on an iPod but would love to start a record collection just for the ambience factor.
Before all your dips, sauces and meals came pre-made in an ezi-squeeze bottle/plastic air tight packaging, you made them yourself. I am starting to take pleasure from that, being able to control how they taste and say with 98% conviction that there are no weird chemicals added.
But something I'd never stick with old fashioned for is women's feminine hygiene products. You know what I'm talking about - I'm pretty sure no woman, given the option, would choose to wear a nappy tied together with string over what's on offer these days.
I like my flatscreen TV, couldn't go back to a big box-type TV (wouldn't fit on the cabinet properly!), but, like MsM, I like making food the 'old fashioned way' from scratch, with real ingredients so when I eat it I know exactly what's in it and where it all came from. I even try to grow my own veges, herbs, etc so I don't have to buy them. Food is the one thing that is best the old fashioned way.
I don't want to go back to pre-microwave, penicillin, turbo-charged dentists' drills or anaesthetic days thank you very much. But do kind of like retro radios (as long as they can get FM), shoes, clothes and furniture (as long as it's comfy). Want to eat my cake and have it too!
I love everything retro. Im pretty sure that I was born in the wrong era. Things from back in the day have so much style. You had to really look after things and it made you treasure them so much more. Yeah sure a flatscreen/plasma/lcd/flash tv might have good picutre quality but my 'Trimate 1000' black and white possibly not even 10" screen that is also a radio and tape deck is soo much cooler!
Rather than the crap from eras past, I think my fascination is more in the money savings from doing stuff that our grandparents did - grow a vege garden, make jam, make homemade bread. For me it is therapy to slow down and chill for a little while, beating up bread dough is a good release too! Its also nice to have veges that taste like plant matter rather than cardboard.
What a stupid and time-wasting entry, you suck. The badger brush method of shaving is waaaaaaaaayyy more comfortable and effective than the stuff in a can.
Nice Kiwi blokes - shame about the women
'Brainless' stunt by NZ 'idiots' a global sensation
Praying for Ben after explosion
Miley Cyrus tour bus overturns, one dead
Kiwi Kevin Percy claims Harry Potter castle
Mother of separated twins: 'We don't want them back'
Women pay top dollar for evening with bachelor
Nice Kiwi blokes - shame about the women
Rokocoko to play against All Blacks
As Henry shows, footballers can't be trusted
$450,000 march is political manipulation
I much prefer my morning shave ritual with my single blade safety razor than I did with any of the multiblade monstrosities on offer today. It costs me less than $2 a week to shave and the at $5 for a pack of 5 razors versus $20+ for 4 multiblade cartridges it is money in the bank.
With the whole retro thing though, sometimes it is great to have something that was crafted versus mass produced like everybody else.