Strippers and sweeping generalisations
BY LANE NICHOLSMy last post stirred up an ethical and moral debate about the kind of men who get off watching two-dollar slappers disrobing while swinging round a greasy pole.
While it's admittedly a sweeping generalisation, I think it's fair to say that most men are prone to a spot of XXX viewing from time to time - whether in some downtown sleaze bar or with the curtains drawn in the comfort of their own home.
The simpler sex seem somehow more easily stimulated by visual means than our fairer and more complicated partners. And it's well documented that men think about sex approximately 16 times every minute.
While our forbears kept a stash of "stick mags" under the bed or buried beneath their '70s cardy collection deep in the bottom drawer, today's gutter crawlers can simply log on to www.buxomblondesdoitinahayshed.com to get their naughty kicks.
I'm organising my mate's stag night before we send him off on the fraught road to matrimonial bliss and the wisdom of arranging a trip to a strip bar is up for discussion.
"Watching a stripper is a rite of passage for every young man," claimed one blog respondent.
"Who wouldn't like seeing some chunky thighed girl from Matamata peel off her cheap Farmers G-string while gyrating to Guns and Roses?" chimed another.
One fiancee put forward the notion that her own man was morally opposed to watching a stripper, finding the experience sad, empty and wholly unarousing.
That provoked mirth from half the online world, but flying to her defence Geoff made the following pointed remarks:
"Watching someone strip that has no interest in you, nor you them, does nothing.
"Having someone that is actually into you strip has meaning and is far more interesting/exciting than any disinterested person doing it only for the money."
While sounding a bit like the political manifesto for Family First or the Society for the Promotion of Community Standards, of course he's right.
There's nothing like the electric, sensual connection that two people have when they love and respect each other. You'd be hard pressed to find that in a Showgirls lap dancing kiosk with some bimbo called Candy.
For my own part, I've been to strip clubs, and they tend to be a forgettable, hollow experience lacking in any meaningful human emotion.
But I'll probably drag my mate to see one before he says "I do".
For centuries men (and women) have worshipped the nude female in sculpture and life drawing paintings. Even Coca-Cola designed their bottle like a naked chick. Unlike us men folk, you ladies have beautiful curves. We fellas in comparison are like dull, shapeless sticks.
So for the foreseeable future, internet stories with the blood red alert: "Warning - explicit material" will continue to get the most hits. Politicians will continue to be embroiled in salacious sex scandals with high-class prostitutes and seemingly faithful husbands will keep cheating on their wives.
And Hugh Hefner will get richer still.
That's just the way it is.
- © Fairfax NZ News
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The first time I made it into a strip bar was on my stag night, I was so drunk I was seeing double (which may not be a terrible thing in a strip bar), and nearly threw up on my alloted lapdancer. Claassssy!
Out of curiosity to see what these places were like when I was sober(and so I could say I had been there), a few months later I spent an hour or so in mermaids, and found it utterly uninspiring. The naked women get normal (and thus less interesting) after a few minutes, and the near constant soliciations for a lapdance get annoying after about the same length of time. The only other time I've been there was on someone else's stag, and I can't think of any other reason why I'd go back.
Geoff nailed it with his comments about someone into you stripping for you. Much more fun than what is essentially a business transaction performed with a commensurate amount of interest.
Have been to a few strip clubs and usually enjoyed it, don't really get other females horror of them - that said I did see a show with male strippers once and that was HORRIBLE. Sweaty over pumped men who dripped oil (not intentionally..) on to you with ego's the size of cars but the absolute worst part was the middle aged women screaming and lunging. Have never been so ashamed to be a female in my life and I have to say out of the few times I went to a strip club where females striped I never saw the men act as disrespectful as those women did that night *shudder*
Ahemmm.... I have beautiful curves.
I always smile to myself when I hear the term "high class prostitute." Bit of an oxymoron, don't you think? "Expensive" does not necessarily equate to "high class."
@ Nick Churchouse #4
Does a beer belly would count as a 'curve'?
xLeahx #1
Don't do it Leah, let his mates have free reign for the last time, your organising his stripper sounds a just little bit controlling.
You trust him don't you?
Went to a strip club with ex hubby in Melbourne, and paid for his lapdance. Unfortunately, he got a less attractive lady than the one I had envisioned for him. Hah, the bugger knew I was laughing at him, and repaid the favour with the other chick - man, she was hot!!
Agree with Geoff wholeheartedly. But I've never had the kahunas to do it myself. Although I thoroughly believe that stockings and suspenders should come out from time to time.
@xLeahx - come on down to Wellys chick, and we'll make a night of it :)
n #3 1:29pm
Yeah, the few times I've been to the strippers the guys are usually pretty well behaved, I'd say partially because there is a mountain of a bouncer out the front and those stilletto heels look damn sharp.
Thing is I've had both good and bad experiences at strip clubs. Some, either the girls are very good actors or at least enjoy dancing, whereas others although good looking just don't want to be there. Its the former who seem to gain more tips unsurprisingly.
But yeah, a little over the strippers these days. Was fun when younger but most of the time its a bit meh.
@ Lippylindy - I actually disagree, he may well find it more of a turn on and more of a 'gift' knowing that xleahx had personally chosen the woman to entertain him and his friends.
Take it from an older married (boring) woman, these are the sorts of things you bring up affectionatly at each anniversary afterwards, and things he will mention and remember while having some beers at times!
I think it could work brilliantly, and provide a sentimental side to the stag stripper. :)
It's weird but going to see strippers with my man was fun, I even got the stripper to give him a special dance (it was his birthday), but the thought of him seeing strippers without me (at a stag do, for example) makes me irrationally upset. His stag do will be in a few months, I am worried some of his mates might get him a stripper. BUT I am also actually considering maintaining some control over the situation by hiring the stripper myself and specifing exactly what she can/cannot do. It's more for the other guys anyway, blokes expect that sort of thing at a stag do.
P.S I actually want to go to Mermaids. Just because I am curious.