Best & worst: Cannes day seven
ONE OF THE BEST: Aishwarya Rai is both the Angelina and Jen-An of Bollywood - aka, she is huge, people love her and yet she is a tiny bit scary. She turned up to Cannes in full bombshell mode in this spectacular Roberto Cavalli gown. Kristin Chenowith wore this dress to the Oscars, but I think Rai, 40, wears it far more memorably. And those lips and that hair and those brows? A+.
THE NOT SURE: Of course Alessandra Ambrosio looks beautiful here, but the jury is still out on this Atelier Versace gown. On the one hand it has wow factor thanks to all those crystals and the interesting bodice, but on the other hand that one big shoulder makes it look like she has broken her arm and, at the end of the day, we can see her undies.
THE GOOD: Amber Heard looks classic and yet contemporary in this Vionnet bodysuit and metallic gold dress, and I like it. The whole thing is quite understated, it is basically a white tee and a maxi, but somehow she makes it look glam. PS: Can we all take a moment to just stare in awe at her perfect skin? Whenever I read articles about improving my skin I am all, ooh yes, need to do this ... until I get to the bit where they tell me to stop eating sugar and dairy. At that point I zone out completely. I obviously value flat whites and Whittakers over a flawless complexion.
THE BAD: This Alberta Ferretti gown is just all a bit overwhelming - crew necked, heavy on the embroidery and black ... oh and lots of chiffon. Christina Hendricks always look straight up banging in colour, and in a V neck, and so while the dress is overwhelming I am underwhelmed. You?
THE GREAT: Radiant Eva Herzigova, 41, looks oh so lovely in this Dolce & Gabbana dress. The colourful embroidery lightens the whole thing up, her messy up do keeps it fresh and that necklace?! I would be at risk of pulling a Li-Lo if I ever got within a metre of that thing.
THE GREAT: There are no full length shots of this dress, and there is very little info on it out there, and I have struggled to find out anything about Guendalina Ponti, but I just had to include this beautiful symphony of red sequins because, well, it is probably the most stunning red dress we've seen in a long time. She is also going straight to my brow-spiration Pinterest board.
THE GOOD: It would be very hard to make gorgeous Chinese model Liu Wen look bad - and this Saint Laurent gown certainly does not. I love how the beaded waist and ruffled neckline sings from the back.
WILD CARD: Absolutely despite myself I actually like this odd mullet Dior Couture dress on Marion Cotillard. I think it boils down to how cool her hair looks, how naturally elegant she is and that necklace, love that necklace. The only major complaint for me are those shoes - they're too clunky and heavy to work with this sack-like dress.
THE MEH: This year the red carpet at Cannes seems to have been all about big, boofy black dresses, and while this Zuhair Murad gown on Petra Nemcova looks beautiful from behind - that beading is the bomb - from the front it looks like she is just one arm raise away from a major wardrobe malfunction, and that is not a good look.
THE ARCHETYPAL: Only Sophia Loren can get away with walking down the red carpet with her reading glasses on her head - I think at 79 you can do whatever the hell you want - and while her eyeliner is straight up unusual and the neckline on this Armani gown makes it look like she has just pulled some of that plastic they use to protect fruit over her chest, it is Sophia Freaking Loren, so who cares?
THE BEST, GUY EDITION: Ryan Gosling manages to make a tux look fresh and modern and very him thanks to his no tie approach - his made to order Gucci shawl lapel tux jacket also fits like a gem (as you would hope would be the case with made to order).
THE GOOD: I am a sucker for anything in rose gold, and so heart this Gabriela Cadena gown on Selita Ebanks. She keeps it fresh thanks to simple hair and complementary eye makeup, and the cut absolutely sings on her curves. PS: Gutted to be the dude caught digging for nose gold behind her.
THE GOOD: When I first saw a thumbnail of this look I thought it was Jennifer Love Hewitt ... why is she there? ... I thought. But no, it is actually legendary French actress Sophie Marceau, who, at 47, is 12 years the senior of JLH. I normally hate anything in this sheeny material - it reminds me of a ball gown I wore during a particularly awkward adolescent phase of my life - but somehow the Braveheart actress makes it work. Right, I am off to the library to check out every single Why French Women ... book as Sophie looks so super stunning that I want whatever she is having.
THE VA VA VOOM: While it is probably all a bit blingy for most people, there is no denying that Swedish super-glam-model Victoria Silvstedt looks eye catching in this gold column gown. It is all very her, and all very flattering.
In today's French Riviera fashion installment Aishwarya Rai, aka Bollywood royalty, shimmers, the model brigade looks stunning and yet some very odd choices are made. It's the best and worst dressed from Cannes day seven.