Best & worst dressed celebrities

20:47, Jul 03 2014
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Post-event, Ashanti said she loved this dress because of its 'great ventilation'. Now, I'm all for comfort, but underboob heat conduction needs to be way down the list when choosing a gown. This white lace monstrosity is by Michael Costello: doesn't that material just look like it would stink up real quick? It'd be Mitchum or die with this one, no messing about with inferior brands. 'Have you been near Ashanti tonight? She smells like she's been sitting in a sauna in a polyester boiler suit for about 48 hours'.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Jordana Brewster's look is evidence of how important material is when pulling together an outfit. Maybe if this was in a light chiffon or a heavy raw silk it would work, but it being in T-shirt material just makes it look like she's institutionalised - as in American Horror-style - but has managed to 'joosh' up her white cotton pyjama sack uniform using just tweezers and a plastic knife.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Keke Palmer's pulled a Kendall Jenner and got her hip bones out for the party. Her modesty is being saved, just, by a plastique art deco pattern ... nay, a pelvic shield. God knows what happens when the poor girl sits down. She looks like she's dressed up for some porny sci-fi convention. She's better than this. Oh, the 'dress' was designed by Alon Livne.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: I'm fairly sure this is Chris Lilley dressed up as Paris Hilton for the BET awards as some kind of elaborate prank. Look at her hand ... that's some Freddy Kruger action right there (just with a Valentino tan). This dress was also designed by Michael Costello - who is clearly a major fan of inappropriate amounts of cleavage and cut-outs in the least-flattering possible positions.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Wow, white dresses are really dominating the abominations this week. Here's gorgeous Sevyn Streeter, who is basically wearing a very long, badly-held-together loin cloth. Girl could not wear this in Wellington. Cute top though.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Here's cute-as-pie Zendaya Coleman, 17, in Emmanuel Ungaro. It's like a mid-nineties basketball player, let's say Penny Hardaway as his team's colour was blue, has decided to come out to his team as a cross-dresser, but wants to do so while still looking like he's in his team's official tracksuit. Phenomenally it's the skirt ruffles I find most offensive.
The week's best & worst dressed
WILD CARD: While I appreciate that this looks like she's wearing an arm cast that's covered in barnacles I kind of think she pulls it off (as an aside, I have an irrational fear of barnacles, like I sometimes imagine waking up, groggy, unable to move, covered in barnacles, and there's Hannibal, just looking over me. But now I'm confused as Mads Mikkelsen is hot? TMI? Moving on). This very embellished dress is Elie Saab, natch, and while those shoes are awful, I think the lovely Li Bingbing pulls this off thanks to her simple hair and makeup and the fact that she clearly just loves to have fun with fashion.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: This is all class. Ashley Madekwe looks effortlessly elegant in this bordeaux Cushnie Et Ochs silk crepe dress. A) That bordeaux red is a beautiful colour. B) I'd love to see the Duchess in this, she'd rock it.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Here's the Duchess of C in a bold pink dress by Goat (which is a weird name for a high end fashion line, yes?). The UK design is in wool crepe, and is definitely a good as I love the colour on Kate and of course she makes it look amazing ... buuut ... it does feel a tad mature for a woman of 32 (as in, I can totally see Jane Fonda rocking this). Thoughts?
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Kerry Washington, who had a baby just two months ago, looks summery and fresh in Dolce & Gabbana: I love the colours, dig her bouncy curls and adore her minimal makeup. She's a total red carpet pro (even when forced to walk in front of a screen emblazoned with giant images of herself on it. That would throw the best of us).
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: A+ hair and makeup (she's inspiring me to attempt falsies again. Let's not go into the clumpy spider legs that were my first attempt), cute pink satin shoes and a gorgeous bright blue dress - Melissa McCarthy knocks it out the style park while being honoured on the walk of fame. Love her.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BEST: Wowza. Nicola Peltz looks poised, elegant, modern, age-appropriate, not-bridal and just generally sizzling in this Stella McCartney gown (which is cut beautifully, nipping in at the waist particularly well for a dress with a cut out back). This is proof that sexy doesn't have to equal heaps of skin. Oh, and that eyeliner? A definite beauty highlight of the week. I still refuse to see the latest Transformers film however ...

The bads were all booby-bridal this week, while the Duchess, our fave new style star and classic cuts make up the good.

We haven't touched upon the Serpentine Gallery party this week, as we are all over that oddly-dressed event here.

In this weekly fashion fest we only bring you the horrors and the hits from the red carpets and only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder (testify!).

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