The week's best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Firstly, it looks like Cara Santana is wearing a hospital gown backwards: all flappy and loose and open. Secondly, has she actually applied highlighter to the centre of her brow? Or does she just have a really specific sweat spot? Thirdly, if Scientology takes over the world Hunger Games style but still tries to keep things Hollywood-sexy, this is the direction I imagine medical profession fashion moving in. Typical dental hygienist attire, Xenu style.
THE BAD: Maybe, maybe, if this wasn't in a shade of granny panty it'd be a win. But, while Coco Rocha almost pulls off this Zac Posen gown, I think ultimately any piece of clothing that makes it look like you've tragically lost plural limbs is a little off its game.
THE BAD: Here we have Kendall Jenner, 18, in Fausto Puglisi - a perfectly pretty dress bar the fact one could visit the gynecologist in it without needing to adjust wardrobe-wise at all (that's quite a feat for a floor length number). I imagine Mama Kris is just off camera with a wind machine, putting in her all, hoping for a profile-boosting wardrobe malfunction. Oh, and Kylie Jenner, 16, is wearing a design by Nicolas Jebran (which was clearly a leftover from the Dutch figure skating team's Winter Olympics wardrobe).
THE BAD: Lorde is wonderful, of course, but there's no avoiding the fact that she's channeling a Hasidic Jew who's really into 1940s American culture and exclusively wears Zoot Suits (this outfit is his walking to work look - he'll change out of the sneaks and into some wingtips when he gets to the office).
THE MEH: Nicole Kidman's second look of the week was not such a success - this Prada dress makes it look like Sunday Rose has draped the old scraggly Christmas tinsel around her mum's neck. I also struggle with extreme cleavage when paired with skin-coloured dresses ... it's all just a bit fleshy. (Side note: Keith's highlights and Kate Gosselin haircut continue to be a triumph).
THE BAD: Rutina Wesley plays Tara on True Blood and is beyond beautiful, but she certainly needs to pop on a shirt, or at least a bra, and re-think applying highlighter all over her chest. PS: Fast fact, her dad (whose jacket she's clearly wearing) was a successful tap dancer and her mum a Vegas showgirl.
THE GOOD: This Amanda Wakeley dress is a total classic, and Amanda Holden is working it. The silky number is cut beautifully and is all about that diagonal piece of material cut across the middle (which means the whole thing is flattering plus-plus).
THE GOOD: Who knew a satin dress the colour of an extremely dehydrated person's urine could look so wonderful? I absolutely love this Vivienne Westwood dress on Jessica Alba as it's in a rust orange shade that we hardly ever see. Like shiny terracotta ... but she makes it work. Also, I adore her effortlessly ombre, shoulder length hair ... so shiny.
THE GOOD: Nicole Kidman can wear a straight-up-and-down gown like nobody's business, and this Dolce & Gabbana embellished jobbie is a true stunner. I adore the armour-like embellishments on the bodice, and the weight the details at the hem of the gown add mean the dress falls beautifully. Chainmail-chic at its best.
THE GOOD: Cara's sister Poppy Delevingne looks timeless and elegant in this Vivienne Westwood Gold Label gown. I love the floral print, the 'whoopsy' off-the-shoulder style and her lovely easy-updo with that red lip. She looks like a character in a classy Italian romcom, and that's a very good thing.
THE GOOD: I'm coming over all Chris de Burgh on this one. Chunky platform-heeled shoes *shudder* aside, Zhang Ziyi is radiant in this bold red Elie Saab gown. It's nice to see an Elie Saab that's not smeared in glitter, and it's refreshing to finally see a non-tacky, entirely modern and successful use of sheer cut outs. "I've never seen you lookin' so lovely as you did tonight ..."
THE MOST DIFFERENT: While I don't think this is one of the best dressed looks of the week, I just had to get Gwendoline Christie in this flamingo print gown in for you to see. Because a) it's delightfully, frightfully fun and b) Christie looks so different when she's not covered in blood and armour as Brienne that I just had to share. I'm not a huge fan of the neckline of this Giles gown, nor the slightly too short front hem but I love Christie's bob and find it hard to dislike anything covered in flamingos. PS: Fast fact, Gwendoline is in fact dating the designer of this dress, Giles Deacon (who looks like the love child of Terry Richardson and David Lange. Seriously, Google him).
THE I-JUST-DON'T-KNOW: Tilda has pulled a Swinton and worn an unusual dress from Schiaparelli Couture ... and I just can't decide if I love or loathe. Maroon and sky blue make a very good match, and I dig the neckline on old Swinty ... but the curtain tie-backs on her hips are throwing me right off.
THE GOOD: Anna Paquin sticks to her personal style and looks stunning in this Thakoon dress. For me, this outfit goes from snooze to snazzy due to this awesome gold necklace (apologies, I can't believe I just used the word snazzy in my aim for alliteration. That's right up there with 'funky' in terms of an ear violation).
In this week's best & worst dressed one Kiwi star shines, another doesn't, while Nicole has a mixed week and terrible jackets terrorise the red carpet.
In this weekly fashion fest we only bring you the horrors and the hits from the red carpets and only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder (testify!).