Best & worst dressed celebrities

17:00, May 29 2014
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: I appreciate the direction Emily Blunt is moving in with this David Koma get up, but at the end of the day this lattice-work-leather nightmare makes it look like she's found herself in some sort of terrible hostage situation but with a kidnapper that went to Fine Art school and so is really creative with duct tape.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Erika Christensen - who most of you will know from Parenthood - is a beautiful woman, and from afar this is just a slightly too long but still lovely coral dress. But zoom in on this sucker and we soon realise that her chest cling-film is the most ill-advised material choice we've seen all year. She was raised a Scientologist, so perhaps this is some kind of sweat penance - you know, 'Oh shucks Tom, I had an impure thought.' 'Alright Erika, 48 hours with the boob sauna on. Don't worry, you'll get through it, I did 72 hours of crotch cling film after my boys' weekend with John and Will.'
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Leona Lewis looks like an ultra-rich, ultra-country, ultra-eccentric widow. Like one of the less famous Judd sisters in mourning. 'Wynona, be a doll and grab my fascinator ... oh no, actually, make it the bedazzled neckerchief. Aw heck, grab both. It's what Bobby-Rae would have wanted.'
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: I was so delighted when Pamela Anderson opted for a chic pixie cut a few months ago, it let her natural beauty shine through and was a nice age-appropriate decision, but what's going on here?! Has she just plopped a polyester wig atop her head? Or are these some terribly applied Ken Paves-designed extensions? Either way, it's a definite regression.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Here we have the amazingly lovely Rosario Dawson in Vionnet - now, fishnet is questionable even when worn on legs, but when used to squish one's ladies together? A level below questionable.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Andie MacDowell, 56, looks radiant in this diamond cut dress by Kiwi designer Johanna Johnson. This is a hard shape to wear, but she certainly pulls it off. I think the fact that her hair colour and skin tone were born to be paired with this rich shade of red is a very good start. Speaking of casting, I'd like to see Ms MacDowell in a movie in which she plays Jennifer Connelly's long lost mom. You know, had her when she was about 16, skipped town, moved on but always felt the ache ... until, one day, she's waitressing and she spots Jen across the diner, immediately recognising those genetically superior brows and cheekbones.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Bianca Brandolini is an Italian socialite of noble bloodlines, the girlfriend of the heir to the Fiat fortune and basically looks like a supermodel. Needless to say, her life's pretty fabulous. So, now, that dress. While I do unfortunately get slight menses vibes from the flowers running down the side of this Giambattista Valli gown, the rest of it is so exquisite that I can put on my floral-embroidery-that-looks-like-cellular-debris blinkers.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Were they smack in the middle of making Olga Sorokina's top when a red carpet 911 situation came up and she just had to get out there and pose? Alas, no, this nudey jumpsuit is meant to have an Alice-in-Wonderland-bad-trip-giant-tape-measure on it. I think this signals that the fashion industry has actually run out of viable original ideas and so is now having to resort to the absurd.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: She might have benefited from investing in a slightly less bulbous-shaped strapless bra ... hey, we've all been there. You know, discovering that, when photographed, your silk top is just HELLO BRA. Anywho, a tiny undies mishap is not stopping Princess Charlene Of Monaco from looking totally radiant in this Akris gown. That lip colour is resplendent on her. Oh, and folks, this gown could be yours for just $NZ5,890. Oh just about five months rent for this old thing? What a steal! PS: Before we move on can we all agree that Charlize should play Charlene in the bio pic that details what happened when she tried to skip the country just before her wedding to this hunk of a man?
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: New mum Emily Blunt looks fresh and lovely in London in this Osman dress - I particularly love the scalloped neckline (and, considering these photos were taken at about seven in the morning, Ms. B is looking mighty fresh). PS: I want cushions in this material, and while that sounds like an insult, it is totally meant as a compliment.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Heidi Klum is too often two thigh high splits or about 4,000 sequins away from the best dressed list, but this Versace gown proves just how stunning the model and media moge' can look when she dials it back. Just beautiful.
The week's best & worst dressed
WILD CARD: I appreciate that this won't be most people's cuppa - and I'm almost put off it by the swimsuit-material-sheen - but at the end of the day I'm just mesmerised by Laura Mvula in this Chinelo Bally dress. The colour is a stunner and I dig the contrast of material on the neckline. PS: If you haven't heard any of Laura's songs, then get on YouTube immediately. Try Take Her Hand first - so dreamy.

Colour rules the fashion forward pack this week, while boob mesh, bad wigs and fascinators make up the fails. 

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