Behind every beautiful woman there is a ... badly dressed boyfriend? Hmm, that's not how the saying goes, but one look at Simon Cowell and you'll know what I'm talking about.
While women in the spotlight might invest days to hone their look, why do some men choose an outfit that belongs in a badly styled music video from another decade?
Let's talk about Simon Cowell. His propensity for too-tight t-shirts, waist-high shiny pants or a shirt unbuttoned one too many is cringeworthy at best.
That chest Simon, while it may be a source of enjoyment for you and I applaud your confidence, is not something the rest of us need be exposed to.
While he obviously fancies exhibiting the results of hours in the gym, it is like he is intentionally showing off, which, as every woman knows, is never chic. It is the male equivalent of a Lycra mini dress: it flashes the goods but fails in the mystery department. And to keep pulling out the look time after time suggests he is genuinely into it.
Does Cowell need a style intervention? Only if he will listen to criticism which, going off his on-screen presence, is hard to imagine. Maybe he should try jumping on stage at one of his talent shows and asking the remaining judges to give him the harsh truth.
Meanwhile, mother of his child, Lauren Silverman, is a picture of understated elegance by his side and clearly not fussed at his sartorial choices.
Which brings me to Jemima Khan and Russell Brand. Khan is the ultimate sophisticate, having long been a staple on best-dressed lists. And Brand? I am a fan of his fast mouth and brash persona, but he seems to have modeled his look on a '70s porn star.
What else can explain the undone shirts, long necklaces, thin scarves and skin-tight pants? All together they spell s-l-e-a-z-e. An image that defined his early '20s when he was famous for his Lothario ways, but ever since he married and divorced Katy Perry, and voiced his social conscience, it is a reputation he has tried to er, put to bed.
Here's a tip Russ, lose the silky shirts and stop channeling a seedy band manager who wants to help young girls find fame by asking them to pose nude.
There are others who make this badly dressed-boyfriends list. Lewis Hamilton favours baggy, '90's cargo pants. The kind Jennifer Aniston made famous about the same time as the Rachel haircut.
His girlfriend, Nicole Sherzinger, who long ago ditched her Pussycat Dolls corsets for stylish dresses, could teach him a thing or two about letting go of your old favourites.
And Cristiano Ronaldo has a penchant for wearing ultra-tight t-shirts to show off that football-toned body, but when he adds a formal vest over the tees, I'm positive his supermodel girlfriend, Irina Shayk, has to look the other way.
So how do we drum home the style message? The key, dear boys, is to tone down the excess.
Wear a t-shirt in a size that skims the body, rather than chokes it, or do up a button even when you really believe your pecs deserve more eyeballs.
Remember what Coco Chanel said, look in the mirror and take one thing off before you leave the house (cough, Russell Brand, cough cough).
Style can be a learned trait. Just ask David Beckham.
- Sydney Morning Herald
Who was your best dressed of the week?