Best & worst dressed celebrities

17:00, Jul 24 2014
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Hannah Cornett is a pro-surfer, so I guess there is a small chance she was attacked by a shark en route to the Espys and then just didn't have time to source actual clothing. PS: I love the guy pointing to her skirt in the picture to the left. Like, 'Umm, Gary in control room, Gary in control room, please be on wardrobe malfunction high alert. I repeat, wardrobe high alert. Yes, crotch and nipple, there's a risk of, I repeat, crotch and double nip. Simultaneously, WE'RE GOING OUT LIVE HERE PEOPLE!'.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Jennifer Love Hewitt is beautiful, and Sass & Bide are great designers, but the marriage of the two just does not seem to be a happy one. JLH appears to have fallen victim to what happens to me every time I dare try on a jumpsuit - hip balloons. That's right, I'm sure Jennifer has perfectly proportioned hips, but something about this black number with its oddly-narrow shoulder line makes her look like she's actually inflated the crotch and hip area of her ensemble (this is never aspirational).
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Now if we could just delete the fringe tsunami from Joanne Froggat's Stella McCartney dress we'd have a win on our hands, but even an actress as delightful as her can't make this work. What on earth made old Stell design a perfectly cute chain-detail dress and then decide, 'ooh, I want to just add a touch more bulk, and something that makes it look like women are sporting Colonel Sanders' silken goatee on both their bosom and their bums.'?
The week's best & worst dressed
THE WORST: Oh wow. Here we have Selena Gomez in Blumarine. It's somehow frumpy and yet still entirely see through: the skirt we can work with, but that Pirates-of-Penzance-meets-a-doily-in-a-retirement-home-that-smells-of-mothballs shirt will never be acceptable. Look at the shoulders on that thing? Did a camel sew it?! Also, something about this just exacerbates the fact 21-year-old Gomez has the face of a 12-year-old (there's nothing wrong with a baby face, of course, but it's a little jarring against a see-through white lace shirt).
The week's best & worst dressed
THE BAD: Before some genius invented the sticky underside of a sanitary pad, women had to wear giant holsters for their pads (which were also huge. Respect for Victorian women who walked long distances while being visited by Aunt Flo). Anywho, aforementioned torture devices/menstruation solutions were clearly on the Pinterest board of whatever Louis Vuitton intern came up with this catastrophe of a dress. PS: Zoe Saldana is rumoured to be pregnant and has yet to confirm it which makes this white, backwards-thong pointer to her ovaries all the more interesting a decision. (And by interesting I mean one fry short of a Happy Meal).
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Diane Kruger's personal style is A-grade righteous, and she can pull off a geometric Roksanda Ilincic while still looking effortless and breezy like almost no other human could. Love. Oh, and in a total Kruger move she chose hot pink Dior sandals to accompany her tri-colour dress. Most actresses would just choose a nude pump, but not our Kruge.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: The boys behind Dolce & Gabbana love a floral print, and this is one of their best yet: Emma Stone looks feminine yet not stuffy in this D&G look. Some criticised this whole ensemble for ageing the 25-year-old, but I think it's cut beautifully and is certified fresh.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Slick, simple hair was the perfect choice to wear with this architectural Elie Saab dress (which is actually from his 2006 couture collection. Mid-vintage, mintage?). Obviously Jessica Alba looks good in almost anything, but, while I wasn't sure on it at first, I think the cardboard-like neckline is actually what makes the whole thing work. It elevates the spangly number out of early-2000s-Jennifer-Lopez music video territory (because otherwise it would just be a sparkly, tight bandeau dress).
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Amazing singer Jill Scott, 42 - who's currently starring in James Brown's biopic Get On Up - smashes it out the park in this Tadashi Shoji gown and Issey Miyake cover up. This could look frumpy on many, but Ms Scott has the attitude and elegance to pull it off. Oh, and that lippie is smashing.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Here's another one for the 'redheads-should-always-wear-purple' tome: Scottish Doctor Who actress Karen Gillan, 26, in violet Prada. I, as a general rule, dislike all things organza, and while the material is probably the thing I like least about this look overall, the line of the dress and her gorgous hairdo make it overall a major victory.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE GOOD: Lea Michele is a huge fan of all things bodycon and mini, and so this 1950s-style Preen dress is a very different look for her: a welcome change. I also really adore the angular lines on these Jean Michel Cazabat shoes. Win, win.
The week's best & worst dressed
THE I'M JUST NOT SURE: Hmm, I just can't decide how I feel about this one. On the one hand, I like the gorgeous one-shoulder and bold pattern of Rachel McAdams' Zuhair Murad dress and I adore these colours on her; but then that weird half skirt bustle is just a touch peacock and a little distracting. I feel like designers are fresh out of ideas and so have just gone a bit loco - 'let's add a whole swathe of material so that it makes it look like the darlings that wear this have an enormous hip tumour'. Or is the gush of material what makes this dress interesting? Help me out readers, good or bad?

In this week's best & worst dressed celebrities Selena Gomez manages to make an exposed bra look frumpy, while Alba, Stone & Kruger hit a six. 

In this weekly fashion fest we only bring you the horrors and the hits from the red carpets and only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder (testify!). 

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