Some things should never have been invented, like harem pants, high-heeled flip flops and boy bands. The world would be better off without them.

A lot of us feel the same way about ankle straps. They are the doings of the devil, made to enlarge women's ankles until they resemble tree trunks.

Unfortunately, we tend to forget this when designers send them down the runway on dainty models' ankles. "Oh, don't they look fabulous!" we swoon.

But cinch an ankle strap around an even-slightly-less-than-dainty ankle, and it'll blow up like a balloon (the ankle, not the strap).

You can sob into your cornflakes all you like, but there's a reason Beth Ditto wears pumps with an open vamp.

To the bony-ankled, the chicken-legged, and the scrawny-sticked: you and ankle straps go together like K-Ci and Jojo.

For the rest of us, there's the court shoe.

- © Fairfax NZ News

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