Best & worst: Cannes day one
THE GOOD: Audrey Tautou has that kind of French je ne sais quoi that means she can pull off a long-sleeved, boat neck, ankle grazing Prada dress and look elegant, quirky and timeless in equal measure. I chalk a lot of it down to her dimples ... and the fun embellishments on this dress. They help too.
ONE OF THE BEST: Blake Lively owns this stunning burgundy Gucci Premiere gown (Gucci are her main pay check, and so she wears them almost exclusively. Hells, if anyone`s going to get paid to wear clothes, Ms Lively is a good option). I love the neckline of this - and it works really well on her figure, I also love how it`s ever so subtly two tone.
THE CRAZY: There are always a few people that bring the crazy to the Cannes red carpet, and I`d like to thank them for their service. Russian reality star Elena Lenina is like Disney On Ice meets The Adventures Of Priscilla in this subtle, demure red gown ... but it`s the tiara designed specifically for a headache-inducing, fake-hair updo that`s really sold me.
THE FABOOSH: Jane Fonda always knocks it out of the park and she looks fantastic in this Elie Saab gown (check her religiously keeping her arm up away from her body. Woman knows the power of skinny tense arm on the red carpet). She`s like Helen Mirren meets Jessica Rabbit. Babe. Oh, and folks, she`s 76.
THE BAD: I`m getting Spanish widow in full-mourning mode in a Pedro Almodovar movie vibes from this Valentino dress on Karlie Kloss. She`s such a lovely lady and a red carpet pro, but even she can`t make this vintage lace Rorschach test work. And now that I`ve noticed those unpainted toes peeking out I just can`t stop looking back at them.
THE BEST LAPELS: Speaking of subtle two-tones, Djimon Hounsou wins suit jacket of the day with this gorgeous blue number ... I love how the shawl-meets-narrow-notch lapels are a slightly lighter colour than the rest of the jacket. PS: DH is joining the cast of the Fast & Furious 7 - boom, result!
THE MEH: Kendall Jenner is a fantastic model in her own right - pause that Kardashian bias a second, and check her out on the Chanel and Marc Jacobs catwalk: she held her own next to the best models in the world. But, this dress, for me, is a `meh`. She manages to make the Chanel LBD look quite chic, but facts remain facts, she`s wearing a bib.
THE BAD: From the front Laetitita Casta`s Dior gown is a ... `hmm,` pretty details, but a bit shapeless`; from the side it`s a `oooh, Lat has some junk in her trunk.` But from the back it`s an `Oh dear lord no, woman looks like she`s in a strange position in which she`s been forced to transport 20 guavas without telling anyone and so has just wrapped a duvet around herself, popped those guavas out back and duct taped that craziness up`.
THE MEH: Mallika Sherawat is by no means the most famous Bollywood actress - she`s like Malin Akerman level - but she`s ALWAYS at Cannes. I have no idea why. Here she is in turquoise Dolce & Gabbana. Lesson learned here, there`s only so much turquoise lace one outfit can handle. Mallika has moved beyond peak neon blue lace.
THE BEST DRESSED MAN: Who`s this silver fox you ask? Only Lambert Wilson - basically the French George Clooney - I adore his trim, well cut suits, I love that he chose navy for his daytime option, I`m loving his eveningwear glasses and I dig that he got Nicole up for a dance (maybe he just wanted to see if her skin is still able to produce sweat).
ONE OF THE BEST: Spanish actress Paz Vega looks so gorgeous in this Elie Saab 2014 Spring Couture cocktail dress. It`s showy enough thanks to the gazillion crystals, but is kept chic thanks to the simple silhouette.
THE NOT QUITE RIGHT: If this was just the PVC bodice and a simple white skirt, I think I`d love it, but the mesh-ness of the arms and the ruffles all down the skirt make this Stephane Rolland design a bit too Capitol-meets-Matrix for me. Zhang Ziyi can pull off most looks, but I think even she can`t conquer granny-stocking arms.
THE BAD: I appreciate the edgy road French actress Frederique Bel is traversing down ... but, at the end of the day, looking like an artfully gift wrapped one piece does not a fashion moment make.
THE FINE: This Victoria Beckham dress is perfectly lovely but I`m left with zero emotions toward it, perhaps it`s a bit too simple for the Cannes red carpet? You could almost get away with wearing this to the office - if you worked in a fancy office - or to the beach if it was shorter, and I think that means it`s red carpet underwhelming. PS: Zoe Saldana is posing with her husband, Italian artist Marco Perego.
THE GOOD DRESS, BUT ... Yes, this Altuzarra dress is lovely ... but, while I avoid commenting on a person`s body or looks, we need to address that face. It actually looks painful. We all know all celebs get plastic surgery, and that the ones that don`t look like they`ve had it have just have the best surgeons... but she`s so naturally beautiful, she doesn`t need to completely freeze her face. Look at her right eye, it`s like it`s trying to escape from the botulinum toxin. (PS: when did all of her freckles just disappear?!).
THE GOOD, JUST: On the one hand, I`m like, wow, this Armani Prive gown on Nicole Kidman is super stunning and like nothing I`ve ever seen, the embellishments are out of this world and that colour sings on her. But on the other hand - it`s verging towards futuristic princess Barbie and I`m missing the neckline this dress had on the runway (it was a straight across strapless, not a sweetheart - I think the straight across kept the dress modern). PS: We`ll get to Paz Vega`s loveliness in a second.
The 67th annual Cannes Film Festival has begun! Here are the best and worst fashion looks from the first day of film meets fashion craziness on the French Riviera featuring Blake Lively, Nicole Kidman, Kendall Jenner and more.
Daily updates to come!
- Who was your best dressed on day one? And your worst? Tell us in the comments below.