Comeback kid

Friends, I'm feeling a bit like Gandalf, who said in The Lord of the Rings, "I come back to you now at the turn of the battle after fighting a balrog".

Or something like that. The point is, this is my first post in a while after an unavoidable absence.

Thanks to you peculiar people who asked where I was. At the risk of turning off most of our audience, who have made their feelings on the infant species clear, I'll keep the answer brief.

I'm a father. It's happened, as nature always threatened it would - at least from the moment of conception.

He's unbelievably beautiful, which sounds unbelievably predictable but it's true. Even his nurses say so. He has these steely blue eyes which could still turn blue or brown (we're taking bets). He's got a head of hair that makes him look like he's been born with a middle-aged case of male pattern baldness. He's got a powerful suck on him. And I've got a hunch I've seen him smile and possibly even wink after a feed, which is way ahead of schedule.

I say nurses because he's still in hospital. He's been there since he was born, in the Neonatal Unit, fighting his way to health, rotating his way through all the various machines, tubes, teats and medical staff they've got.

Thankfully, in a way that feels miraculously, he's doing incredibly well. The first few nights were harrowing, watching him go up and down late into the night, and not being able to pick him up, for fear the stimulation would throw him out of kilter.

But now the tubes are out, the milk's going in, he's sleeping like a baby, and we're tentatively hoping we'll be out by Christmas.

Along the way, I've felt so many things they're already blurring. There was labour itself, the maddest day I've ever experienced, with the pain and the contractions and the slow passing of time and then finally the arrival. (Males: you've no idea; Females: you've no idea of my new respect).

There's been the endless time in hospital: the repeated lunches from the cafe, the walks through Newtown, the jostling for a carpark, the sterilising gel, and always the feeling, whenever I emerge, especially in the first few days, that it was bizarre and inexplicable that everyone else was just going on with their lives.

There's been the unavoidable sense that some things just matter and most things just don't.

Then there's been the return to work, the new stress that comes from doing this for weeks, the odd hiccup as he loses a few grams, or I drink too much at a work Christmas party, or we just get tired.

But he's here. We've had the most terrific care from everyone at Wellington Hospital. We haven't even had to put up with sleepless nights at home yet. And I'm so wildly grateful for it all - for him, for his fighting little spirit, for our luck - that I can hardly believe it.

(Okay, so not so brief, but Daddy Cool's buggered off, so maybe there's room for your indulgence?)

Newest First

Oldest First

K   #1   10:04 am Dec 16 2009

Congratulations to you and your shiny new family. That's awesome. Arohanui xxx

Roxy   #2   10:19 am Dec 16 2009

Congratulations. I have been in that bizzare little world that is the neonatal unit the staff are amazing. I hope the little guy is going to be ok and home soon.

Tracey   #3   10:20 am Dec 16 2009

Congratulations! So sorry he's in neonates tough, poor wee soul. Babies are tough critters though. So much tougher than they look. Enjoy these early weeks, they go so fast (as everyone will tell you). One thing that won't go in a hurry though is the sense of amazement he gives you. My lill one is 3 months old and feels like she's been here forever, but I still look at her everyday and can't believe how incredible she is and how lucky I am.

All the best!

MsM   #4   10:29 am Dec 16 2009

Aw bless. That was lovely - congrats to all 3 of you and best of luck for the long arduous journey that is parenthood!

MC   #5   10:37 am Dec 16 2009

I am so so glad to hear the wee one is doing well and that he continues to become healthier. Welcome back Tom and Merry Christmas!

em   #6   10:37 am Dec 16 2009

Congratulations Tom and partner! I'm so glad your wee man is doing okay, must have been very hard not being able to hold him for days.

And just ignore the people who don't want to hear about your experiences of fatherhood - plenty of us don't mind a bit.

NoAngel   #7   10:45 am Dec 16 2009

Welcome back Scrappy Doo... looks like you've got a little fighter on your hands. Way to go!!

Hayley   #8   10:52 am Dec 16 2009

Wow! Awesome that he's pulling thru and you're keeping strong. Congratulations and best wishes to you and your family Tom.

Des   #9   10:56 am Dec 16 2009

There's been the unavoidable sense that some things just matter and most things just don't.

Well, look at you - you have figured out parenthood already! Great sentence - says it all!

Congratulations, I wish you a very special Christmas with your new little family! :)

Geoff   #10   10:56 am Dec 16 2009

"Sleeping like a baby"??

So waking screaming every few hours?

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