Best & worst dressed celebrities

20:23, Sep 04 2014
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Catherine Deneuve, 70, is obviously a goddess of the highest order whose mere presence would make a room that was full of kindergarten children, Paul Henry and bored German Shephards fall into a blissful silence ... but this dress is not okay. The Jean Paul Gaultier concoction makes it look like the French legend has popped her choir robe over a racy Eighties fishnet evening dress with shoulder pads of quarterback proportions. It's very the Grand Dame of the Starfleet.
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Speaking of Star Trek, this is probably how I would costume a Klingon lady of the night if I was to find myself in the sci-fi show's wardrobe department. Charlotte Gainsbourg - the daughter of French singer Serge and English actress Jane Birkin - has a nouveau-Patti-Smith, 'I-don't-give-a-toss' attitude that means she can pull off anything. But this Anthony Vaccarello leather dress is one giant sternum cutout away from being okay. Why are designers all of a sudden enamoured with showing off this area? Ease of access for emergency open heart surgery perhaps?
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Hayley Scanlan has just been awarded the Young Scottish Fashion Designer of the Year Award. Did the judges have an 'oopsie' moment when they saw this design sashaying down the red carpet? There's a lot on offer here, but it's actually the diagonal procession of buttons that offends me the most.
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: To be fair to Mrs Brown's Boys actress Jennifer Gibney, this was a red carpet for Strictly Come Dancing, and so this dress that looks like it was crafted from Spotlight's offcut box is at least event appropriate. That doesn't make the crepe paper train okay however.
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: A neon pink T, leather shorts and floral Docs: a look an 18-year-old whose metabolism is still hummingbird-quick could definitely wear to a music festival, but T-shirts with long sleeves and high necks like this are so hard to pull off, and Rose McGowan, 40, (aka Judy Garland's doppelganger) is not making it work. I personally avoid any tops in this shape as they make me look like I possess a torso similar to that of Ben Franks (no offence to him, he's looking great, but a prop's physique is not, for me personally, aspirational).
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Simone Rocha - daughter of peddler-of-Debenhams-goods John Rocha - is also a fashion designer, and she was also honoured at the Scottish Fashion Awards. And yes, this goth-incarnation-of-a-Quality-Street-wrapper is her design. I admire its individuality, but am just not sure how an everyday woman would ever be able to wear it without just getting in the way (imagine sitting next to someone on a bus if they were wearing this thing!). It also reminds me of the worst scrunchie I ever owned (bad flashbacks).
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE I JUST DON'T KNOW: Jennifer Lopez can pull off almost anything, but I'm not sure she's owning this Valentino dress that looks like it was designed for a Japanese teen pop group's album promotion wardrobe. I'm fluctuating between finding it twee and affected and then thinking it's super chic in a Mod way. Thoughts?
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE MEH: Hmm... now, this Saint Laurent look is certainly not bad, but it's definitely not flattering. I'm guessing Jen An was frustrated with all the media juice Brange's 'secret' wedding was getting and so decided to wear an outfit and pull some hand movements that would get the 'JEN'S SECRET JOY' headlines amping again. Mark my words. Some tabloid covers will be created just because this glittery look makes it look like she possesses a puku. (This is just an example of a dress that can't be paired with a blazer ... you know how you've got some tops that are totally cute in summer, but in winter as soon as you try and pair a cardi' with them they make it look like you're second trimester?).
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BEST: It's the Venice Film Festival right now, which means plenty of stunning European and South American actresses schooling us plebs on how to do the red carpet. Here we have Camila Sola making a silver thread and metal-style embroidery dress look effortless. Am also loving her use of the much under-appreciated half-up, half-down hair do. Who is this Jess Alba-Sofia Vergara hybrid, you ask? She's the daughter of 74-year-old Al Pacino's Argentine actress girlfriend Lucila Sola. Oh, and Al's lady love is 34 (which I'm guessing makes Camila younger than she looks).
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE GOOD: And here we have Spanish actress Charlotte Vega wearing a beautiful embroidered white dress that hangs wonderfully (that thing must be heavy). Keeping her hair and makeup simple gives the whole thing a lightness of being. Babe.
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE GOOD: This dress would look like a high street knock off on so many (the type that would permanently smell in the pit area after about three wears), but lovely-lovely actress Elizabeth Banks looks wonderful in it thanks to big smiles, great shoe choice and just generally being a babe. Oh, the dress is MCQ by Alexander McQueen BTW (you know, just in case you've got an extra couple thou' to drop).
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE GOOD: Being the boss she is, Helen Mirren can pull off three clashing Dolce & Gabbana prints no probs'. Looking sharp.
Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE GOOD: Here are genetically-gifted mother-daughter duo Yasmin and Amber Le Bon looking like the matriarchs of King's Landing in Temperley London. Daughter Amber's dress is flawless - that embroidery, oh to have a kimono-style jacket with that embroidery! - and while Yasmin's dress looks a touch frumpy and oppressive here, it did look really rather lovely in motion (I YouTubed it just to make sure).

In this week's best and worst dressed of the week, a fashion legend makes a rare wrong turn, Jen-An pulls out her baby bump again and J-Lo confuses.

We haven't touched upon the GQ Man of the Year Awards here, as we're all over those here (with giving Kimmy a pass stirring up a lot of controversy). (Well, we did include the Le Bon babes from that event in this week's round-up as they walked the red carpet late so we missed out on them the other day). 

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In this weekly fashion fest we only bring you the horrors and the hits from the red carpets and only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder (testify!). 

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