In pics: Ricardo Tisci's birthday party
While the existence of this picture alone has me researching homes that are off the grid, it's Justin Bieber's caption accompanying the snap of him looking like a 13-year-old girl while cuddling up to Kris Jenner that has made me order enough canned food to stave off hunger for a few years. What is said caption, you ask? "@kendalljenner @kyliejnner who's your daddy". I feel physically sick to my stomach.
And here we have, among other not-so-famous folk, Ricardo Tisci, Naomi Campbell, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, Puff McDiddles, Cassie and Kate Moss. My favourite bit about this silly, 'candid' group snap is Kim's unflinching commitment to duck face, no matter the mood or circumstance.
Pedro Almodovar and Jessica Chastain were also at the party. I'm imagining genius filmmaker Almodovar stood in the corner and watched the Kardashian/Jenner ladies as research for the sequel to his movie 'Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown'. If he didn't, he missed a trick.
A bloused Jared Leto and possibly blazed Zac Efron were also there (and were photographed by wealthy Saudi film investor Mohammed Al Turki, who owns the yachts most celebs are 'papped' on).
Former mid-noughties frenemies Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian managed to use strong mind control to stem their stomach bile and stop themselves from vomiting with hatred for just long enough to get this blurry photo taken together.
Here's the birthday boy Ricardo with photographer Luigi Murenu - because a party's not complete until a grown man turns up in a studded waistcoat and a T-shirt with the host's face - but done up as a persecuted Christ figure - on it.
Guests at the party included KimYe, Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell (unusually, Kim looks like the most demure of the flowers here. Even Kanye's got a hint of nip' out).
To be fair to Kendall Jenner - whose 'it's SO hard being a model AND a Kardashian moan' lacked a normal human's level of perspective - she is holding her own while in a picture next to one of the most beautiful new supermodels in the world, Joan Smalls.
The birthday boy Ricardo managed to pose for a rare snap with the camera shy ladies that are Kendall, Kris and Kim. Note: the flash is not your friend when you're wearing more face powder than Matt Lucas would if dressed up as Marie Antoinette for a pantomime.
After getting back to their Ibiza hotel room, Kim posted this photo of her sleeping beau, presumably before strapping on her ceiling boots, hanging upside down and calling it a night.
Kate Moss has a micro-nap on Diddy's shoulder. Maybe Kanye's just tried to talk to her about his artistry.
From mother to daughter: The Biebs is really in the moment here.
Bieber, models and Kardashians galore - is this some kind of inferno? No, it's just the fashion party of the year.
Italian fashion designer and Givenchy creative director Ricardo Tisci (who also happens to be one of Kanye West's best friends) celebrated his 40th birthday over the weekend with a star-studded bash on the Spanish party island of Ibiza.
Here are the snaps of the celebs rubbing shoulders, falling asleep and hanging out...