Stuff's Top 10 fashion crimes

BRONWYN WILLIAMS
Last updated 10:39 26/08/2011

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New Zealand Fashion Week is almost here again and all the fashion industry types are dusting off their finest for the shows.

Fashion can be taken far too seriously at times - so with that in mind we have put together Stuff's Top Ten worst fashion trends of the decade for your viewing pleasure, because fashion can be funny (and frightfully ugly) too!

See if you agree with out selection and send your suggestions for what you think this decade's worst fashion crimes are by commenting below.

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1. Side effects of low-rise jeans
Blame Alexander McQueen for this one - believe it or not the master of the British catwalk can be credited as the first to make low-riding denim popular. Sadly, the after effects of this trend are some of fashion's worst crimes - muffin tops (lardy rolls hanging out the top of the pants), whale tails (G-string showing out the top of the pants) and, for the blokes, boxers hanging-out the top of jeans or pants.
 
2. Popped collars
This Chav trend crept onto our shores and became popular with jocks and other sport-inspired types. Not just for the boys, the pop was also adopted by private school girls with their matching Canterbury track pants. Polo shirts are usually the victim of "the pop", although dress shirts are seen popped in more drastic cases. (A Chav, for those who don't know, is the British version of white trash.)
 
3. Ugg boots and mini bits
We all "oohed" and "aahed" when Elle McPherson, Britney Spears and Kate Hudson were spotted wearing this iconic Aussie footwear, and we copied them as they flaunted their bits in the boots on warm summer days. While it never really made sense to keep your toes warm while your legs got cold, we did it anyway. This slobbish footwear is the nightmare of true shoe lovers, and should be kept in the house.
 
4. Von Dutch anything
Those were the days. When we eagerly watched Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's every move. The early 2000s were dominated by trashy trends. To look cheap, it seemed, was expensive. Von Dutch was the brand of the moment, and we lived for faux leather bowling bags and trailer-trash trucker caps. Those days are, thankfully, gone!
 
5. Adding a heel to casual footwear
For some reason, fashion had an obsession with trying to turn the casual into dressy. And apparently the easiest way to do so was to throw a heel onto it. Heels were glued onto everything - Converse Chuck Taylors, sneakers, even work boots. The worst by far, though, are the following: Spice Girls boots (adding a heel to a sneaker), high-heeled flip flops (yep, we added a wedge heel AND a stiletto heel to these), and high-heeled Timberland boots. J-Lo was a fan of these last ones, and my weren't they fine!
 
6. Matching tracksuits
See also the Von Dutch Anything trend. Our obsession with matchy tracksuits went hand-in-hand with Von Dutch accessories. Again, Paris was responsible for sparking this trend, with her matching tracksuits by American ambassadors of trash Juicy Couture. Paris had a tracksuit in every colour and we did too. Hell, she even wore hers with heels.
 
7. Mince and cheese hair
For the uneducated in food-related hairstyles, the mince and cheese 'do comprises of a dark dye job on the under layer of the hair (usually brown or black), and a light layer on top - this is almost always white blonde. This was the sophisticated hair trend of the mid-2000s; it screamed class and polish. Also of note is the sister of this trend, the skunk streaks.  
 
8. Frosted tips for men
We blame Justin Timberlake and his curly golden locks. It was the height of N'Sync's fame, and posters of JT and his band mates were pasted in teenage bedrooms all over the world. Young men all over mimicked their blonde tips, and it became normal to stumble upon teenage guys walking about with streaking caps on their heads. The lucky (and wealthy) ones got it done properly at the hairdressers, and the rest of them did it at home. Frosted tips ranged from the whitest white tips of the hair, to the dirtiest "morange" (the result of failed bleach jobs on black hair).
 
9. Diamantes on everything
Again referring back to our love for the trashy, 'bling' was in. We practically rolled in glittery diamantes, gluing them onto everything including cell phones, teeth, children's dummies and the neighbourhood cat.
 
10. Self deprecating T-shirts
What was up with that? Sorry but I honestly have nothing to say about this except "really?" It's hard to believe we were happy to label ourselves as "Slut", "Bitch" and "Nasty Girl".

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